From knock knock jokes to corny puns, these funny Halloween jokes for kids had our panel of little ghosts and ghouls laughing the hardest.

By Fiona Tapp
July 30, 2020
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Spooky is expected when it comes to Halloween fun, but if you're entertaining anyone under the age of ten, silly is just as important. To help get everyone in the spirit, we rounded-up the funniest Halloween one-liners and tested them out on real kids. These are the cute and oh-so corny jokes that had them laughing the most. Use them to turn up the fun before trick-or-treating, around the campfire at a backyard Halloween party, or write them inside cards to share with friends at school on October 31.

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  1. Why wouldn't the skeleton cross the road? "Because he was gutless!" —Hudson, age 6.5
  2. For Dracula's a jolly good fellow, his fangs are furry and yellow! (Sang to the tune of "He's a Jolly Good Fellow")
  3. Where do celebrities go on Halloween? "Mali- boo!" —Savannah, age 9
  4. How do witches keep their hair looking so good? "Lots of scare- spray!" —Thomas, age 9
  5. What's the best way to talk to a vampire? "From very far away!" —Claire, age 7
  6. What's a ghost's favorite ride at the fair? "The roller-ghoster!" —Asham, age 7
  7. What kind of dog does Dracula have? "A bloodhound!" —Zayed, age 11
  8. What do witches always order at hotels? "Broom service!" —Lakeisha, age 9
  9. Where do ghost pirates sail? "Upon the dead sea. You have to say it in a pirate voice!" —Suzie, age 5
  10. Knock knock… Who's there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting to go out trick-or-treating all day!
  11. Why are cemeteries so popular? "Everybody is just dying to get in!" —Becky, age 8
  12. Why was the skeleton so messy? "Because he was such a lazy bones!" —Sammie, age 7
  13. Why are vampires so annoying? "Because they are a real pain in the neck! Get it? A pain in the neck, because they bite your neck!" —Deena, age 5
  14. What's the best dessert to serve at Halloween? "Ice scream!" —Claire, age 7
  15. Where do vampires keep their money? At the blood bank.
  16. Where do zombies live? "Only on dead-end streets." —Simon, age 11
  17. Why was the skeleton so sad? "Because he had no-BODY to love!" —Ben, age 4
  18. What is a little witch's favorite school subject? Spell-ing.
  19. What is a pirate always looking for even though it's right behind him? His booty!
  20. How do you make a witch itch? Take away the "w."
  21. Why are ghosts so bad at lying? "Because you can see right through them!" —Victoria, age 12

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