New dad Hank Green just released the eyeroll-worthy stock of dad jokes he's been saving up for years.
You know what the loneliest cheese is? Provolone.
How many sides does a circle have? Two—the outside and the inside.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of boats? Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.
Who doesn't love a good dad joke? Michelle Obama, for one. The First Lady took a playful jab at her husband during the couple's recent Christmas address, lovingly scolding him for subjecting the American people to his not-so-funny jokes over the last eight years.
Like this one: "Thanksgiving is a family holiday as much as a national one," POTUS announced last month during his eighth and final turkey pardon. "So for the past seven years I've established another tradition: embarrassing my daughters with a corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys."
OK, so the whole corny-copias thing is pretty hokey. I'm not gonna lie, though—I'm generally a big fan of dad jokes. And my husband (bless his heart) is a big fan of telling them, even though there's a 50/50 chance each one will elicit a cringe with a side of major eyeroll. Bold man. But while he's got a pretty decent number of puns in his repertoire—What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta—I'm sorry to say he doesn't hold a candle to vlogger and new dad Hank Green, who has just released a video called "41 Dad Jokes in 4 Minutes."
"I'm back and I'm officially a dad, which means I can make a video I've been wanting to make for years but did not feel qualified until this moment," he explains in the intro, before launching into a nonstop stream of groan-inducers.
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"Now that I have a son, you might say I have a dad bod," he begins. "But I'd rather call it a father figure."
Nice one, Hank.
Hollee Actman Becker is a freelance writer, blogger, and mom of two who writes about parenting and pop culture. Check out her website holleeactmanbecker.com for more, and then follow her on Instagram and Twitter.