Skip to content

Top Navigation

Parents Parents
  • GETTING PREGNANT
  • PREGNANCY
  • BABY NAMES
  • BABY
  • TODDLER
  • BIG KID
  • FUN
  • HEALTH
  • PARENTING
  • FOOD
  • HOLIDAY
  • News
  • Moms Run the World
  • THE STAY AT HOME GUIDE
  • SHOP
  • OUR MAGAZINES
  • MORE

Profile Menu

Join Now

Account

  • Join Now
  • My Profile
  • Email Preferences
  • Newsletters
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Give a Gift Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Cozi Family Organizer this link opens in a new tab
  • Help
  • Logout
My Account

Account

  • Join Now
  • My Profile
  • Email Preferences
  • Newsletters
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Give a Gift Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Cozi Family Organizer this link opens in a new tab
  • Help
  • Logout
Login
Subscribe
Pin FB

Explore Parents

Parents Parents
  • Explore

    Explore

    • 22 Chore Ideas for Every Type of Kid

      22 Chore Ideas for Every Type of Kid

      Find a chore your kid loves to do, and start a habit of wanting to help out that'll last a lifetime. Read More Next
    • Top 5 Mom Friend Problems—And How to Fix Them

      Top 5 Mom Friend Problems—And How to Fix Them

      Parenting is so much easier with good pals. Learn to overcome friendship hurdles and bond with women who get you. Read More Next
    • How to Sleep Train Toddlers and Big Kids

      How to Sleep Train Toddlers and Big Kids

      I’m a pediatric sleep specialist who has seen it all, and I’m here to tell you that it’s not too late to get your child to (happily) stay in his own bed all night long. Read More Next
  • GETTING PREGNANT

    GETTING PREGNANT

    See All GETTING PREGNANT
    Your Chances of Getting Pregnant Every Day of the Month

    Your Chances of Getting Pregnant Every Day of the Month

    When sex coincides with your most fertile ovulation days, you'll increase your chances of getting pregnant. Get to know each phase of your cycle to make conception faster and easier.
    • Ovulation
    • Reproductive Age
    • Maximizing Your Fertility
    • Pre-Pregnancy Health
    • Trying to Conceive
    • Dealing With Infertility
    • Genetics
  • PREGNANCY

    PREGNANCY

    See All PREGNANCY
    Signs of Approaching Labor: How to Tell Your Baby is Coming Soon

    Signs of Approaching Labor: How to Tell Your Baby is Coming Soon

    Anxiously awaiting your baby’s arrival? Learn to recognize the first signs of labor approaching, which signal that your little one might make an appearance soon.
    • Signs of Pregnancy
    • Pregnancy Week-by-Week
    • Giving Birth
    • Labor & Delivery
    • Pregnancy Symptoms
    • Due Date Calculator
    • Pregnancy Complications
    • Fetal Development
    • Gender Prediction
    • Baby Showers
  • BABY NAMES

    BABY NAMES

    See All BABY NAMES
    These Are the Most Popular Baby Names of 2020

    These Are the Most Popular Baby Names of 2020

    Curious which baby names stole the show this year? From new classics like Noah to tried-and-true faves like Ava, here are the top boy and girl names of the year so far, plus more naming trends to consider.
    • Baby Girl Names
    • Most Popular Names
    • Names by Origin
    • Twin Names
    • Baby Boy Names
    • Names by Religion
    • Celebrity Baby Names
    • Baby Name Quizzes
  • BABY

    BABY

    See All BABY
    How to Decode Your Baby's Cough

    How to Decode Your Baby's Cough

    Caring for a baby with a wet or dry cough? Listen for wheezing, hacking, or barking first, then read on to find out what's normal and when it's time to worry.
    • Newborn Care
    • Crying Baby
    • Health
    • Baby Development
    • Safety
    • Gear
    • Breastfeeding
    • Diapers
    • Sleep Issues
    • Feeding
    • Nursery
  • TODDLER

    TODDLER

    See All TODDLER
    • Preschool Activities
    • Behavior & Discipline
    • Toddler Development
    • Milestones
    • Potty Training
    • Starting School
    • Health
    • Safety
    • Childcare
  • BIG KID

