10 Types of Parents That Teachers Secretly Hate
My favorite back-to-school ritual as a first-grade teacher is to tenderly place name tags on each of my new student's desks. I think about each child, how I will impact their life, and how they will impact mine over the coming year. It is the time of year where I am almost giddy with anticipation. While I am thrilled to meet my new students, I am equally nervous about meeting their parents. I am not alone in this sentiment. Teachers I know consistently list students as the best part of teaching and their parents as the worst part of teaching.
Don't get me wrong. The vast majority of the parents in my class are fantastic, but a few archetype parents always show up on my roster every year and secretly make me dream of summer before the year even begins. Allow me to introduce the top 10 parent types that every teacher secretly hates:
1. The Special Snowflake Parent
Yes, your child is special, but so is every other student in my class. No, your child is not special enough that they don't have to do their homework, be on time or follow classroom procedures. I get it. I am a parent, too. My kids are my world, but parents have to be grounded enough to accept that the rules apply to all children, even theirs. These are the same parents who are convinced that their little precious can do no wrong—ever.
2. The Magic Bullet Parent
All parents want their children to do better in school, but this parent wants higher grades and improved reading levels without needing to do any extra work. While I am explaining the need for reading together at night, he is still looking for the quick fix or any other solution where he doesn't have to be involved.
3. The Overhead Parent
It's a normal, after-school day, but instead of grading papers, I have been summoned to the principal's office. I am racking my brain to think of why—I know I turned in my three-week reports—and then it hits me. I'm a victim of the Overhead Parent. This parent has a problem with something that has happened in my classroom, but she skips the step of talking to me and goes straight to my boss. Not only am I sheepish at being sent to the principal's office, but I am frustrated that a conversation between the two of us wasn't the first course of action.
4. The Hovering Parent
Is this parent a clone or has she just perfected the art of teleporting? She is everywhere, hanging at the back of the classroom long after the other parents have gone about their day. These parents never seem to be able to give their kids the space to tie their own shoes, manage their materials or make a few mistakes.
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5. The Ghost Parent
This parent's name is on the roster, but does he really exist? This parent has never actually been seen, and it makes me a little nervous because I know connected parents make successful students. Again, I understand what it is like to be a working parent, but I wish he would take an opportunity to touch base by phone or at parent's night.
6. The No-Boundaries Parent
If I get a text message at 11 p.m., I don't even have to check who it is. I know it's the No-Boundaries Parent "just checking" on something for the next day. Every time I check my email, I have a message—or six—from this parent. These aren't short notes; they are more like epics. If I am rushing off to the bathroom during my five-minute break or scarfing down my lunch during my 30-minute lunch time, I can count on this parent to find me to talk. It's not just the volume of their contact; it's the timing.
- RELATED: What Is Helicopter Parenting?
7. The Competing Custody Parents
This pair of parents is a dynamic duo of disaster, where they share custody but fight over everything else. They seem to be in a race to see how they can make themselves look the best while making the other look the worst. They're never on the same page, and it's obvious that communication about what is happening at school is falling flat. In this race, the child is always the loser.
8. The Boss Parent
This parent brings a business sense to the classroom, and he wants to make sure I know that my place in the hierarchy is somewhere below him. He has no problem letting me know that he is in charge and I am punching my card on his company clock. This parent sees me not as a partner, but as an employee. It's just a matter of time before he says "I pay taxes, so I am your boss."
9. The Teacher-Hater Parent
I'm not sure what happened in the past to make this parent hate teachers, but the hatred is real. This parent believes that this is a fall-back job or that I only took it because I get the summers off. Or worse, she thinks that I have it in for her student and that I spend time creating ways to make them suffer. Whatever the reason, it's clear that the parent is convinced it is my fault and the fault of all the others like me.
10. The All Drama Parent
The MO of this parent is to take a minor school incident, blow it out of proportion, and repeat as often as necessary until she gets her way. For variety, sometimes there are tears and sometimes there is yelling, but there is always drama. It's not over until the school board is involved and every single parent on the playground has heard about the injustice.
