How To Support A Friend Through Infertility

The path to becoming a parent isn't always easy. Here's how to help a friend deal with infertility.
Image Source/ Veer

It wasn't until I was pregnant with my first baby that I suddenly became aware of just how many women around me were facing infertility. It was hard to know what to say about my own pregnancy and how to support a friend through her own challenging times because, while we both had babies on the brain, it was with very different emotions. In fact, since one in eight couples in the U.S. needs some form of help conceiving, according to RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, there's a good chance that you might find yourself in a similar situation with one of your BFFs. Here are some tips that may help.

Take the issue seriously.

"Infertility can be an uncomfortable topic, so people often try to minimize the problem when talking to friends with infertility," says Barbara Collura, President and CEO of RESOLVE. Try to avoid making a comment such as "Just relax," as it can suggest that you aren't giving the situation the degree of attention that it deserves. "The woman often feels that she has somehow created this situation, when, in fact, infertility is a disease that affects women and men equally and has many causes," Collura explains.

Don't complain about your own pregnancy.

Your blossoming belly can be a painful sight to a woman who's been unable to conceive, but there are ways that you can make it easier. "The number one rule is: Don't complain about your pregnancy. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to anyone else in your life, but don't put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you," Collura says. Of course, if she specifically asks how your pregnancy is going, or expresses concern because you seem worn out, tell her the truth -- but don't use her as a sounding board for your random pregnancy gripes. Remember: Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you.

Be understanding.

Offering to listen to a friend talking through her struggles can be incredibly meaningful, as can understanding if she needs to pass on a baby shower or other baby-centric events. It can be all too easy to simply keep your distance when things become difficult, but consider how you'd feel if the situation were reversed. Continuing to include these friends in your life will make it much easier to sustain the relationship in the future -- when you might be the one who needs someone to lean on.

Back her up.

"The medical protocol for infertility is between a doctor and a patient, and getting in the middle of your friend's treatment is not a wise decision," Collura says. "However, infertility medical treatments can be stressful, and standing by your friend with emotional support during this time is critical," she explains. The path that your friend chooses to become a parent, whether it's aggressive fertility treatments, surrogacy, or adoption, is her decision to make. "The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards and let them cry on your shoulder," Collura says. Often just knowing they have someone to turn to for comfort can help to make the situation a lot easier.

Copyright © 2013 Meredith Corporation.

1 Comment

  1. After many failed IVF then i almost decided to give up all hopes of getting pregnant, a friend asked me to join any fertility group for any ways to get pregnant, then i choose to join several fertility group in other to get more information with much discussion and different thought from various women, then i heard a women who made mention of using IYA HINDI herbs to get pregnant after having block tubes, immediately i message her concerning what she has said, and how did it work for her, she then explained everything to me and told me to try the herbs that it wil yield good result and she told me to contact the herbal doctor Iya Hindi on his {WhatsApp.+19145295224 }which i did and explain my problem to the doctor after after asking me what was the problem that brought me, then i was recommended a particular herbs, i ordered for it and it was deliverd to me along with the instuction on how to take the herbs, to my greatest surprise after two weeks of taking the herbs and spending some time with my husband because my husband was also tired of me getting pregnant because after years of trying we were about adopting, then i missed my monthly flow, so i told my husband it, we then decided to visit our doctor for pregnancy test which came out positive. now i want to thank the fertility group that i joined and also the woman who introduce me to the Iya Hindi herbal doctor because right now i am 2months pregnant which has never happend before and i am also using this medium to inform those that have any infertility problem should contact the herbal doctor on this website { Call or WhatsApp.+19145295224 }

All Topics in Dealing With Infertility

Parents may receive compensation when you click through and purchase from links contained on this website.