Reddit Users Suggest 'Parent Olympics' to Celebrate the Struggles of Life With Small Kids
There's unfortunately no gold medal for getting through bedtime, but there should be. Parents share alternative events that highlight the hurdles of parenting that should be rewarded on the podium.
Sunisa Lee's bar routine at the Tokyo Olympics was incredible and Katie Ledecky is hella fast in the pool, but what about the parent who just wrestled a rolling baby to successfully clean their poop-filled diaper? They deserve a gold medal, too.
Parents took to Reddit to suggest ideas for an alternate Olympics, chock full of humdrum obstacles between caregivers and kids. User millennialfalcon89 started things off by suggesting an event for "wrestling a toddler who is 'not sleepy' into pajamas." Other users chimed in with their own entries, ranging from bathtime and diaper changing to keeping a baby asleep.
One parent suggested medals for "changing a poop diaper on an infant who is doing an alligator death roll without getting poop smeared on everything." Other commenters agreed or suggested withdrawing altogether by putting the kid straight into the bath. We're not sure if that technically counts as cheating, or creative accomplishment of the goal.
"Getting a screaming toddler into a car seat. Two events; rear-facing and forward facing," was the input of another user. Bonus points for difficulty were suggested by timing the event based on how much of a rush the parent is in.
Water events weren't left out, as anyone who's negotiated bath time knows what a feat of athleticism it could be. "Who can get their toddler to tilt their head the furthest back to rinse their hair? I've only gotten them to tilt forward," asked one person.
Then there's the ultimate challenge: rocking a baby to sleep and then putting them down. Users recounted their victories and defeats against backdrops of dogs barking, vehicles backfiring, and older siblings interfering. If you've been successful, congrats! Now you get to attempt to sneak out of the room without making the floor squeak or stepping on a toy. Or, as one user put it, there's always the option to just give up and sleep on the floor. "Any good athlete will tell you that it's all about follow through," they wrote.
Until the International Olympic Committee becomes more forward-thinking, parents will need to provide their own participation medals and know that their accomplishments are seen and celebrated by their fellow caregivers.