Because to moms, percentage ain't nothin' but a number.
Sure, you may have the best intentions at heart—or no agenda at all—but there are some comments moms and dads with bigger-than-average babies just don't want to hear. Because to them, their chunky monkey is perfect just the way he is.
1. Holy moly! He's almost as big as his older sibling! If the "big" baby also happens to be the "little" brother or sister, please don't say this—especially in front of said older sibling. Moms and dads of course can take hearing a comment like this—which, yep, may be true—but to a big brother or sister, it can be heartbreaking! Didn't you hear? When you officially take on the role of older sibling, you automatically become huge. Ginormous! And seriously, what giant wants to hear that their little brother who can barely walk is gaining on them size-wise? Big bro is the big man on campus, remember?
2. Where does he fall percentage-wise? Percentages. Ugh. Is any percentage the "right" one when it comes to kids? Babies are either too small, too big, or "average." And come on, what parent doesn't think their child is above average (in the best way possible)?
3. Isn't your back killing you? To be honest, the only reason we don't want to hear this is because we don't want to be reminded of the pain we're so in from holding our not-so-little babies.
4. Were you (or your partner) big? There's something about hearing this that sounds ever-so-slightly...well, judgey. For parents with larger-than-average kiddos, it's sort of like being on display as someone mentally evaluates both their body and their child's. Doesn't sound very fun, does it?
5. He'll thin out eventually. Here's the thing: While some people may see something "wrong" with a chunky baby, pretty much all parents of big babies can't get enough of their little one's round belly and delicious rolls. In all honesty, they don't want their sweet babes to grow out of their baby fat. What ever will they nibble on then?
6. Does he eat steak for breakfast? So, this is obviously meant as a joke (a joke with a shred of truth to it), but hearing something like this can sting a parent a bit. Why? Because it might make Mom or Dad feel like they're doing something wrong in terms of how they're feeding their baby. Sure, it's a little unreasonable, but isn't that always the case with #MomGuilt?
7. He's probably going to be a football player. For die-hard football fanatics, this may be a compliment, but for moms and dads who get a wee bit nervous at the prospect of their child getting a concussion from ramming into other people on a daily basis, it's not exactly a comforting sentiment.
8. He's huge! Yes, he may be "huge"—as huge as someone under two feet can be—but these bigger-than-average babies are the apples of their parents' eyes. And every mom and dad thinks their child is perfect—and perfectly squishy—just the way she is.