How do I get my daughter to stop sleeping with her grandparents?

Q: We have a 6 year old daughter and we live with my husband's grandparents. We just recently moved her big-girl bed from our room to her own room. Now that she has her own room, she gets excited about telling people and showing them her own room, but she always wants to sleep with the grandparents and they let her. We keep telling them that she needs to sleep in her own room, the one that she asked for herself, but it just ends up in a big huge fight. What do we do to get this to go our way?

A: It is very easy to get caught up in the power struggle of who is “right” that we often lose sight of what is most important. Consider whether it actually matters if she sleeps in her own room or with her grandparents. If she is getting the sleep that she needs, it may actually be fine. But if she is not getting the sleep that she needs, then you need to sit down with your in-laws and have a calm, open discussion about what everyone believes is best for your daughter. A compromise may be warranted, such as allowing your daughter to sleep with her grandparents as a special weekend activity instead of on school nights.

Answered by Dr. Jodi Mindell