Pregnant Teen Shares All the Unsolicited Advice She Received About Her Pregnancy—and It's So Wrong
The expectant mom, who has twins on the way, took to Reddit to lament the unsolicited advice she's received as well as the eye roll-inducing assumptions people make about her.
From the minute you find out you're expecting, it's possible you'll have to deal with unsolicited advice. And if you're expecting as a teenager, you can expect that advice to be on a whole other level, as evidenced by a Reddit post shared by a young woman who's expecting twins.
Writing in the Baby Bumps subreddit under the handle u/babybumps_21, the original poster (OP) identified herself as a "pregnant teenager" who "can't stand all these assumptions" being made about her.
The OP begged Redditors not to put their judgment on her as well. "I am a straight A student, I take my education very seriously, we were using a condom, I was taking the pill diligently, AND I took plan B when the condom broke," she noted. "My boyfriend is still in my life, and I am well freakin' aware that I'm too young to be pregnant. Well. Freaking. Aware. But this is how the cards fell, and I'll be damned if I won't love these babies with my whole heart when they're born."
She explained that people are commenting her on her size and weight gain, "which is really really hard." And she's also been receiving a lot of unsolicited advice.
"I've been berated for buying bottles and formula, which are just in case something prevents me from breastfeeding like an unforseen medical condition," noted the OP. "But even if I was planning to bottle-feed from the start, nobody has any right to comment on how people choose to nourish their babies."
She's also had people warn her not to give her kids iPads as though she was going to offer one up immediately because she's a teen. That's not all. "At the parenting classes we've been to, I've been told I should consider abortion even though I'm 23 weeks along," she continued. "I'm pro-choice, but that clearly wasn't the choice I made, and nobody gets the right to even suggest the idea at this point."
The OP lamented that she can't stand the abuse she's receiving, and it's taking a toll on her mental health. "I'm so sorry for venting to all my fellow pregnant honeys, I'm just so sick of it all," she concluded.
Redditors quickly jumped to comfort the OP. u/bc1921 tried to assure her that she's not alone, writing, "If it makes you feel ANY better, I'm 34 and pregnant with my second and people still make weird comments or try to push their opinions on me. I'm actually impressed by your attitude to not take anyone's s***."
u/Cloudypi added to the thread, "So true. I was 35 and everyone knows what you should be doing. There's nothing like being pregnant to bring out the crazy in people."
And u/September1Sun shared that despite being 32, married, having stable employment and a house and a planned pregnancy, her "mental health is being crushed under the weight of expectation and judgment." "I've even been shamed for reading too many parenting books and laughed at for my intentions to follow car seat safety recommendations," she wrote. "I've concluded that pregnant people cannot win."
u/sensualsqueaky offered a heartening story about two phenomenal women she did medical training with had babies at 19. "Being a mom is hard at any age, and being a mom as a teen absolutely comes with other challenges, but it does not automatically mean your life is over or that you can't pursue your education while still being a great mother," she noted.
Her bottom line: "People will judge you no matter what. Keep your head high, do what you need for your babies!"
In an edit to her original post, the OP expressed her appreciation for all of the warm, supportive remarks. "Oh my goodness, all of this kindness is so beautifully overwhelming," she wrote. "I wasn't expecting this in the slightest and I am so, so grateful to have people believing in me. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you."
Here's hoping she finds more sources of heartfelt support in every day life. Every parent-to-be, no matter their age, deserves no less than that.