    BIG KID

    See All BIG KID
    How to Deal With Bullies: A Guide for Parents

    How to Deal With Bullies: A Guide for Parents

    Mean kids aren't just a middle-school problem. The trouble has trickled to the youngest grades. Learn how to spot it—and how to protect children of all ages from bullies at school.
    • Education
    • Health
    • Food & Nutrition
    • Bullying & School Problems
    • Child Development
    • Safety
    • Manners & Responsibility
  • FUN

    FUN

    See All FUN
    17 Budget-Friendly Kids’ Birthday Party Ideas

    17 Budget-Friendly Kids’ Birthday Party Ideas

    A fun celebration doesn’t need to cost a pretty penny. Throw a memorable bash with these clever cost-cutting kids’ birthday party ideas.
    • Birthdays
    • Indoor Activities
    • Outdoor Activities
    • Arts & Crafts
    • Printable Coloring Pages
    • Kids' Entertainment
    • Best Toys
    • Holidays
    • Family Vacation Ideas
  • HEALTH

    HEALTH

    See All HEALTH
    All About Coronavirus COVID-19: A Concerned Parent's Guide

    All About Coronavirus COVID-19: A Concerned Parent's Guide

    Here’s everything you need to know about the disease that originated in Wuhan, China.
    • ADD & ADHD
    • Allergies
    • Autism
    • Cold & Flu
    • Coronavirus and COVID-19
    • Cough
    • Down Syndrome
    • Emergency Aid
    • Fever
    • Medication & Vitamins
    • Obesity
    • Rashes
    • Stomach Aches
    • Vaccines
  • PARENTING

    PARENTING

    See All PARENTING
    The Stay at Home Guide for Parents

    The Stay at Home Guide for Parents

    Everything you need to thrive at home as a family.
    • Positive Parenting
    • Parenting Style
    • Celebrity Parents
    • Family Dynamics
    • Divorce
    • Home
    • Adoption
    • Just for Mom
    • Money
    • Toy Recalls
    • Stroller Recalls
  • FOOD

    FOOD

    See All FOOD
    • Family Recipes
    • Baby Food
    • Toddler Finger Food Recipes
    • Hints & Tips
    • Healthy Eating
    • Birthdays
    • Holiday Recipes
    • Quick & Easy Meals
    • Food For Pregnant Women
  • HOLIDAY

    HOLIDAY

    See All HOLIDAY
    19 Mother's Day Gifts Kids Can Make

    19 Mother's Day Gifts Kids Can Make

    Moms love nothing more than a handmade present on Mother's Day. Help the kids make mom feel special with a creative gift from the heart!
    • Christmas
    • New Year's
    • Valentine's Day
    • Easter
    • Mother's Day
    • Memorial Day
    • Father's Day
    • 4th of July
    • Halloween
    • Thanksgiving
    • Hanukkah
  • News
  • Moms Run the World
  • THE STAY AT HOME GUIDE
  • SHOP
  • OUR MAGAZINES

    OUR MAGAZINES

    See All OUR MAGAZINES
    • Parents
    • Parents Latina
    • Ser Padres
  • MORE

    MORE

    • Newsletters
    • Contests
    • #ParentsIRL
    • Adulting
    • First Year Playbook
    • Celebrate Your Way

Profile Menu

Subscribe this link opens in a new tab
Join Now

Account

  • Join Now
  • My Profile
  • Email Preferences
  • Newsletters
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Give a Gift Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Cozi Family Organizer this link opens in a new tab
  • Help
  • Logout
My Account

Account

  • Join Now
  • My Profile
  • Email Preferences
  • Newsletters
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Give a Gift Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Cozi Family Organizer this link opens in a new tab
  • Help
  • Logout
Login
Sweepstakes

Follow Us

LIVE
  1. Home
  2. Babies
  3. Baby Development
  4. Baby Milestones & Behavior
  5. Discipline Tactics For Every Age

Discipline Tactics For Every Age

By Jessica Wohlgemuth
December 20, 2009
Skip gallery slides
Save Pin
Disciplining Kids of Different Ages
Discipline isn't punishment, and there's more than one way to correct your child's behavior--without yelling. Here's a tactic for every age.
Start Slideshow

1 of 7

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Praise the Positive

mother and son laughing
Credit: Fancy Photography/ Veer

Who? Birth and up

Why? Discipline won't work if the only time you focus on your child is when he's acting up. Children crave recognition from their parents, and, although positive attention is ideal, they'll take what they can get--even if that means an angry reaction to the whack they just gave their little brother. Barbara Stefanacci, a mother of two from Clifton, New Jersey, recognizes that her children's tantrums are a cry for attention: "They're close in age and always competing with each other." So how does she handle this rivalry? "I talk to them. If that doesn't work, I give them a huge hug, which usually puts them back in a good mood."

