Expectant Mom's Rant About Restaurants Trolling Pregnant Women Is Hilariously On-Point
A Redditor railed out against restaurants driving pregnant women nuts with eyebrow-raising, nausea-inducing dishes.
When you're pregnant, people love to ask what foods you're craving. But they're not as quick to inquire which foods are turning you off and making your stomach churn. Understanding that lots of expectant moms have food aversions and need to stick with certain foods—lest they get simultaneously sick and pissed off—is something one fired-up pregnant Redditor is encouraging restaurants to do. In a funny rant on the Baby Bumps subreddit, the expectant mom, writing under the handle skragen, wrote an "Ode to the restaurants that troll pregnant women."
Striking a hyperbolically dramatic tone, the OP wrote, "I simply cannot remain silent about this. Pregnant women need to stand up and unite against these deceptive practices. If we are fortunate enough to be feeling well and out of the house, to find a restaurant that doesn’t smell so foul that it prevents us from eating there, and then find something that looks appetizing (despite nausea) on the menu, that we can actually eat, it is a crime against humanity when these trolling restaurants do the following things to us..."
Skragen then described various "trolling" scenarios, like, "you order a 'kids grilled cheese' and they serve you some chipotle aioli slathered monstrosity w bell peppers and cold, old pizza cheese—what kid was this for?!?!"; "you order a 'Belgian waffle' for breakfast and instead of the light airy 'Brussels' Belgian waffle, they serve you a tiny heavy, dense, sweet bread 'liege' waffle that seems made out of croissant dough"; "you order what’s listed on the menu simply as 'French toast' and they serve you one 5-inch thick piece of bread (not even dipped like French toast and cooked) with almost 2 inches of whipped cream cheese on top and drenched in strawberry goop."
- RELATED: 27 Pregnancy Power Foods
The OP said experiences like these leave you "unclear what to do," listing the following options: "eat and be dissatisfied but unable to eat anything better for hours or a day?"; "eat and risk it making you feel even sicker and seeing the meal you didn’t like when it’s coming back up?"; "send it back and hope that the restaurant won’t troll you twice if you order something new?"; "don’t eat it, but pay for it anyway, and leave to try to hope the stars align for some other food elsewhere?"; or "try to ask the server basic questions like: 'So, I ordered the kids grilled cheese, but does kids’ grilled cheese have this spicy aioli slathered all over it and bell peppers?'"
She also wanted to know how to "proceed proceed in the future when you’re thrilled to have energy, have appetite, be able to keep things down, and find something you can eat.
"Do you keep hope alive that not every restaurant will troll you?" the OP asked other Redditors. "Sound like the crazy pregnant lady and ask the server all the questions before ordering: is this breakfast Belgian waffle like most other regular Belgian breakfast waffles or is it different in some unexpected way? Does 'French toast' come out like regular French toast or is there some special cream cheese or fruit sauce that isn’t listed anywhere on the menu?"
She continued, "Since I’m an adult, are you going to decide not to give me the kids’ grilled cheese I order and instead assume I want some nasty spicy mayo sauce stuff added to the sandwich & serve it with an unadvertised sad side salad that’s been growing bacteria during this whole hot day instead of the listed side of chips or apple slices? Stay your butt at home and only eat there? Only order 'off menu'—like: 'I would like a very plain grilled cheese, like for a child, just bread toasted with butter or oil and cheddar, grilled. Or plain rice please—no surprise corn, no special seasoned spicy butter, no extra sauces poured on top?' Only order if they let you try things first, like every restaurant is an ice cream shop? Only order things that they show you pictures for? Only eat at chains, so you always know exactly what you’re getting? Say you’re pregnant each time, so they know that they best not f*ck w your food!!?"
Other expectant moms applauded the OP's rant, having endured similar scenarios while dining out. Crimpyourhair shared, "I had lasagne with surprise corn, I was so miffed! It would have been perfect if not for that, I'm still salty."
Another Redditor named kittynaed shared how at six or seven weeks along, she and her husband went to a "generic steakhouse" where she was served a side salad that was more like "honey mustard soup with some token green chunks and croutons" and the "most godawful chicken ever ... coated in the sweet sticky Kraft Honey BBQ. Fries have some weird ass seasoning combo on them that was mentioned nowhere. Husband's shrimp is criminally overcooked and just... smells. Like dear God, no."
SlayyyZee recalled ordering "Naughty French Toast, because it sounded amazing. French toast, stuffed with maple bacon cream cheese & topped with walnuts... Yum." But what she received "can only be described as a breakfast club sandwich of poor decisions. It was three pieces of grilled brioche bread, NOT French toast, filled with sriracha cream cheese and fake bacon pieces, topped with walnuts and maple syrup. My not pregnant, not picky S.O. tasted it and declared it the worst thing he’d ever tasted in a restaurant."
Others offered tips for dining out while expecting. Toeverycreature wrote, "When I'm pregnant and eating out at a new place, I look at what other people are getting at tables around me. I'll tell the server I want what that person is having. It's kinda weird, but at least I know what will be on the plate. Otherwise I just go for fast food, because its always the same."
Mrsgubz shared, "Ordering 'off-menu' is what I usually do. I only like hamburgers with meat and bun. So I say plain and dry, which I've been told is restaurant speak for that, and then clarify further and say just meat and bun, nothing else."
Still, not everyone on the Reddit thread could relate. Sophie74656 humble-bragged, "I have no idea what you are referring to TBH. I'm 34 weeks and love going out to eat. No place has ever smelled bad, no waiter has ever given me a hard time for making a special request."
To that, ttwwiirrll replied, "Good for you! Eat allll of the foods for the rest of us!"
Hopefully, whether now or later, all of these pregnant ladies get to eat all the food they're craving—and aren't subjected to frightening meals, complete with "surprise corn," that only serve to kill their appetites.