An Australian mom blogger's ultra-relatable Facebook post about the ups and downs of marriage is going viral, with more than 133,000 reactions and 10,000 shares. And it's easy to see why so many people are responding to the so-true account of life as man and wife post-kids; because, as Constance Hall is brave enough to share, it's not exactly the happily ever after we are lead to believe it will be.
"We found each other coz we made each other laugh. We became friends. We had sex. We stayed because we fell in love. We had a baby because everything was fun," Hall begins her post.
Yes, marriage is all fun and games at first. But then, as she writes, "We struggled because our work load doubled. We had more babies because we loved our first one so much. We got so busy loving our babies we forgot to love each other. Nothing was fun."
Oh, yes. Sounds eerily familiar, as I've soooo been there, as a mom of three.
"We fought because he was going to work and working harder and I was staying home and working harder and neither of us believed the other was working as hard as themselves," Hall continues. "We stopped making each other laugh. We spent less time together, I noticed his trips to the shops taking all day, I felt like he would do anything to get away from me. He argued that, claiming he was just very busy. We competed on who's life was harder. We were no longer friends. We said horrible things to each other, we couldn't believe the words that were coming out of our mouths. We had become each other's enemy. We were defeated."
All of us have been there. In a bad place. But in 10 years of marriage, I've come to realize that for every down, there's an up. As Hall also writes about her marital journey, "We missed each other. We knew, there was only one way back... to remember who we were in the beginning. Who we fell in love with before we let life turn us against each other, people we actually respected. Because it wasn't us that we hated it was outrageous work loads. So we made each other laugh.... We became friends.. we had sex.... And we fell in love again."
You see, that's the thing about marriage. It goes in cycles. The key is to find your way back to the good times. And if you wait, and work at it, and get through the sucky moments, weeks, months... there's so much worth fighting for. So much happiness, so much love just around the corner. Every time.
Still, as Hall intimates in her post, more hard times will come. And then, good times. Then hard times...and so on.
Do you agree with Hall's account of married life with kids?
Melissa Willets is a writer/blogger and a mom. Find her on Facebook where she chronicles her life momming under the influence. Of coffee.