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Comments (29)
This is precisely why I don't feel like my child with special needs is safe in school. This type of sentiment seems to run rampant among teachers. Parents are all wrong and teachers do no wrong. Not sure why teachers think they're not deserving of constructive criticism when nearly every other employed person in any other industry is allowed to be criticized.
Read MoreSo which parent are you then? Lol! Because you seem mighty triggered.
The kind of teacher I hate: the kind that comes to an IEP meeting with a predetermined plan and gives absolutely no feedback on the points that I don't agree on. The type that makes the decision she has with her classroom aids into "an IEP team decision". The type says "We'll, I'm not saying he can and I'm not saying he can't" (exact words by the way), and refuses to give a re-evaluation in accordance with the IDEA so we can determine my child's present level of performance. The list goes on and I have filed a student complaint with the state's Office of Special Education over the re-evaluation (last one was 5 years ago). This school expects no accountability. Rant over, sorry.
Read MoreIs there a parent you don’t hate?
Read MoreWow! This article hit a lot of nerves.
Read MoreAre these comments serious? I guess you guys all make the hate list then ha! Except....the parent who said that their child was lost. What happened?? I'm assuming the "parent" that chastised this parent PERSONALLY knows this situation?? And if so, why would you publicly make yourself look bad. Sheesh you guys are petty.
Read MoreWho is above personal criticism?? I guess we are all perfect?? This list is very helpful. Although the word "hate" is a bit extreme. Perhaps at the end, there could have been tips on good communication between the school trinity (Teacher, Parent and student).
OH! This perfectly describes so many parents. I thoroughly enjoy the short names for them.
And as for the other comments, I've lost respect for them. Bashing teachers is not fair, is not right, is not even remotely called for. Try the job first BEFORE you judge. It's never been an easy job, and it's become downright impossible in the past few years because of parents like this. And commentators like these.
Read MoreI expected an outpouring 'ayes' of sympathy for teachers from this article but so far not happening. Still early days yet.
Read MoreFrom reading this article, I'm just concerned that labelling parents equates to labelling students. And secretly hating on parents equates to sometimes not so secretly hating on students. When does one find the time as a teacher to be hating on parents anyway. Would be good to see an article on types of people who should not teach children.
Yes, after working in a classroom I’ve definitely seen the resentment towards parents being taken out on kids. Educators constantly complaining about having to care for the children they are literally being paid to care for. Talking bad about the parents to the kids, being short tempered and snappy. Because mom forgot to pack a water bottle? Some teachers need to get over themselves and see that everyone is doing their best and not every kid is being neglected. With all the tension, how can kids be expected to thrive?
Yes, after working in a classroom I’ve definitely seen the resentment towards parents being taken out on kids. Educators constantly complaining about having to care for the children they are literally being paid to care for. Talking bad about the parents to the kids, being short tempered and snappy. Because mom forgot to pack a water bottle? Some teachers need to get over themselves and see that everyone is doing their best and not every kid is being neglected. With all the tension, how can kids be expected to thrive?
Boy, does that reply display a thorough and overwhelming lack of understanding. It's not hating on parents -- but it is hating on parents who treat teachers like this. How sad that you can't understand that.
I’ve lost respect for teachers. Every place I look online they are complaining and whining. If you don’t like dealing with parents switch to high school . Those parents generally aren’t as involved. Or work in an office at the school district or find a new profession . Darn those pesky parents for being human, imperfect and for actually caring enough about about their children that they probably inadvertently bother the teacher.
Read MoreThose parents aren't being condemned for being human, imperfect, or caring. Re-read and try for reading comprehension this time.
The Overhead parent happens when the teacher has developed a system that eliminates talking to the teacher directly. Don't want over head parents.. then don't be a ghost teacher.
Read MoreIn my professional experience, the Overhead parent’s needs are stroked and reinforced by the Parents Are Always Right principal. In turn, instead of hearing the possible second side of the story, Overhead parents ghosts teacher and goes right to Parents Are Always Right principal to get their way immediately, demoralizing said teacher. I have personally had to ask my one and only Parents Are Always Right principal to send parents to me first before contacting him. And no, they did not try reaching out to me first - if anything, I’m an “overcommunicater” of information. It’s all learned behavior, only thing I can do is to minimize my own reaction and try to not let it bother me.
In my professional experience, the Overhead parent’s needs are stroked and reinforced by the Parents Are Always Right principal. In turn, instead of hearing the possible second side of the story, Overhead parents ghosts teacher and goes right to Parents Are Always Right principal to get their way immediately, demoralizing said teacher. I have personally had to ask my one and only Parents Are Always Right principal to send parents to me first before contacting him. And no, they did not try reaching out to me first - if anything, I’m an “overcommunicater” of information. It’s all learned behavior, only thing I can do is to minimize my own reaction and try to not let it bother me.
Let me tell you the type of teachers that parents hate. I hate the teacher who on the first day of school let my son vanish and did nothing about it. He was missing for a half hour in a big city. Imagine then having to have him go back to the school after he was found and I had him home for two weeks and the same teacher is assigned to him. A loud and obnoxious high strung idiotic teacher that I just can't vibe with after she refused to take responsibility for my son's disappearance. As far as I am concerned, if you can't stand most of the parents then you need a new career. Eat that
Read MoreShe didn't 'let' your kid vanish. He took off. First day is confusing, she doesn't know the kids, and with your attitude, no wonder she couldn't vibe with you.
Ha! So basically, all parents. Now ask parents what types of teachers they can't stand.
Read MoreExactly! This works both ways!
I made an account just to comment on what an absolutely volatile, judge mental and miserable person this Jessica Bowers must be as a teacher. I’m disgusted by this list and it actually reinforces all the negative thoughts I have about teachers and my sons education. Maybe she should open a daycare so she can watch kids and not have to “deal” with such horribly concerned parents. Also why is she giving out her cell #???
Read MoreI am thankful for the many great educators who I've had in my life.I believe these are our buildings and we pay for them.When paying the Piper make sure he's playing your song.Teachers should never undermine the parents.
Read MoreWow. I'm a teacher and a parent of three and this article is embarrassing knowing a fellow teacher wrote it (perhaps this teacher is not also a parent?). Is there any parent you DO approve of? What kind of parent did you not cover here? This is so negative and I can't see anything but the closed-mindedness of the author. This is disappointing. Parents, keep loving your kids and standing up for them - being involved (no matter what that may look like) is appreciated more than staying silent or being afraid to speak up.
Read MoreI have read all of the comments and am a mix of emotions. I come from a family of teachers, siblings, grandparents etc. I have a true appreciation for anyone choosing teaching as a profession... and YES, it IS a profession. Not a fall back or easy degree. While there are some in the teaching profession that should not be and are an embarrassment... there are those in EVERY profession that should not be. I see the middle of the road. I have three children and they have had a variety of teachers. Some I liked VERY MUCH, and some NOT at ALL. I give them all the same opportunity before I judge too harshly. My all-time favorite teacher was my first daughters Kinder teacher, she was literally a retired army drill sergeant. I kid you not, a kindergarten Drill Sergeant. I immediately judged her... Not the soft Milk and cookies teacher I had as a kid. I pushed my way in, she pushed me out... I tried to hover, she pushed back. What I realized after a month was she had remarkable control of her class, they were organized, they learned the rules, followed procedures, and knew consequences (turning their card over as discipline). I was worried she would hinder my little sweet baby's growth. I thought she would be afraid to go to school, I thought this drill sergeant would break my little girls spirit. What I learned was, my daughter who was afraid to start school, now begged to go on Saturdays. She loved her teacher so much she drew her into all of her stories and pictures. She was not broken at all, she was "taught"! I have written numerous letters of recommendation and appreciation for this teacher. She follows us today on facebook, even though my kindergartener is now a senior in high school. Before we judge, lets give it a moment to see if maybe someone else's style which may be very different from our own...is not necessarily bad. This goes for both teachers and parents. That same teacher, now tells me she rolled her eyes so far back in her head when she saw me on the first day because she wasn't sure if I was Spiderman always clinging to the outskirts of the classroom to sneak a peak at what was happening . By the end of the school year, we became great friends, as unlikely as I would have guessed in the beginning. Please give everyone a chance and learn that we can all learn from one another.
Read MoreI have read all of the comments and am a mix of emotions. I come from a family of teachers, siblings, grandparents etc. I have a true appreciation for anyone choosing teaching as a profession... and YES, it IS a profession. Not a fall back or easy degree. While there are some in the teaching profession that should not be and are an embarrassment... there are those in EVERY profession that should not be. I see the middle of the road. I have three children and they have had a variety of teachers. Some I liked VERY MUCH, and some NOT at ALL. I give them all the same opportunity before I judge too harshly. My all-time favorite teacher was my first daughters Kinder teacher, she was literally a retired army drill sergeant. I kid you not, a kindergarten Drill Sergeant. I immediately judged her... Not the soft Milk and cookies teacher I had as a kid. I pushed my way in, she pushed me out... I tried to hover, she pushed back. What I realized after a month was she had remarkable control of her class, they were organized, they learned the rules, followed procedures, and knew consequences (turning their card over as discipline). I was worried she would hinder my little sweet baby's growth. I thought she would be afraid to go to school, I thought this drill sergeant would break my little girls spirit. What I learned was, my daughter who was afraid to start school, now begged to go on Saturdays. She loved her teacher so much she drew her into all of her stories and pictures. She was not broken at all, she was "taught"! I have written numerous letters of recommendation and appreciation for this teacher. She follows us today on facebook, even though my kindergartener is now a senior in high school. Before we judge, lets give it a moment to see if maybe someone else's style which may be very different from our own...is not necessarily bad. This goes for both teachers and parents. That same teacher, now tells me she rolled her eyes so far back in her head when she saw me on the first day because she wasn't sure if I was Spiderman always clinging to the outskirts of the classroom to sneak a peak at what was happening . By the end of the school year, we became great friends, as unlikely as I would have guessed in the beginning. Please give everyone a chance and learn that we can all learn from one another.
Read MoreAs a teacher, I know there are some teachers who are bad. I agree that they shouldn't teach. But these days SO many kids AND their parents are ridiculously entitled and the inmates are running the asylum. Now parents want teachers to do no spanking, no timeouts, no suspensions...only positive reinforcement, and the result is a horde of nasty, insolent kids enabled by their equally nasty, insolent parents. Kids were WHUPPED at home AND at school back in the day and they were SO much better than they are now. Parents actually PARENTED back in the day, too. You think we should work longer than a 9 hour day? Then freaking PAY us a salary worth more than 9 hours a day. Ridiculous that for all the grading, planning, conferences, paperwork, buying classroom supplies, few bathroom breaks, and other BS we have to do outside working hours, our REAL pay rate is often just slightly more than a fast food worker. THAT's why we get a long summer vacation! Because NOBODY can do this job for a whole year. Don't believe me? Put your money where your mouth is and try just subbing for a few months and see how you like it. Nobody even wants to sub because it sucks so much. And if you think teaching is so easy with great benefits, then why is there a shortage of 200,000 teachers in this country? Yeah, that's what I thought...
Read MoreOh bravo!!! I’m a middle school teacher who adores her students - it’s definitely the parents who suck the joy out of teaching. These are exactly the 10 types of parents who make my job difficult and unpleasant. It’s not the student who’s the issue - it’s the parents! Shame on you if you fall into one of these categories and have the audacity to take umbrage. Let the teachers do what they do best and look in the mirror to see what kind of parent you are. And btw - your child has the exact same study habits in school as during remote learning - so quit blaming the teachers.
Read MoreWow, that is one of the most negative articles I’ve ever seen on parents mag. I think teaching is one of the hardest and most important (if not the most important) job in the world but I literally felt less excited about sending my kid to school this morning after reading that.
Read MoreWOW Can parents do anything right according to you? What I hate? The teacher who is never wrong. The teacher who only teaches to the stars of the class. The teacher who thinks that he/she is a professional, but wants a 9 hour day. The teacher who clearly has favorites. The teacher who has no tolerance for kids who may be different,because they aren’t easy to teach. The teacher who is intolerant of the child because he doesn’t like the parent. The teacher who compares kids in the classroom verbally, or worse, compares kids to their siblings in front of the class. I’ve experienced all of these. Maybe we all need to communicate better.
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