Reddit Parents Share Their Funniest Postpartum Milestones Instead of the Traditional Baby Markers

Moms on Reddit are cracking up over the milestones you hit after giving birth, like your "first long, uninterrupted shower" or "first sassy response to random unsolicited advice from a stranger."

From What to Expect The First Year to Wonder Weeks, parents soak up all the info they can about babies' big milestones. But what if moms celebrated certain postpartum milestones in the same way? That's what one Redditor recently asked of the community, kicking off an entertaining thread.

Writing under the handle r/puresunlight, the original poster (OP) posed the Q: "What if we had fun(ny) milestones to celebrate for moms, not just for our babies?" She then gave the following:

  1. First long, uninterrupted shower.
  2. First sleep block > 4 hours.
  3. First time catching vomit.
  4. First time getting pooped/peed on.
  5. First time leaving the house without baby.
  6. First time fitting back into pre-partum pants.
  7. First time wearing the mom bun.
  8. First hot, uninterrupted meal.
  9. First self-care hour/day.
  10. First postpartum hair loss hairball.

Others quickly chimed in with their all too relatable quips. "First time you leave a cart full of groceries in the store because of a random meltdown," noted another mom. "First laundry that gets folded the same day it was washed."

An image of a woman showering.
Getty Images.

Another Redditor highlighted the moment in which you just stop guessing if whether you have spit-up, food, or other fluids on your clothing, noting, "First day you don't have to play 'What's on my shirt?' The first 'screw it, this will do' moment."

And another alluded to just how instinctual it is to "rock" your child—even when they aren't there, writing, "First time rocking an empty stroller or shopping cart."

Sadly, having to field other people's opinions is also proof that you've advanced in the parenting game, as fellow Reddit mom pointed out, sharing, "First sassy response to random unsolicited advice from a stranger."

But there are plenty of moments that are truly celebration-worthy as well. Take this mom's contribution: "First date night out without baby. We went out to dinner and I actually did my hair and makeup like I did before baby."

One parent added, "First hot cup of coffee/tea. First overnight trip without the baby (babies or moms). First giving advice to other parents."

Thinking about all these "postpartum mom milestones" even inspired another to joke, "It would be hilarious to make those little milestone stickers for this, to document and photograph yourself!"

While most moms will probably not be doing that anytime soon and might feel silly to applaud something like your first sassy response to unsolicited advice or first hot cup of coffee, they do deserve any and all the joy and credit for their hard work. Sure, the OP was goofing around, but she might really be onto something.

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