Mom Says She Brings All 5 Kids to Birthday Parties Even if They Weren't Invited and People Have Feelings About It

Jeena Wilder, a 32-year-old mom of five, got tongues wagging with her take on kids' birthday parties.

Every now and then, a parent's stance on a seemingly innocuous topic sets the internet ablaze. This week, that parent is Jeena Wilder, 32, a mom of five, whose TikTok about kids' parties blew up. In the clip, Wilder shares what happens when one of her kids gets invited to an event: "You invite one child, you get all of us."

The TikTok then shows Jeena and all of her kids — who range in age between 4 months and 9 years old — and her husband dancing merrily in a line behind her. "Don't worry, we bring awesome gifts," the proud mom adds at the end.

The video quickly went viral, totaling over a million views on TikTok and Twitter and bringing in a range of comments.

A few were positive. "You're now invited to all my birthday parties. Nobody ever comes so it would be nice to have all of y'all," one TikTok user noted.

Others took issue with the mom's stance. "As the girl whose parents always made me bring my brother along, the siblings deserve to have their own unique experiences," one commenter pointed out.

Another wrote, "As a mom to an introvert child with anxiety, having other kids she didn't invite would have ruined it for her."

And several felt like it was a financial issue. "If I have a party for my child, then I have a budget and decide how many friends can be invited," one follower noted.

An image of a girl wearing a party hat at home.
Getty Images.

In response to commenters who aren't on board with her approach to parties, Wilder told BuzzFeed, "My husband works Monday through Saturday, [and] in the summer, he has even longer hours, so I barely see him. Most days, it's just me and the kiddos. I'm not okay with dropping my kids off at a birthday party solo. So, my solution is: I always ask beforehand if I can bring siblings to the party and always pay for the ones that weren't invited if the party is at an event place."

She elaborated, "I never pressure parents or feel entitled to take my family to children's birthday parties. But for me, I hate the idea of just dropping my kids off somewhere and picking them up hours later, but I also hate the idea of a child not having anyone show up to their birthday party. When my kids are older and I feel like they can understand what to do to keep themselves safe, I will feel comfortable with dropping them off at parties and picking them up later, but at this young age, it's not happening."

Wilder, who grew up in a traditional Haitian household, also attributes her take to how her parents and family members handled social occasions. "You have a baby shower? The whole family goes. You have a graduation party? The whole family goes. You have a birthday party? The whole family goes," she explained. "Haitian are very family-oriented, so we just do things as a family."

The bottom-line for the mom of five? "It's better to ask than to not ask," she told BuzzFeed. After all, the parents might be OK with it—or not. But she'd rather see if they can get on the same page than compromise her values and comfort level. And no matter where you stand on this debate, the desire to hold true to that is something any parent can relate to.

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