Dad jokes for kids are notoriously corny. But that doesn't mean they aren't funny. We ask the experts to rate the cheesiest dad jokes around when it comes to which ones gave them a giggle.

By Meredith C. Carroll
October 11, 2019
Illustration by Emma Darvick

Because we love dad, we laugh at his jokes (whether it's with him or at him is immaterial). But not every dad joke is created equal, and for this reason, it only seems fair to let the experts—a bunch of kids—rate the ones worth retelling again and again.

We hung out on the playground and pitched dozens of corny dad jokes to let the pros judge tell us which ones were funny and which ones fell a bit flat. From the joke that scored the biggest eye roll to the one that won the loudest laugh, here's how it went.

Why did the math problem look so sad?

Because of all its problems.

Kid Rating: 0 out of 10 stars

What did the police officer say to the belly button?

You're under a vest.

Kid Rating: 1 out of 10 Stars

Why did the coffee go to the police?

It got mugged.

Kid Rating: 2 out of 10 Stars

What did the slow tomato say to the others?

Don't worry; I'll ketchup.

Kid Rating: 3 out of 10 Stars

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

Kid Rating: 3 out of 10 Stars

Why did the coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back.

Kid Rating: 4 out of 10 stars

How do celebrities stay cool?

They have lots of fans.

Kid Rating: 5 out of 10 stars

Why do melons have weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

Kid Rating: 6 out of 10 stars

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod.

Kid Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Kid Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up.

Kid Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Better not spread it.

Kid Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Why don't crabs give to charity?

Because they're shell-fish.

Kid Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing. They just waved.

Kid Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

What kind of cheese can never be yours?

Nacho cheese.

Kid Rating: 15 out of 10 stars

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