Just a few of the many reasons it feels like your baby will never, ever just go to sleep.


1. She’s too hot.

2. She’s too cold.

3. It’s too quiet in her room.

4. The white-noise machine is keeping her up.

5. The white-noise machine is set to the wrong noise.

6. The white-noise machine you bought doesn’t have the noise that would actually make her sleep.

7. She is teething.

8. She isn’t teething.

9. Your baby was switched at birth and is actually sleeping great. Who knows why that baby you brought home isn’t sleeping?

10. She is having a “Wonder Week.”

11. She is having a “Wonder how many times I can get my parents to come into my room week.”

12. She ate too much.

13. She didn’t eat enough.

14. She didn’t eat what that woman in the grocery store told you she fed her babies 30 years ago, back when babies never woke up at night.

15. She had a bad dream.

16. She had a good dream and wants to tell you all about it, but she can’t really talk yet.

17. She needs to go to bed earlier.

18. She needs to stay up later.

19. She needs a sleep schedule.

20. She needs to sleep on demand.

21. She needs to sleep on 1,000-thread-count sheets decorated with baby chinchillas.

22. She wants you to play with her.

23. She is glad to finally have a few moments to play alone.

24. She doesn’t think you really cherished every moment during the day.

25. She is getting sick.

26. She is getting sick of you trying to make her sleep all the time at night.

27. She needs her arms swaddled.

28. She wants her arms free.

29. She is trying to figure out what her arms are.

30. There is no real reason. She is just messing with you.

Parents Magazine