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Discipline Without Spanking

The next time you feel the urge to spank, take a deep breath instead and consider what you want your child to learn.

Fri, 1 Mar 2013|

I'm Dr. Ari Brown. Many of us were spanked as children but that doesn't make it okay. Let's discuss why. You are your child's role model. So if you think about it, using physical force is the last thing you want your child to imitate. For example, spanking your child for hitting or kicking is only telling your child that it is okay to express your frustration by force. You want your child to use his words not his body to express his feelings. In fact, study show that children who are spanked show more aggressive behavior than kids whose parents used non-physical discipline methods. Keep in mind that discipline means to teach. What does spanking teach? It teaches a child to be afraid of his parents. It teaches a child that his parent will hurt him to keep him in line. It doesn't teach the child why the parent has made a rule or limit or how to act appropriately. The best discipline methods teach children that there are natural consequences for poor behaviors. For instance, making a bad choice like running in the street means mom or dad can't trust you to walk without holding your hand. The next time you think about spanking your child and we've all thought about it at times--consider what you want your child to learn from your behavior. Remember, you're the grown up. Don't resort to acting like a child. Take the time to learn some positive discipline methods instead of making a poor parenting choice. If you feel like you're losing your cool, take a step back and take a deep cleansing breath. Here some alternatives. Ignore attention-seeking behaviors. Give attention for good behavior you'd like to see again. Re-direct your child to a more appropriate activity or behavior. Give your child choices. All things you want her to do anyway. Teach consequences that make sense for making a bad choice and use time-out for more serious offenses. Raising kids is the toughest and more satisfying job you'll ever have. I hope these tips help you along the way.