Woman Laments Being Brutally Shamed by Mother-in-Law for Not Losing Post-Baby Weight

After giving birth, the last thing anyone needs is to be berated for the weight they gained to sustain their child's life, yet one woman's MIL has no shame when it comes to body shaming.

After carrying a baby for nine months and going through labor and delivery, what you deserve is admiration, respect, and a round of applause—not to be berated for your body shape or weight. And yet, that's exactly what happened to a mom who recently posted about her heartbreaking experience with her mother-in-law on Mumsnet.com.

The original poster (OP), writing under the handle Anoart1, explains that she's "really down at the moment," in part because her mother-in-law commented that she's "so fat now" (a size 12) and that she should give away all her "really nice dresses" as she will "never fit into them again." The MIL's game plan: to give the dresses to the OP's sister-in-law.

Anoart1 explains that she politely told her MIL that she will lose weight. "It's just I haven't really tried," writes the new mom. To that, the MIL asserted that she wouldn't, because the baby is almost 2, and the OP is "still fat."

The OP was understandably left "really upset." She shares that she spoke to her husband "whose response was, 'Well, she's right, and no point keeping clothes you can't wear anymore.'"

As far as the OP is concerned, she gets to decide what she does with her own clothes. "I feel weird giving them away as MIL has decided I will never fit into them," she writes.

Later, in the comments, Anoart1 adds, "My own mum thinks MIL is right, and it's no point keeping clothes I will never get into again. The thing is I haven't even tried dieting. I'm two dress sizes from what I was before baby. I don't know why they keep making me feel like I can never be what I was. It's actually making me eat more!"

In response to the heartbreaking post, commenters championed the idea that the OP dump both her husband and his mom. "Can you divorce your husband and be done with both of them?" one wrote.

Others urged the OP to stand up for herself and set boundaries with her MIL. One noted, "She has zero boundaries, so you need to have some."

Another pointed out, "Abusive relationships aren't always just husband and wife. The way she is treating you isn't right. ...Your husband sounds equally awful."

An image of a woman holding a sign in a protest.
Getty Images. Parents.

The bottom line is that no one should feel body-shamed postpartum—whether they "tried" to lose the weight or otherwise. (And let's not even get started on the fact that "trying" doesn't necessarily lead to results, given that from hormones to digestive health, there's so much more to shifting the scale than calories in, calories out.)

Pregnancy and postpartum life are mentally, emotionally, and physically challenging experiences. All that truly matters is a new parent's overall well-being, of which weight is never an accurate reflection. And when it comes to a post-baby wardrobe, deciding what to keep and what to toss is up to the person whose body grew and changed to grow that baby.

In other words, none of what this MIL has commented on is in any way, shape, or form hers to judge or decide.

Here's hoping the OP took her fellow Mumsnet members' words to heart. No one should feel they have to stand for this kind of treatment. The OP's clothes, weight, and body are no one's business but her own.

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