Kevin Breel, at age 19, has given a TED talk in which he's painfully honest about living with depression as a teenager, and feeling that stigmas that surround mental health were stopping him from asking for help. More from Today.com.
Like many of the 121 million people worldwide who suffer from depression, Breel said he was leading a double life. In high school, while everyone else saw a happy popular kid and star on the basketball court, deep inside there was a boy tortured by intense pain that kept ratcheting up.
"I'd look at the school," Breel told Geist. "And I would know in my head that, 'I'm about to walk in there and smile, laugh, high-five people, and put on a total front.'"
If you haven't been depressed, there's no way to understand it.
"Real depression isn't being sad when something in your life goes wrong," Breel says. "Real depression is being sad when everything in your life is going right."
"I felt like I couldn't be happy," Breel added.
He believes his depression was triggered by the tragic loss of a best friend coupled with the divorce of his parents, and he turned his feelings of loss and anger inward.
"I started to, in a way, hate myself," he said. "I felt so unhappy and I couldn't explain why or justify why to anyone. So I didn't feel like I could talk about it."
As a teenager he used sports as a way to escape his pain. But his successes, instead of making him feel good, only underscored how bad he felt.
"We had just won a high school basketball championship, and I was leading scorer of the tournament," Breel said. "I was first team all-star, and our team won the championship. I had everything that I had thought of for four years. And I realized that that wasn't going to take away my pain."
See Breel's whole TED talk here: