We asked kids for their best Valentine's Day jokes, and they didn't disappoint. Steal one (or all!) of these cute Valentine's puns, quips, and gags to guarantee a giggle this February 14.

By Fiona Tapp
December 23, 2020
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An image of two children laughing with their mother.
Credit: Sweenshots & Shaymone /Stocksy.

February 14 falls right in the middle of winter when we all need a little cheering up. And what better way to lift everyone's spirits than with a few lovey-dovey jokes? This Valentine's Day, along with a card and a sweet treat, pop one of these hand-written jokes into your kid's lunchbox to capture your little cupid's heart. Or if you're celebrating at home, write out a a handful of your favorites and hide them around the house for your family to find all week long.

  1. Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? "No, they had an apple!" —Maisie, 8
  2. What did the blueberry say on Valentine's Day? "I love you berry much!" —Savannah, 9
  3. Knock, knock. Who's there? Peas. Peas who? "Peas be my Valentine!" —Thomas, 9
  4. What do you call a small Valentine? “A Valen-tiny." —Lewis, 8
  5. What did the lightbulb say to his girlfriend? "I love you a whole watt!" —Zayed, 11
  6. Where did the hamburger take his date? “To the meatball!" —Lakeisha, 9
  7. What do pickles in love say? "I love you a great dill!" —Becky, 8
  8. Knock, knock. Who's there? Arthur. Arthur who? "Arthur any chocolates left for me?" —Suzie, 5
  9. "You should be put in jail because you stole my heart!" —Sammie, 7
  10. Knock, knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who? "Olive you!" —Ben, 4
  11. "If you were a triangle you'd be acute one!" —Zayed, 11
  12. What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine's Day? "You're one in a melon!" —Marie, 13
  13. What's the perfect thing to say to a coffee-lover on Valentine's Day? "Words cannot espresso what you mean to me." —Deena, 5
  14. Do you have a date for Valentine's day? "Yes, February 14th!" —Claire, 7
  15. What did the ghost say to his girlfriend? "You look so boo-tiful!" —Tanya, 9
  16. Knock, knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? "Frank you for being my friend!" —Simon, 11
  17. What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? "Somebunny loves you!" —Hudson, 6.5
  18. Did you hear about the porcupine who lost his glasses? "He fell in love with a pincushion!" —Victoria, 12
  19. What did the paper clip say to the magnet? "I find you very attractive!" —Charlie, 7
  20. Why did the boy put candy under his pillow? "Because he wanted sweet dreams!" —Asham, 7
  21. What did one volcano say to the other? "I lava you!" —Becky, 8