I'll never forget the physical, not to mention mental gymnastics I would perform each and every time I put my middle daughter down to sleep. She had to be held juuust the right way to doze off. Typically, I'd be feeding her a bottle, so then I'd need to ease the nipple out of her lips ever so s-l-o-w-l-y. She'd suck the air for a moment or two—and I'd hold my breath, praying she'd stay asleep so I could do something, anything, other than entertain her for just a little while.
Once I was sure she was passed out, the real challenge began of having to lower her little but somehow iron-heavy body into the crib without waking her. I moved as if under water or in slow motion. If my cadence wasn't right, my little one would stir. Or worse, she'd open her eyes and I'd have to start from square one. This was a fate worse than death when I had to go to the bathroom, or hadn't eaten in 10 hours. So I perfected the slow lower into an art form.
Then came the escape stage. Most of the time, once she was asleep in the crib, backing out of her room wasn't too tricky. But every so often a floor board would creak or my pants would brush together too brusquely. And then, doom.
My experiences with the delicate dance required of parents trying to escape their babies' rooms without waking them had me cracking up over the lengths one South African mama went to complete her own "top secret escape mission."
Caryn Morris had just put her 15-month-old son Brody down in his crib and was lying on the floor of his room, presumably because that was the only way to get him to sleep. Then once he was out, she had to get out. And how she did so was hilariously captured on nanny cam footage and then posted to Facebook by her admiring hubby Tyrone.
"The best thing about having cameras in your house is watching your wife trying to exit the room after putting your son down!! Sometimes you have to use your initiative for your exit!! PS The SA Army are calling me for you to do training on the reverse leopard crawl !!" Morris wrote in his post.
The video of his wife's impressive back slither has been watched 15 million times. Maybe to get tips?
Thankfully Morris got out alive, and without waking baby Brody. Impressive skills, Mama!
Melissa Willets is a writer/blogger and a mom. Find her on Facebook where she chronicles her life momming under the influence. Of coffee.