12 'Food Crimes' Kids Commit

Someone call the manners police! Chances are your kid has committed at least a few of these mealtime misdemeanors.
Photo by Kana Okada

Loafing — Refusing to touch a sandwich until the crusts are removed

Stalking — Munching only the tippy tops of broccoli spears, creating a logjam of stalks on her plate

Snacketeering — Demanding Skittles in return for behaving at his sister's piano recital

Patty Larceny — Eating the burger, but not the lettuce, tomato, or multigrain bun that would "healthy up" dinner

Batter-y — Licking the cookie-dough spoon before you're done using it and then apologetically putting the spitty utensil back in the bowl

As-salt — Dumping half the salt in the shaker onto her rice, then complaining that it's inedible

Embezzlemint  — Plunging a greedy hand into the candy dish on the counter at the local diner and walking out with ten customers' worth of breath fresheners

Cereal killing — Digging through every box of cereal in the house and removing all the marshmallow bits and prizes, dooming the family to weeks of dull flakes for breakfast

Saucetitution — Cheapening a good steak by dipping it in ketchup before consumption

Pie-racy  — Digging out a disproportionate share of the filling from Grandma's apple pie, leaving a tin of collapsed crust for everyone else

Class "See" Felony — Shouting "Train wreck!" while chewing, then opening his mouth wide to display its contents

Dessertion — Claiming to be full when the entrée is served -- and mysteriously hungry when the ice cream comes out

Parents Magazine


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