How? Try to "catch" children being good. It's as simple as thanking your son for picking the toy trucks off the floor (never mind that he's the reason they're there in the first place) or for sharing his toys with his sister. It's important to be specific when offering praise. Phrases like "good boy" don't encourage a behavior--they'll make your child think that he (and not his action) is either good or bad, rather than teaching him that sharing, for example, is the practice that makes you proud.

1 of 7

Advertisement
Advertisement

2 of 7

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Create a Diversion

upset toddler
Credit: Kathryn Gamble

Who? 6 to 24 months

Why? The word "no" becomes more common when babies start crawling and can get into things previously out of their reach. While their behavior may be irksome, kids are just indulging their natural curiosity.

How? When you catch your baby reaching for a lamp cord, get her attention by calling her name or making a funny sound. Offer her a more acceptable toy, explaining, "Let's play with these blocks rather than that cord--I wouldn't want the lamp to fall and hurt you." While most children this age aren't able to remember rules, they are easily distracted.

2 of 7

3 of 7

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Disciplining Kids of Different Ages

3 of 7

Advertisement

4 of 7

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Set a Schedule

toddler taking bath
Credit: BananaStock/Jupiter

Who? 6 months and up

Why? Power struggles and meltdowns over bedtime and cleaning up are common with toddlers. With consistent routines, children are more likely to feel they have control over what happens to them, which can help to reduce outbursts.

Although it may be hard to believe when your kid refuses to forgo playing with her new toy and take a bath, children do take comfort in being able to predict, it's bathtime now, which means that bedtime must be coming soon. Routines provide a sense of security, and it's your job as a parent to provide these feelings of safety and love.

How? Routines, and the rules that come with them, vary from household to household, but the trick here is to make sure you set limits you know you'll follow through on, such as a 7 p.m. bedtime or always washing your hands before eating. Otherwise, kids become what Lynn Lott, coauthor of Positive Discipline A-Z, calls parent deaf: When parents give an order, children tune out the instructions because the rules haven't been enforced in the past and therefore probably won't be enforced this time.

4 of 7

5 of 7

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Explain Yourself

child behavior
Credit: Fancy Photography/ Veer

Who? 24 months and up

Why? At this age children are beginning to grasp the difference between right and wrong. By giving your child a reason for your instruction, you're allowing her to understand why one behavior is better than another, which "sets kids up for being able to handle similar decisions on their own in the future," Lott explains.

How? Instead of always telling a child what not to do, explain to her what you'd like her to do, then follow up with specifics. For instance, if you see your daughter starting to scrawl a masterpiece on your wall, resist the urge to yell, "No!" while yanking the crayon out of her hand. Explain that although coloring is a great idea, you shouldn't do it on walls. Let her know that in the future, she needs to do all her coloring on paper.

5 of 7

6 of 7

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Break Up the Action

child in timeout
Credit: Fancy Photography/ Veer

Who? 24 months and up

Why? "Time-outs are a way of breaking the behavior cycle," says T. Berry Brazelton, coauthor of Discipline: The Brazelton Way. They not only allow your child time to calm down, but they offer a minute of relief for you as well.

How? Time-outs are just a break from the tension of the moment, so they shouldn't last more than a couple of minutes, or until the child has calmed down, even if it takes only 30 seconds. Lead him to a chair away from toys. Explain that he needs to stay there until he can calm down. When he's ready to talk, tell him why you think he was misbehaving (e.g., "You were mad because Tommy took your toy"). This will help him recognize and deal with his feelings. Once the air is cleared, offer him a hug so he knows you were unhappy with his behavior, not with him. "This is the time to show your child that he can be in the wrong and still be forgiven, respected, and loved," adds Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution.

