Figuring out a Halloween costume used to be easy—but then you had kids.
There are so many good things about having kids to celebrate Halloween with—pumpkin patches, babies dressed as garden gnomes, and a free pass for adults to act like kids, just to name a few. But Halloween with kids can be a little more stressful than your pre-kid celebrations. Here's a look at a few of the key differences.
Before Kids: You spend a couple of hours creating one pumpkin shaped like an owl and another featuring a silhouette of falling leaves. The designs are tasteful, like something out of a Martha Stewart magazine.
After Kids: Your kids are excited about carving pumpkins, but they can't use knives or draw anything resembling a face. You abandon any ideas of carving and let your little ones decorate the pumpkins with craft supplies. The resulting pumpkins are covered in googly eyes, pipe cleaners, and Garfield stickers; like something out of Martha Stewart's nightmares.
BK: You pick out a flattering and clever costume to wear to an adults-only Halloween party. It's all ready by October 15.
AK: Your costume is the last thing on your mind since you are trying to get your little ones' costumes sorted out. Every couple of days your kids come up with a different idea for what they want to be: A bat! Marshall from Paw Patrol! A dill pickle! Your house is littered with unopened costume boxes and crumpled papers carrying homemade costume designs.
On October 15 you declare that no changes can be made and your kids decide to dress as Star Wars characters. After getting their costumes figured out, you spend the night of October 30 trying to transform your Radio Flyer wagon into the Millennium Falcon and scouring the barren wasteland of the Target Halloween aisle for a Chewbacca mask you can wear.
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BK: You watch an episode of The Simpson's "Treehouse of Horror" to get in the Halloween spirit. Festive!
AK: You watch the Bubble Guppies' Halloween episode 57 times. On October 20 you say, "Sorry, we can't get that one anymore." But then when you turn on your TV to search for something else, a large image of the episode appears on your screen. "There it is! We still have it!" your kids say. You curse whoever created your TV's visual automatic suggestion feature as you watch the episode another 27 times before Halloween.
BK: You decorate the house with delicate ceramic pumpkins and vases filled with candy corns and candles.
AK: All ceramics and candles need to stay packed away for about the next 10 years, so you have your little monsters create their own decorations. Five minutes into making the Halloween crafts, they are covered in paint and glue and have eaten their weight in candy corn, so you decide to throw in the towel and hang up their half-made creations.
BK: You dine on butternut squash soup and salmon at a hip restaurant and then head to a friend's party and sip an orange-and-black cocktail from a martini glass.
AK: You take your kids trick-or-treating and watch them accumulate a huge pile of candy. You pull the plug at 8:00 and spend another couple hours convincing them to step away from the candy, change out of their costumes, and go to bed. When they are finally asleep, you drink a glass of wine paired with seven mini Snickers bars.
BK: You take the day off of work so you can sleep in late and go to brunch. Over a cappuccino and plate of eggs Benedict, you tell your friends you are kind of sad it won't be Halloween again for another year.
AK: You wake up at the crack of dawn to the sounds of kids who just slept off their sugar comas and want to know where their missing mini Snickers bars are. Apparently they learned how to count overnight. While eating leftover toast crusts dipped in black coffee, you realize you are kind of glad it won't be Halloween again for another year.