Jenny Mollen has a rep for being extremely candid about pregnancy and motherhood on social media. And of course fans and followers love her for it, because the actress and comedian has a fantastic way of speaking #momlife truths at an impressive rate. Recently, Mollen's been struggling with getting her 9-week-old Lazlo to take her breast over the bottle, and she got super-honest about the issue on her Instagram Stories yesterday, Tuesday, December 4.
“[As of] this weekend, Laz has decided … one feeding, he’ll breastfeed, and then the next feeding he’s just like, ‘F— that, give me a bottle,’ ” the 38-year-old, who also shares 3½-year-old son Sid with husband Jason Biggs, explained. "This morning, I pumped because he seemed to be not hungry, but then the minute I was done pumping, he was ravenous and starving and drank every ounce of the breast milk I pumped. So, it’s almost like he’s playing me.”
As a result of this feeding roller coaster, Mollen revealed she's feeling "really sad" and "super rejected by" her L.O. “I feel like … he likes his milk like he likes his women: easy, with big nipples,” she mused cheekily. “I don’t know anybody who has bigger nipples than I do right now except a bottle. I’m so pissed. I’m really sad, I’m really f—ing bummed. ... I don’t even think [Sid] had formula until he was 6 months old, but I’ve had to supplement Laz now for the past two weeks. I’m just sad … In my head I thought, ‘Okay, at least I can breastfeed him when I have the milk.’"
She discussed how she thought her newborn must be feeling, based on his feeding habits. “But now he’s kind of coming from this place of, ‘F— you, bitch, why would I ever breastfeed [from] you? I can have bottles whenever I want, on tap, as much as my heart desires, with free-flowing nipples and no drama from you, so what do you think I’m gonna choose?’"
Later in the day, it seemd Mollen's morale was on the mend after formulating a game plan, which she shared with followers. “The doctor told me I should give [Lazlo] size 2 nipples because apparently it’ll be faster for him to drink, but why would I want it to be faster for him to drink? Then he’s really not gonna want anything to do with my boobs," she said. "So no, I’m taking the alternate approach, and the alternate approach is this: I’m gonna make his life with the nipple on the bottle suck, and I’m gonna bring him back to me. I’m making a soup to up my milk supply and to make my milk irresistible to him.”
Mollen decided that she's going to be successful in the long-run. “I’m gonna win him back, you guys — they all come back in the end,” she joked. “That’s my rule of thumb, with men in general. Even if you think they won’t, they will.”
Meanwhile, there's an apparent silver lining of Mollen's uphill breastfeeding battle: just how much her posts reassure other moms struggling with the same challenges that they're not alone. "You have got to be one of the funniest people on this planet," one commenter wrote. "Love watching your posts and thanks for keeping it real!" Preach!