6 of 7

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

7 of 7

Save Pin
Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

Tantrum Tip

toddler tantrum
Credit: Kathryn Gamble

Tantrums are a toddler's way of voicing frustration. When Kristine Mancusi, a mother from Wallington, New Jersey, senses a tantrum coming on, her tactic is simple: "I wait a few seconds, take a deep breath, and let my son go with it." Intense emotions are a natural part of life, so allow your child the chance to be angry. Let her know that you're ready to talk once she's calmed down--and do talk to her. You may be happy to get past the fit, but if you discuss the reasons behind the fireworks, you'll help avoid a similar scene in the future.

Copyright &copy 2009 Meredith Corporation.

7 of 7

Replay gallery

Share the Gallery

Pinterest Facebook

Up Next

    Share the Gallery

    Pinterest Facebook
    Trending Videos
    Advertisement
    Skip slide summaries

    Everything in This Slideshow

    Advertisement

    View All

    1 of 7 Praise the Positive
    2 of 7 Create a Diversion
    3 of 7 Disciplining Kids of Different Ages
    4 of 7 Set a Schedule
    5 of 7 Explain Yourself
    6 of 7 Break Up the Action
    7 of 7 Tantrum Tip

    Share options

    Facebook Tweet Mail Email iphone Send Text Message

    Login

    Shop | Parents

    • Diaper Bags
    • Maternity Clothing
    • Prenatal Vitamins
    • Car Seats
    • Breast Pumps
    • Maternity Dresses
    • Baby Shower Gifts
    • Baby Gates
    • Pregnancy Pillows
    • Kids Backpacks
    • Shop More Next

    Parents may receive compensation when you click through and purchase from links contained on this website.

    Parents

    Magazines & More

    Learn More

    • About Us
    • Subscribe this link opens in a new tab
    • Customer Service this link opens in a new tab
    • Cozi Family Organizer this link opens in a new tab
    • Advertise this link opens in a new tab
    • Content Licensing this link opens in a new tab
    • From Our Sponsors this link opens in a new tab
    • Affiliate Program this link opens in a new tab
    • Sitemap

    Connect

    Follow Us
    Subscribe to Our Newsletter
    Other Meredith Sites

    Other Meredith Sites

    • 4 Your Health this link opens in a new tab
    • Allrecipes this link opens in a new tab
    • All People Quilt this link opens in a new tab
    • Better Homes & Gardens this link opens in a new tab
    • Bizrate Insights this link opens in a new tab
    • Bizrate Surveys this link opens in a new tab
    • Cooking Light this link opens in a new tab
    • Daily Paws this link opens in a new tab
    • EatingWell this link opens in a new tab
    • Eat This, Not That this link opens in a new tab
    • Entertainment Weekly this link opens in a new tab
    • Food & Wine this link opens in a new tab
    • Health this link opens in a new tab
    • Hello Giggles this link opens in a new tab
    • Instyle this link opens in a new tab
    • Martha Stewart this link opens in a new tab
    • Midwest Living this link opens in a new tab
    • More this link opens in a new tab
    • MyRecipes this link opens in a new tab
    • MyWedding this link opens in a new tab
    • My Food and Family this link opens in a new tab
    • MyLife this link opens in a new tab
    • Parenting this link opens in a new tab
    • People this link opens in a new tab
    • People en Español this link opens in a new tab
    • Rachael Ray Magazine this link opens in a new tab
    • Real Simple this link opens in a new tab
    • Ser Padres this link opens in a new tab
    • Shape this link opens in a new tab
    • Siempre Mujer this link opens in a new tab
    • Southern Living this link opens in a new tab
    • SwearBy this link opens in a new tab
    • Travel & Leisure this link opens in a new tab
    MeredithParents.com is part of the Parents Network. © Copyright 2021 Meredith Corporation. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policythis link opens in a new tab Terms of Servicethis link opens in a new tab Ad Choicesthis link opens in a new tab California Do Not Sellthis link opens a modal window Web Accessibilitythis link opens in a new tab
    © Copyright . All rights reserved. Printed from https://www.parents.com

    View image

    Discipline Tactics For Every Age
    this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines.