Nanny Shares Ridiculous Job Posting From Family With 'Bonkers' List of Duties

If you've ever hired someone to care for your kids, you know how tough it can be to find that special person who earns your trust, bonds with your kids, abides by your rules, and seems like they could one day feel like a member of your family. You also know that when it comes to child care providers, you need to communicate your expectations with extreme clarity and specificity right off the bat.

But there's specificity, and then there's…this. Twitter user Hollis Jane Andrews shared an image of a job posting that she came across years ago, and it's a doozy, to say the least. The family sought a nanny who would adhere to an absurdly long, bizarrely worded list of responsibilities. And the kicker? According to the job post in the image, they expected said person to work for just $13 an hour.

"In 2013, I interviewed with an (unbeknownst to me at the time) Scientologist family to be their nanny. They gave this absolutely BONKERS list of responsibilities and now I give it to all of you," Hollis Jane Andrews tweeted alongside photos of the two-page job posting in question.

The job description is kind of bizarre from the get-go: The family is asking for a "magical" nanny/housekeeper who, as they make very clear, must keep the charges out of their parents' hair while said parents work.

Makes sense, right? If we learned anything from pandemic parenting, it's that getting your job done with tiny humans nearby is virtually impossible. But the ad spells out some odd solutions for how to keep the peace in the house while the parents work.

"Both of us work and whilst we do our jobs no matter what, it is best done distraction free," the ad reads. "This means that if I am training I don't want to hear crying or tantrums or headbutting." While that may sound fair—if a little unreasonable for young children—it is the suggestions for how to deal with such interruptions that had many on Twitter scratching their heads:

"If the boys are at all noisy, take them OUT of the house. If they hurt themselves, keep quiet, apply Dianetics & assist tech always," the ad instructs. For what it's worth, Dianetics is a Scientology method of pain management that says that a person can experience a psychosomatic condition where the soul causes physical harm to the body. According to the theory, if you remove the harmful thoughts, you can fix the physical pain. (So much for kissing boo-boos and using colorful bandages, we guess.)

It gets even more excessive, though. After feeding the children breakfast and getting them ready for the day, the nanny is required to play outside with the kids. And we're not talking idle play: The person this family hires will be made to "get them to run. Throw rocks and RUN with them, don't stop them running ever."

After a full itinerary that includes specifications on everything from what they eat ("steak with ketchup") to how to play ("make sure you act like a kid with them"), the nanny must put the children down for a nap and then "magically transform into a cleaning nazi" (a cringe-worthy description, at best).

The list of chores envisioned for the nanny in this ad goes beyond what is typically expected of most nannies. Many nannies will pick up clutter and tend to some light household cleaning if that is in their contract, but this list of 14 items, is a bit excessive, including deep cleaning the kitchen until it is "shiny shiny clean," making sure the bathroom is spotless, and emptying out "the stinky poo poo bin." It then ends with "if you finish with all this, look around and find anything else that can help things flow in this household better!"

The ad ends with one final requirement: "YOU NEED TO BE FIT FOR THESE BOYS!"

After Anderson revealed the rate—a measly $13 an hour—she clarified that this job was posted years ago. And granted, we've come a long way in our understanding of the idea that household employees need to be both paid and treated better.

But commenters are still not on board with this family's approach: "the NO MOVIES!!!!," one Twitter user replies. "meanwhile i leave my babysitters being like 'thank you, you are an angel sent to us from heaven, take anything from our home as you see fit, just keep them alive. if they are asleep when we get home even better. please please please come again.'"

Others wondered who would take this job and how it went. One Twitter user wrote, "There's a lot here but magically transforming into a cleaning nazi took the cake. I want to talk to whoever took this job and how long they lasted lol."

And others still were put off by one rather chilling section within the ad: "If they are not laughing, they are not happy," it reads when describing how the nanny must play with the children. "If they are crying and yelling, they are not happy and as a nanny you need to get them back to happy again."

Um, yikes.