Parents Take To Twitter To Say What 'Fantasy' Disappeared Once They Had Kids

After a Twitter prompt by writer and illustrator Aubrey Hirsch, parents reveal that the best-laid plans are sometimes just incredibly naive.

Mother holding infant daughter yawns while sitting on beanbag indoors
Photo: Getty

Sometimes, it can feel like everyone is an expert on parenting until they actually become a parent. It's easy to watch friends and family members go through the throes of various phases—from sleepless nights with a newborn to sleepless nights worrying about your teen—and swear you'll never do things the same way.

Then you have a child and realize that another human is going to have an opinion on sleep routines, food, and screen time from the moment they are born.

A viral Twitter thread called attention to how our best-laid plans often go out the window.

"What's the parenting fantasy you abandoned most swiftly and completely? Mine is definitely 'My kids will eat whatever we're eating,'" tweeted Aubrey Hirsch.

The tweet has more than 1,000 responses, and they're so relatable.

"That breastfeeding would be easy—painless, even, and that I would get so much done while they slept their sweet cherub slumber after they were satiated," responded Stephanie Land, the best-selling author of MAID and inspiration for the hit Netflix series by the same name.

The pressure to breastfeed can be immense—especially right now in the middle of a formula shortage—but there's no shame in giving a bottle. A fed, loved, and happy baby and family are the goals.

Others admitted they quickly changed perspectives when they became parents.

"The guiding question behind every parenting decision I make is, 'Is this the hill I want to die on?' I discovered the answer is almost always nope. Bring on the unsophisticated palates and co-sleeping," replied Molly House.

Sleep was a popular theme, and it showed families do things a little different—and that's OK.

"'We won't be one of those 'sleep schedule' families. They'll just sleep when they're tired!' (My kids' sleep schedule is the closest thing to a religion in my entire life," wrote Anna Maltby.

"'Sleep when the baby sleeps!' It turns out I still needed clean clothes to wear and dishes to eat off of, so I could not, in fact, 'Let the dirty dishes wait,'" lamented Emily F. Popek.

And sometimes, a little fib goes a long way for your sanity.

"''I will never lie to my kids.' They thought for years that Tim Hortons only had donuts on certain days," wrote @Le4h_says.

"A friend's parents told her the ice cream truck only plays music when it's out of ice cream," said Yamri Tesfu Taddese.

To which a user who goes by @vandervc replied, "You had an ice cream truck? We had the broccoli truck."

Genius. And then there are the lies we told ourselves.

"The first one was easy. We've got this nailed. Adding number two will require much less than double the work," Jonathan Quist responded.

Pro-tip for people who have been there before: Adding another tiny human is not the same as adding a second pet (as much as we love our furry family members).

"The thing is, going from one to two cats was easy—like 25 percent more work. Going from one to two kids was at least three times as hard," tweeted Joyce Novacek.

The thread left one new mama a little concerned.

"This is terrifying me. Someone, please tell me this wasn't a mistake," tweeted Miachal Rosenoer.

A veteran parent tried to make her feel better—sort of.

"Not a mistake, but just write down everything that you won't do with your kid right now and then turn it into a drinking game when you do. Then it's funny instead of depressing," responded @megansnakebite.

Cheers to doing the best we can.

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