The Truth About Babymaking Sex

Are you getting frustrated with limited positions and scheduling sex so that it's best for conception? Find out how babymaking sex can be as hot as ever.
Shutterstock

Basal thermometers. Ovulation predictor kits. Cervical mucus. Are you hot yet? If not, you're not alone. While babymaking sex sounds great in theory (no worrying about birth control!), couples who've been there are more likely to describe it as "mechanical," "unromantic," and "a big turnoff."

What's the problem? One husband explains, "When we threw away the condoms, I thought that meant we'd get to have spontaneous, uninhibited sex. Instead it was just the opposite. We had to schedule intercourse to correspond with my wife's ovulation, and limit ourselves to a couple of positions because they offered maximum penetration."

The experience can be equally frustrating for women. "I wanted it to be a beautiful thing—that we loved each other enough to create a baby together," says one mom-to-be. "But the reality was more like some weird science experiment."

Expert Advice

According to psychotherapist Lenore Pomerance, the key to a better sex life is learning to separate fertility from sexuality. "There's a vast difference between sex for pleasure and sex for conception, and couples who recognize this can avoid blaming, feeling guilty, or getting turned off by sex for conception," she says.

Pomerance points out that this separation is most essential when your efforts aren't immediately successful. "I've had couples express fears that they couldn't get pregnant because the sex wasn't good enough, or the love failed—which, of course, has nothing to do with fertility. When partners start feeling flawed or inadequate because they haven't conceived right away, they grow depressed and their sexual feelings are affected."

Trying to conceive doesn't have to feel like work. Here's how to make your sex life more fun.

3 Tips for Better Babymaking Sex

1. Start learning about "reality sex." Pomerance says, "Couples who are disappointed by babymaking sex are often hanging on to a fantasy about what lovemaking is 'supposed' to be—romantic, spontaneous, always satisfying, and not requiring communication or effort to get or stay that way. The reality is that sex can be many, many things. If a couple is connected enough emotionally and physically, they can let go of the fantasy and learn how to make the reality feel good."

2. Keep your sense of humor. Viewed objectively, sex, conception, and becoming a parent are three of the funniest conditions in the human experience. Couples who can laugh at themselves often end up closer, sexually and otherwise, than they were before trying to conceive. One new mom who had to undergo two years of fertility treatments says that laughter is what got her through. "In spite of all our best efforts, we ended up having to conceive by intrauterine insemination. If we hadn't been able to joke about the 'turkey baster,' we'd probably be divorced now instead of expecting our second child."

3. Have hot, spontaneous sex the rest of the month. By definition, you can only have babymaking sex during the three- to five-day window when you're fertile each month. That leaves nearly four weeks for recreational fun! Try to get in some tender lovemaking as well as swinging from the chandelier. And take time to share your feelings about your sexual connection. Couples who start working to keep it healthy now reap big benefits when they become parents.

Have you and your spouse been trying to conceive every chance you can? Like at a wedding? These women can relate. Listen to what their craziest moments were TTC!

Reviewed by Elizabeth Stein, CNM

American Baby

5 Comments

  1. I want to use this opportunity to thank this great holy man called Priest Babaka for what he has done for me and my family. This great man has brought happiness and joy back again to me and my family. Priest Babaka has used his great power to help me bring back my husband within the period of 48 hours and also helped me in getting pregnant with his powerful prayers and after 7 days of applying his herbs.This is more than words can say, at first i didn't believe it but today it is so true and all thanks goes to him. i will advice every one out there that has a similar issue, and also any one who is willing to get his or her lover back and any one who wants to get pregnant quick to contact this wonderful man today and forever remain happy in life. email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com or Facebook at priest.babaka

  2. After trying to get pregnant for four years, 40-year-old I underwent a lot of testing and i was told by the doctor that i only had a 10% chance of getting pregnant naturally. Because of my age and health conditions, the doctor cautioned that their next option, IVF, might not work the first time either.

    “I only had 1 fallopian tube” And only one ovary working. My FSH (egg quality) was borderline menopausal. I had a Thyroid problem. I had a lot against me.”

    I and My husband decided to do some personal research and stumbled upon Natural Fertility Info of Iya Hindi herbal product.And i was encouraged by discovering natural alternatives OF IYA HINDI HERBAL. “I started to take the multivitamins, the smoothies, the greens, bee pollen -- and kid me not, I was pregnant 2 weeks after.”

    “The Reproductive Endocrinologist could not believe it. He is recommending these products to his patients now. My co-worker also had issues getting pregnant; she tried for 2 years. Then she also took the same fertility products and she is now 3 weeks pregnant.”Read more natural fertility success stories here.

    Contact him for your own testimony on: hindinative@yahoo.com .Whats App number +19145295224. for more info Visit his web site ( http://iyahindirootandherbs.website./)

  3. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby now for 7 months with no luck. We went through all the test and Doctors appointments and still nothing. I found IYA HINDI for Women on the internet and consulted a few friends on which would be the best way to go. I choose IYA HINDI product and have been using it for 2 weeks and last night I took a test and I am PREGNANT!!! We couldn't be happier. I give all the thanks to IYA Hindi root and herbs God bless.Thanks for creating a product that gives hope to a lot of couples trying to conceive.I highly recommend this for people who have been ttc for a while give it a try! contacts him. (hindinative@yahoo.com ).whats App number(+19145295224.)

  4. Hello everyone out here,

    thank you so much Dr climent Scott finally am pregnant and am having my own baby soon i still cant believe it after 3 years of trying my partner and i almost gave up on till a friend of mine ask me too contact you that you can help us with your Natural MED which my Husband ask us too give it a try and really we took the MED for one month and now am pregnant i really want too thank the God that lead us too you, you really help us am so happy and excited than you once again if you are TTC i will advice you too contact him too he will help you out ...

    Drclimentscott@gmail.com or WhatsApp him via... +2347036879479 thank you.

  5. I myself have dealt with infertility and my tremendous appreciation to Doctor Muna. I went straight to marvelspelltemple@g mail. com after three failed IUIs. I got pregnant on my first Enthusiastic infertility Spell done by Doctor Muna.

    It was over 16 years ago and I can tell not being able to conceive on my time table is still one of the most painful things of my life. I now have three beautiful children and Doctor Muna Infertility Spell have changed a lot over the last 22 years.

    However, I would expect anyone to make their pregnancy announcement about Doctor Muna Infertility Spell with my post, Even my best friends announced their pregnancies to me after fascinating Doctor Muna infertility spell. I can still remember each and everyone of them over the years we were trying to conceived. God has us all on a different journey and while I agree we need to love and be sensitive to one another, I totally disagree that we should ever make someones else’s joy about our pain. I have to chalk all this self focus up to a generational thing. This is my only explanation. I am a follower of Christ and i got to give what belongs to Cesar unto him to helped me conceived. We should weep with one another. If these are good friends of yours they should know about Doctor Muna Enthusiastic Infertility Spell period!! Their Pain should never be about your Joy!


All Topics in How to Get Pregnant


Parents may receive compensation when you click through and purchase from links contained on this website.