A nanny just shared the wildest job posting—and she clarified that she did not take the job. You’ll understand why when you see this.

By Zara Hanawalt
May 20, 2021
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If you've ever hired someone to care for you kids, you know how tough it can be to find that special person who earns your trust, bonds with your kids, abides by your rules, and seems like they could, one day, feel like a member of your family. You also know that, when it comes to child care providers, you need to communicate your expectations with extreme clarity and specificity right off the bat.

An image of a woman pushing a stroller.
Credit: Getty Images.

But there's specificity and then there's...this. A nanny recently shared an image of a job posting she came across years ago, and it's a doozy, to say the least. The family sought a nanny who would adhere to an absurdly long, bizarrely worded list of responsibilities and qualifications. And the kicker? They expected said person to work for just $13 an hour, according to the candidate who posted the image.

"In 2013, I interviewed with an (unbeknownst to me at the time) Scientologist family to be their nanny. They gave this absolutely BONKERS list of responsibilities and now I give it to all of you," Hollis Jane Andrews tweets alongside photos of the two-page job posting in question.

The job description is kind of bizarre from the get go—the family is asking for a "magical" nanny/housekeeper who, as they make very clear, must keep the charges out of their parents' hair while said parents work.

Makes sense, right? If we've learned anything from pandemic parenting, it's that getting your job done with tiny humans nearby is virtually impossible. But the ad takes a turn: In the description, the parents make it clear that if one of their sons hurts themselves, the nanny must keep things quiet and "apply Dianetics"... oh, and they also state that whomever they hire must turn their phone off completely during working hours. OK, we get that no parent wants to hire a nanny who is scrolling the 'gram while on child care duty—but asking someone to turn off their phone completely seems a little extra, right? What if there's an emergency?

It gets even more excessive, though. After feeding the children breakfast and getting them ready for the day, the nanny is required to play outside with the kids. And we're not talking idle play: The person this family hires will be made to "RUN with them, don't stop running ever." After playing outside, the nanny must make the sons' lunch look "healthy and exciting" (and eat with them) before putting them to sleep with a "protein bottle."

When the kids sleep, the nanny must magically turn into a cleaning wizard. This requires a laundry list (er, no pun intended) of chores—which is (somewhat?) normal. After all, most nannies do tend to tidy up the kids' messes while they nap. But again, it's the wording that's so wild here: For example, the nanny must clean the floor until it is "shiny, shiny clean."  The ad ends with one final requirement: "YOU NEED TO BE FIT FOR THESE BOYS!."

After the original poster drops the rate (as mentioned above, a measly $13/hour), she clarifies that this was posted eight years ago. And granted, we've come a long way in our understanding of the idea that household employees need to be both paid and treated better than they typically are.

But commenters are still not on board with this family's approach: "the NO MOVIES!!!!," one Twitter user replies. "meanwhile i leave my babysitters being like 'thank you, you are an angel sent to us from heaven, take anything from our home as you see fit, just keep them alive. if they are asleep when we get home even better. please please please come again.'" Others want to know when the nanny is afforded necessary breaks (Yes. To. This.), while several commenters hilariously balk at the fact that the parents want their children to be fed either meatballs or "steak with ketchup" for lunch.

And others still are put off by one (kind of chilling, TBH) section within the ad: "If they are not laughing, they are not happy," it reads when describing how the nanny must play with the children. "If they are crying and yelling, they are not happy and as a nanny you need to get them back to happy again."

Um, yikes.