My husband told everybody about my pregnancy without my knowledge and now I miscarried. What do I do?

Q: I found out that I was pregnant at 4 weeks, and my husband was excited. However, I told him that I wanted to wait to tell people. After a couple of days I found out that while he has been at work he has been calling practically everybody that he knows and even people that I don't like and telling them without informing me. I just found out that I miscarried, and since he has told everybody I don't know what to do or say, I feel embarrassed. What should I be upset? What can I do for support?

A: I'm so sorry about your loss. Lots of us have been through it, and I understand about your need for privacy. Hopefully, your hubby was so overcome by excitement that he just had to share the good news - and didn't expect this to happen. Now that he does, ask him to reassure you that he gets why you need privacy in these situations -- and ask him to make it up to you. He can do that by tactfully telling those he blabbed to why he shouldn't have said anything, and to respect your wishes for support. What would feel most helpful to you? Some prefer to be left in peace after a miscarriage, others would like a show of support from others. Decide what would feel best, ask him to make it happen, and try not to feel embarrassed. You didn't do anything wrong, and caring people understand that tough situations sometimes happen in life. Keep the lines of communication open with your hubby, and good luck in your quest to start a family!

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