Bride Asks If She's Wrong for Kicking Guest Out of Wedding After Kid Cried During Vows
After the bride's tired nephew interrupted her vows, she asked her sister to leave the reception. She shared her story on Reddit and readers had a lot to say.
Every bride and groom have a certain vision for their wedding day, and for one newlywed on Reddit, writing under the handle r/Adorinina, the ideal ceremony and reception would have been childfree. "I like kids, just not at my wedding," she wrote.
While "most people were fine" with the bride's request, and the wedding was announced a year in advance so people could find accommodations, the original poster (OP) was frustrated to learn that her sister, who also happened to be one of her bridesmaids, couldn't find child care for her 2- and 5-year-old boys. "She asked for them to be allowed at the wedding," wrote the OP. "I felt pressured, but she begged for them to come. I told her as long as they behaved and her husband kept an eye on them."
But on the big day, the 2-year-old "began to act up during the vows." "My husband and I wrote our own, and about halfway through mine, he begins to cry and fuss," wrote r/Adorinina. Her brother-in-law grabbed his son and "very awkwardly made his way out."
"I had to restart my vows twice due to the disruption, and I was already so nervous," recalled the OP. And because the venue was outside, she said they could hear her nephew "fussing for a while."
Fast-forward to following the ceremony, and the bride was upset that her sister "didn't even say anything, no apology, nada." "After the first dances, she finally came up and was like, 'Haha, sorry about [nephew], it was nap time! He's settled now,'" wrote the OP. "It was such a non-apology, and I was so upset."
The Redditor said she told her sister that she didn't like "how dismissive" she was of her wedding and how she broke her own rule to accommodate her family, and she didn't seem to care. "She said she was sorry again, but I was blowing things out of proportion and how it wasn't as big of a disruption as I was making it out to be," recalled r/Adorinina. "I was just boiling at this point and asked her to please go, I didn't want her there anymore."
Since then, the OP said she hasn't spoken to her sister and her family "seems to think" she's a bridezilla. Ultimately, she clarified that she's not mad at her nephew but at herself for breaking her childfree rule and for her sister, especially after her "non-apology."
The OP then turned it over to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong.
Some were on her side like r/CZT1991 who said that the OP's sister was wrong for bringing her kids and making the bride feel pressured when she had already set boundaries and preferences for this exact situation. "She proceeds to give a pathetic attempt at an apology to save face but seems to be vaguely gaslighting you in the process, which is why I guess you ended up asking her to leave, because who does that on a day like that? At least fake through an apology and accept responsibility," wrote the Redditor.
But others had different views. r/Islanderrufus said the bride was an ass**, not for wanting a childfree wedding, but for not telling her sister that she couldn't come with her kids. They added, "What is it with people putting THIS much importance on ONE event?? There's always something that doesn't go as planned. Your marriage isn't going to succeed or fail based on waiting a minute before saying your vows."
r/iLaraJane agreed, writing, "The deed was done and kicking her out afterwards because you didn't like her apology was petty and mean."
Several people voted that everyone involved was at fault. r/increbelle pointed out, "You sister [sucks] for putting that last minute inconvenience on you. You made it clear what you wanted for your day and held everyone else to that standard, except for her. I'm giving you subtle ass**** vibes for going back on your own rule, then getting upset that it backfired, probably exactly how you imagined it would, with young kids disturbing the peace."
r/Original_Adventurous summed it up: "At the end of the day, you didn't want kids at your wedding, but you conceded, and I think you're more mad at yourself than sister and are finding tiny things she did for a reason to be mad while skirting around the actual issue. You didn't want kids there but you gave her permission, so it's either not anyone's fault or everyone sucks."
It seems the OP couldn't agree more, chiming in at another point in the thread, "I have a lot of trouble saying no. It keeps biting me on the butt."
Here's hoping this icky situation results in a lesson learned—and that the OP makes amends with her sister sooner rather than later.