Mom Emily Holdaway shared an emotional post on Facebook recently about the fact that she is feeling all the feels now that her 19-month-old son Ziggy no longer wants to breastfeed.
"From the moment he was born, breastfeeding has been more than just a source of food," she writes in her now-viral post. "It was what he needed when he was upset, in pain, when he was tired. There was nothing boob couldn't fix. As he grew older, we got the inevitable 'when will you stop?', and I would always reply 'when he is ready' never imagining for a minute that 'ready' would be anytime soon. I thought 'ready' was months away, years away."
Then Holdaway got pregnant, and everything slowly started to change.
"As the weeks have passed his need for breastfeeding during the day has lessened," she explains. "He stopped coming to me for cuddle feeds. He stopped asking for it when he hurt himself. By around 19 weeks pregnant, the only time he would breastfeed during the day was when he needed to nap, and even that was taking so much longer than it used to."
The change, Holdaway admits, has rocked her to the core.
"I never expected to have such emotions when it happens, but I do," she says in the post. "I feel rejected. I feel useless. I used to be his world and now his world is expanding. Age and I used to jokingly ask each other 'what the hell will we do when he doesn't boob anymore?'. Well, I guess we better start figuring it out."
Don't worry, Mama—what you are feeling is completely normal. And breastfeeding or not, the bond you share with Ziggy is an unbreakable one that you will have for the rest of your lives.