This Mom's Look Back on the First Year of Motherhood Is So Real It Hurts
She struck a chord by recounting the many things no one tells you about motherhood.
There's a lot no one tells you about motherhood. At times, it's dirty, sweaty, painful, and far from glamorous. Of course, the love you feel for your new baby is unimaginable, too.
U.K.-based mom Gylisa Jayne recently shared a Facebook post that somehow manages to capture all of these sentiments, and more. Indeed, her raw words about what no one tells you about the first year of motherhood have struck quite a chord with readers, and have been shared close to 70,000 times!
"I think midwife appointments should be spent sat in their office, they wheel in a big telly ( like at school ) and you can watch a video of all the bits of motherhood that they left out your Sex Ed classes, your mummy mates' Facebook updates, and everyone else ...!" Jayne jokes at the beginning of her viral post.
"For example - no one told me that it's perfectly fine to admit you didn't 'love' your baby [at first]," she writes, adding, "Its ok. I felt the same way I felt when I saw my placenta in that sick bowl - morbidly interested in what it looked like - but no thanks I don't really fancy a cuddle with it."
Then there's this gem that any woman who has had an episiotomy, or tear during birth, can relate to: "No one told me that stitches in your vag can actually hurt way more than birthing a 7lb baby." Amen!
Jayne goes on to share other things no one tells new moms, including:
- "Breastfeeding DOES F*CKING HURT. "
- "EVERYONE will have an opinion on your baby - how to feed it, how to clothe it, how to name it, how to rock it..."
- "That pregnancy side effects last for ages... so essentially you are pregnant for like two years. Like an elephant. Which is how fat you feel now."
- "That having a baby might make me hate my husband sometimes. That sometimes I really would prefer a cuddle with our baby. That it would feel unfair ALOT. But also, no one told me that seeing him playing/cuddling/looking after our baby would make me want to pop with happiness. And then cross my legs before he suggested another."
- "I would really, honestly NEVER be alone again. This includes shitt*ng, showering and shaving. Especially when they get older and find your shaving your fanny acutely interesting and you pray it doesn't scar them for life...."
The all-too-relatable photo Jayne includes with her posts captures this very moment, and made me LOL, because yeah, that's pretty much my life, except I have three kids, so my shower is even more crowded. I mean, why would I want to shower alone?!?
But then, this hilarious mama says that there's another side to what no one tells you, like that once you are alone, like if you're lucky enough for your kid to nap, you will miss them, desperately. And, all those challenging emotions that come along with new motherhood won't last forever. "It gets better. It gets easier. It will fly past. It will be worth it."
Jayne also adds a piece of advice that I love: "Despite feeling like I couldn't do any of this, that I wouldn't know the first thing about motherhood, actually my instincts would not fail me, and everyone is winging it. Some just make it look easier than others. Admiring someone else's way of doing things shouldn't make me question mine."
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Whew. I needed that. Thanks mama. For all of this. If only more women had the courage to be so honest about motherhood, maybe there wouldn't be so much we don't know going into it!
Melissa Willets is a writer/blogger and a mom. Find her on Facebook where she chronicles her life momming under the influence. Of coffee.