16 Crazy Things We've Heard Our Breast Pumps Say

Things that go pump in the night.
Jamie Grill/Getty Images

There are a lot of things you can call your breast pump: A torture device is one of them, but a communicator? Not too far off, if you ask these Parents readers. You see, when it's 3 a.m., your husband is snoring, the baby is finally sleeping and your boobs are about to leak, it's easy to mistake your pump's monotonous, mechanical sounds for actual words. And when you haven't had an adult conversation in a while, who can blame you for answering back?

Below, some hilariously honest readers divulge the encouraging or taunting phrases their pumps have said to them:

"Every day my pump says something different to me. Sometimes I hear, 'Good MORN-ing, good MORN-ing,' and then the next day the motor of my pump will be singing, 'Sunshine, sunshine.' It's possible that these are mild hallucinations because my first pump is at 4 a.m." — Nakia Green

"I used to hear, 'Pump the milk, pump the milk!'" — Reanna Venishae

"Once I swore I heard it saying, 'Help me. Help me.' Granted I was running on only a couple hours of sleep." — Hilary Leckle

"My pump says, 'Black heart, dark arts.' It's really kinda creepy." — Heidi M. Fanning

"I hear, 'Pump it, pump it, pump it,' on one setting and the other says 'hurry hurry hurry' smile emoticon — Lindsay Lamb

"Mine says, 'Wacko, wacko,' and confirms what I already know about my sleep-deprived state of mind." — Lauren Dittrich

"I hear, 'Keep going, keep going, keep going.'" — Falon Robbins

"Be-the-parent...be-the-parent...be-the-parent..." — Maria Stegner

"'Mooo, moooo!' I absolutely hated the sound—it used to make me stressed just hearing it. I associated it with sitting in the bathroom while furiously answering emails and eating my lunch at work. That is why with the second one I exclusively breastfed for as long as I could. Pumping is just not for me. I give so much credit to all the hard working mamas out there!" — Katchlin Janawsky

"I swear mine says, 'Let's go, let's go!'" — Marie Freisen-Barry

"Mine says, 'Give it. To me. Give it. To me.' Oh, the tricks your mind plays on you when you're sleep deprived!" — Annette Siewert

"This happens to me all the time! It'll say, 'Breast milk, breast milk, breast milk...Pump time, pump time, pump time. It's different every time and it drives me so crazy that I'll cover the pump with a blanket and wear headphones or turn the TV up!" — Krista Van Pelt-Daych

Love it or hate it, if you're pumping breastmilk, you're likely spending a lot of time each day attached to a battery-powered contraption. So what goes through your mind as you sit and listen to that whirring? We asked Parents readers on Facebook to tell us what they really think when they're pumping. 

"Mine says, 'Almost done, almost done, almost done.'" — Stefanie Vance

"'Whip-pour-will...whip-pour-will..whip-pour-will.' I know the pump doesn't sound like the whippourwill bird, but something about the whooshing made me hear the bird's name over and over. Crazee!" — Mindy Walker

"Mine called me 'Mama.'" — Tara Lustberg

"I swear it says, 'Let's pump, let's pump, let's pump!'" — Lauren LaRocca Riccio

Comments

Be the first to comment!


All Topics in Breastfeeding


Parents may receive compensation when you click through and purchase from links contained on this website.