Sometimes Mother's Day Doesn't Feel Like It's Actually for Moms—So Let's Make Mother's Day Eve Our Own

If you have to pack up the diaper bag and head to brunch with a gift for your mom, your mom's mom, and your partner's mom in hand, then the holiday isn't really about you. The hosts of Band of Mothers podcast have a better idea: celebrate yourself the night before.

An image of women hanging out together.
Photo: Getty Images.

Let's be really honest about that Sunday in May called "Mother's Day." Perhaps you'll get some flowers or an adorable picture frame made from popsicle sticks that says MOOMY in glitter glue. Your kids will wake you at 6 a.m. by bringing you a banana and a Swedish Fish, calling it breakfast in bed. So cute! Much appreciated! Then, you'll have to get up, shower, switch out your soft pants for hard pants, or put on a dress that used to fit, only to have brunch with your own mother and your partner's mother and step-mother and perhaps your step-mother's mother's mother's mother. You'll have to bring gifts for all of them, because they are mothers too, after all, and if you don't, you'll feel guilty and scared you pissed off one of the mothers. You'll spend the whole day celebrating motherhood wiping noses with a kid in your lap making sure all the mothers are happy because they want to spend Mother's Day with you, when all you really want to do is work in the garden, or let's be honest, just stay in bed for one precious day that's supposed to be for you.

But moms... it's 2021 and you just spent an entire year at stress level one million, in your house with your family trying to navigate a pandemic. If you wipe one more butt, hear "mama" one more time, are asked to buy any more Robux, have to sit through one more 7-year-old's dream description, do one more load of laundry, flush one more unflushed toilet, or pick up one more moldy sippy cup from under the couch, it's possible you may not ever celebrate another holiday. This year has grossly affected our patience, our personal space, and our ability to take our own time out: which is why this Mother's Day 2021 needs a major reno.

Nine years ago, drowning in brand new parenthood, my childhood friend Tracey and I started a yearly celebration of moms for Mother's Day on the evening before. Since Sunday is supposed to be about you but is completely NOT about you, we decided that moms should get to do whatever they want on Saturday night...Mother's Day Eve.

Because we produce an interactive comedy and music show for moms all year long, Mother's Day Eve became a huge special event in our hometown of Denver, CO: a night out with your #Breeder besties at The Pump and Dump Show, followed by a moms-only dance party (I mean… just happy moms dancing HARD to all our personal faves and no dudes.) It's been epic to say the least. For us, just a simple, guilt-free night out with your Band of Mothers where you're NOT in charge of children, celebrating with other moms where you are still asleep by midnight, makes Mother's Day Eve our favorite night of the year.

So I have an idea: Let's all team up to make Mother's Day Eve a national celebration this year. Can we all—as a collective Band of Mothers—declare that 2020 sucked, 2021 isn't much better, and so for ONE NIGHT ONLY, Saturday, May 8th, we are all officially off duty? We can't host Mother's Day Eve in person this year, but let's use virtual streaming as an exercise in motherhood solidarity and put down the sippy cups and diapers for one blissful evening of get-it-off-your-chest laughter, virtual high fives, massive mom love, and most importantly, a really good time, for once, in a pandemic. This Mother's Day Eve, we are making it about us; and the kids, the dogs, the house, the dishes, the partners, and everything freaking else is just gonna have to deal with it.

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Courtesy of Band of Mothers

If there really is such a thing as good vibes and energetic connections, can we gather them all up in one place and virtually bounce them back and forth across the country while we celebrate that we've made it through a really crappy time? Can we demand to let our hair down, lock the door, and laugh our butts off about all the things we have in common? We can! We must! And Mother's Day Eve is our time to do it.

Look, you may already have plans on Sunday which very well may include thoughtful and amazing gifts this year such as:

  • Hand sanitizer with your name on it
  • A verbal promise that you get to pick the movie at a theatre when they open up again
  • Dinner with your own mother
  • A hike in the cold
  • Masked plant shopping
  • Another pair of sweats
  • A floor steamer (an actual gift I received one Mother's Day)
  • Spit up in your mouth

...OR, you can ask for what you really want that won't interfere with obligatory Sunday plans: a night of freedom on Mother's Day Eve with friends near and far. Get dressed up if you want. Buy the expensive champagne, or make a cup of tea and watch in your PJs. Gather with your #BREEDER bubble, or lock yourself in the bathroom and enjoy the show from the tub. We don't care, except that YOU choose what you want to do. You work hard. You're an awesome mom. It's your night and you deserve it.

Join "Band of Mothers" founders Shayna Ferm and Tracey Tee on May 8, 2021, at 9 p.m. EST to watch Mother's Day Eve: Live with The Pump and Dump Show. Tickets start at $19 and are available for purchase here.

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