The Facebook group Sanctimommy shared an anonymous post that slams parents who grab coffee before school drop-off. The responses are hilarious.

By Maressa Brown
October 04, 2018
Barista Holding Cup Of Coffee and Lid To Go
Credit: Ivan Kurmyshov/Shutterstock

For many parents, grabbing coffee in the morning is non-negotiable. After all, the actual work of parenting might very well be impossible to execute sans caffeine! But apparently, not everyone is onboard with this extremely non-controversial fact of life. In an anonymous rant, shared on Tuesday, October 2 to the popular Facebook page Sanctimommy, one Debbie Downer rails out against parents who show up at school drop-off with a cup of joe in hand.

"What is with this? Drop kids off at school, slopping your coffee—in a take-out cup, so it didn’t come from your home—all over, while you drag the poor child by the hand growling they will be late if they don’t move along... But you had to stop for that coffee? Really," the poster wrote. "Yes, you may have just come from work; you were up all night with sick kids; you didn’t sleep well. [There are] tons of excuses, but let’s be real here, 15 more minutes you could wait... Leave 15 minutes earlier if it is that critical you must buy coffee."

They next take aim at teachers, asserting that they should only get their caffeine fix during a designated break time. And it seems this naysayer feels coffee-drinking is the new smoking or pill-popping. "What kind of example are we setting for the kids that see adults every day, adults everywhere, with a cup in their hand," they inquired.

Seriously strange doesn't begin to cover this Facebook freakout.

Commenters were quick to defend their coffee-drinking habit and point out all the bizarre holes of logic in the ranter's argument. "Look, I’m a teacher. They’ve taken all sorts of things from us. Pay, benefits, smaller classes, breaks, etc. Don’t you dare try to take my morning coffee from me, Sanctibitch. I may be a teacher, but I will cut you. And I’ll do it with one hand because my coffee cup will be in my other hand," one educator wrote. 

One mom shared, "What if... just maybe... she DID manage to leave the house in plenty of time to grab coffee and be early even BUT *plot twist* she pulls up and the kid has taken its socks and shoes off and dumped its backpack out? Hence why slow obnoxious kid is being dragged?" 

Another joked, "Wait... YOU didn’t get coffee, yet you see this family going into school who you say is almost late? So why are YOU almost late? Tsk tsk."

One commenter put it all in perspective, writing, "I'm trying to imagine parenting without coffee. It's a dark, dark place." 

The bottom-line for most commenters appears to be that coffee is an essential ingredient of a productive morning for many parents and teachers alike. Not to mention a small pleasure. And who would begrudge anyone that? It seems only someone who hasn't had their coffee yet.