Do you have sex more or less than most parents? The answer may surprise you, based on results from a shocking new survey comparing couples' expectations of their love life post-kids vs. reality.
As all parents know, your life completely changes once you have a baby. Um yeah, especially in the intimacy department, because now you can't just drop trou whenever and wherever you feel like it. Mainly since it would traumatize your children, but also, you find yourself consumed with a zillion other responsibilities, leaving kissy-kissy time with your partner further down on the list of priorities than you'd like.
Not that you ever could have imagined just how busy your life would become once you were a parent! For many of us, the reality of parenthood versus our expectations looks far different. For instance, I had no idea date nights with my hubby would be about as rare as lunar eclipses.
Now, a new poll out of Britain, as part of Help-Link's Expectation Vs Reality campaign, surveyed 2,000 expectant parents and 2,000 current parents and confirms that what couples think their love lives will look like post-kids is way off from the reality.
First, a look at parents' expectations:
- 92 percent expect to still be happily in love with their partners after becoming parents
- 61 percent expect to have a good love life
- Prospective parents expect date night three times a month, and sex three times a week
Hahaha! Three times a week? Sorry, I just couldn't hold back a torrent of uncontrollable laughter. Again, my apologies.
- Want the latest parenting news? Sign up for our Parents Daily newsletter
And now, take a look at parents' reality, as per the poll:
- 1 in 5 don't have sex
- 31 percent are no longer in love
- More than half of parents say they no longer even have date night
- 18 percent have left the other parent altogether
- 12 percent have their kids in bed with them more than three times a week
- 19 percent say they have sleepless nights more than three times a week due to a crying child
- 56 percent struggle to find a sitter and now, a date night once a month is considered a treat
- 24 percent are not happy with their sex life
Kinda takes the wind out of your sails, huh? But look, the reality is that having your own life after kids is challenging. That's why you absolutely have to put in more effort to stay connected to your partner, emotionally and physically. And if that happens to be while you're hiding in the closet, or in the bathroom, well, then so be it!
Melissa Willets is a writer/blogger and a mom. Find her on Facebook where she chronicles her life momming under the influence. Of coffee.