Mom Threatens to Have Her Child 'Object' During Sister's Wedding If She Can't Carry Her Newborn Down the Aisle

The bride-to-be is asking Reddit if she's wrong to tell her older sister that she can't hold her newborn throughout the ceremony.

An image of an angry bride on a colorful background.
Photo: Getty Images (1). Art: Jillian Sellers.

Weddings have a way of bringing out eyebrow-raising behavior among family members as bride-to-be on Reddit is proving with her post about her older sister. The original poster (OP), writing under the handle u/Pasta_on_my_laptop, wrote that her 29-year-old sister is her matron of honor, and she's currently pregnant with her fourth child. She's due a few weeks before the July wedding, and recently, she's "been making some comments that are a bit worrying" to the OP.

Specifically, the OP's sister has "repeatedly" said that "she is going to hold her new baby as she walks down the aisle," regardless of what the bride wants and despite the fact that her husband will be at the wedding and perfectly capable of holding the baby. She then plans to hold her baby during the ceremony "and even feed him if she needs to," wrote the OP.

The younger sister noted that it's not like it's going to be a long Catholic wedding ceremony—"just a regular ol cutesy outdoor wedding" that will run about 20 minutes long.

The OP explained, "I told her she should feel welcome to have her new little baby with her during the day while we're getting ready, but when it comes to walking down the aisle, I would not like her to be holding the baby. The baby could cry, poop, need to eat, etc." This only caused her sister to dig her heels in further, saying that if she can't hold her baby during the ceremony, she won't be in the wedding.

The OP noted that her sister is also making bizarre threats veiled as "jokes." She said she'll call her a bad aunt in her wedding speech—or get her other kids to "object" in the middle of her wedding. "I think she's trying to be funny, but all of these comments are frustrating and hurting my feelings," wrote the OP.

The OP then turned it over to the community, asking if she is in the wrong for telling her sister she can't hold her baby during the ceremony.

Overwhelmingly, commenters assured the OP that she's not, pointing out that her sister sounds narcissistic. u/Trex1322 wrote, "You should probably remove her from the wedding party if not the whole wedding because it sounds like she plans to make your day about her in one way or another."

Another Redditor, writing under u/yayyii, noted, "She wants your wedding to highlight her baby. Replace her as your maid of honor, preferably with someone who respects you. If she throws a fit or keeps the comments about interrupting your wedding, uninvite her."

u/jurassicmayms did sympathize with the older sister noting that the bride isn't wrong for wanting her wedding "to go a certain way," but she should "consider the needs of the newborn child." "Twenty minutes is actually a really long time for newborns who are sometimes not even awake for 40 minutes at a time," the Redditor wrote. "A large part of their awake time is in feeding, which if your sister chooses to breastfeed may only be done by her at that point. In addition to that, general newborn separation anxiety is a thing."

And u/probably_needs_help asked the OP why she would ask a woman "fresh from cracking out a human to do the whole wedding thing," noting that their baby was always held and fed when he wanted, because that's "just how newborns work," so the older sister is "simply being a mother." At the same time, they noted that she "also seems like she wants to cause trouble as well. We had jokes about objections. But never from someone who had small kids. Or around small kids. Because they don't always get a joke."

Others acknowledged that the matron of honor's objection remarks aren't funny at all. u/RadioSupply said, "Threatening to object to a wedding is no joke," then summed it up for the OP, writing, "If you don't want her making the day all about her, let her know that you respect her commitment to having a newborn and that you're relieving her of duty out of love and care for your niece or nephew. If she protests, you'll know it was all about her, and you've dodged a bullet."

Given the pandemic and her sister's behavior, this OP was already set to be more stressed than a typical bride-to-be. Here's hoping she's able to set healthy boundaries in order to move past this unnerving situation and have a memorable day.

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