Mom Uses Metaphor to Explain Why She Says She 'Made' Her Child Herself

A mom on TikTok explained why, upon being complimented for her child, she replies, "Thanks, I made her myself!"

After nine months of growing a human being in your body, you have a lot to be proud of. And for a mom on TikTok, that pride has empowered her to often boast that she "made" her child herself, leaving her husband wondering, "What about me?" She addresses that question with a metaphor involving Walmart chocolate chips.

Stacey Reese, who posts under the TikTok handle @that.mother.hustler, shared a clip in which she explained that whenever she's complimented for her child, she's fine taking full credit and responds, "Thanks, I made her myself!"

An image of chocolate chip cookies.
Getty Images.

The Brilliant Metaphor

When her husband asks, "Don't you mean WE made her?" she counters, "You simply provided me with an ingredient I needed for my recipe." In other words, she says, if she was to buy chocolate chips from Walmart for cookies, she wouldn't say that she and Walmart made the cookies.

Fellow users applauded the mom's take. One TikTokker named Abycakez wrote, "Finally, someone puts [it in] words what I've tried to [say] forever."

Hosanna Reinhardt wrote, "He only provided one ingredient. Participation award."

And Danielle Taylor noted, "He practically put his name on a group project, and you did all the work."

Still, some saw Reese's approach as "disrespectful" and "putting her partner down." But she had a quip for those takes as well: "For those so concerned, I am simply talking about the initial 'making' of the child (before it's born)—not raising it. My husband is a great father! We are 50/50 raising her… Well, maybe 80/20."

While funny, Reece's video calls out the unfair double standard that commonly affects mothers in heterosexual partnerships: Fathers simply get more credit and applause for basic parenting efforts than their female partners.

Gender Roles and Double Standards in Parenting

Parents have long noted that there is a double standard in traditional roles of motherhood and fatherhood, with moms often bearing the brunt of the workload involved in the day-to-day raising of little humans. For example, when dads are seen in public with their kids, it is not unheard of that they will be celebrated for their effort, however basic. Meanwhile, mothers are socially duty-bound to do more of the heavy lifting in parenting and with little applause (or help).

For Reece, dad might be getting plenty of kudos for simply being a dad, but Reece's point is that moms should get credit where credit is due. And in her case, pregnancy was nine months of hard work, and she deserves the credit.

Traditional Fatherhood Roles Are Changing

While Reece is happily saying, "thanks! I made her myself!" she clarifies that she is not taking credit for her partner's work to help raise their child together. The age-old, sexist ideas that it's the mothers who should raise the children and fathers who should go to work are finally eroding away. A few interesting fast facts from the Pew Research Center note that American dads are stepping up in bigger ways since the 1960s when parenting roles were strictly gendered:

  • Stay-at-home dads account for 17% of American parents.
  • 57% of American dads see parenting as a huge and important part of their identity.
  • Only 27% of American dads are the traditional "breadwinner" in their homes.
  • Despite stereotypes about fathers and fatherhood, 63% of American dads say they wish they could spend even more time helping with the kids.

It should be noted that these statistics do not account for queer families, single-parent or divorced families, or other families where caregivers don't fit neatly into traditional mother and father roles. Still, it is encouraging to see that parenting is evolving to have less rigid roles.

Props to Reece for giving credit where credit is due—and continuing to gleam with pride for her nine months of hard work.

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