Baby Home

Bringing Baby Home

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-Hi, I'm Dr. Georgia Witkin. -And I'm Kimberly Pauley. -And I'm Kimberly's mother. -And I'm the mother of two boys. -Which makes me GG for Grandma Georgia. -So, welcome to GG and me. -We talked about everything. -Well, the reason I talked my mother about everything is that she's a professor of Psychiatry, Professor of OB/GYN, she's written 10 books on Stress and she's a Fox News contributor. -And Kimberly is a lawyer, a columnist, a college professor and pregnant. -So we're gonna be talking about pregnancy. Please join us. -So we're talking about getting home from the hospital, we'll talk about that first week. First thing, hello. -Hi, my name is Kimberly Pauley and I'm pregnant with my third son. -My name is Susan Krauss and I gave birth to my second son two weeks ago. -And I'm Jenny Vynerib and this is Oliver, he is 3 and a half weeks old. -So, here's the question, the very first time you were pregnant, you're in the hospital, you're getting ready for the first week at home, in your mind what were you preparing for? What did you think that would be like? -I thought it would be very exciting. I thought I would be busy all the time. I thought I would just be in this blissful state with my baby. And it turned out that I was completely overwhelmed. I was completely exhausted. I was completely hormonal. -Yeah. The prolactin drops. -Completely hormonal, cried at everything. -Yeah. -I think it's important that women know that Prolactin, although hormones changed, it doesn't mean you have postpartum, unless it goes on and on but it does mean the moodiness will be there and it's natural, plus you are exhausted. -Yeah, that takes a big toll at the sleep deprivation. I think that the first night in the hospital was bliss, you know, meeting your child and it's just wonderful. I fell in love with her that night. And then you get home and it all hits and-- -What hits? --of being overwhelmed by the smallest things. Everything feels so big, it's the lack of sleep, I think, that really hits you and it's the hormones, I mean, I like to attribute it to the hormones but you have to look at the big picture that hopefully a few weeks down the road its start to become normal. I mean, nothing is normal, everything changes. -So there's hope. -There is hope but you have to adjust to it. -How about all the visitors? -I mean, I actually have sorted of forewarned by a lot of friends of mine, and thankfully I was having kids a little bit later than some of my friends. So, I think that for me, I have been given a pre-accurate, you know, barebones description of what it's gonna be like. So, I, unlike you, didn't have this expectation that it was gonna be sort of this blissful, happy first-week, you know. I think I built it down a little bit. So, I think that I was sort of aware that there was gonna be this vary, like changeable emotion, and moment to moment it was gonna be different and I was really conscious of limiting people visits. People visited me in the hospital which-- -That's what I was gonna say, I think the most important thing is that when you-- their first week, if it's your first baby, that you say to your friends come to the hospital because then you can show them the baby, they're completely safe. You don't even have to have the baby in the room. They can be with all the other babies behind the glass. -Right. -You don't have to breathe in on your new born. -Right. -Some people don't stay for hours. -And people don't stay for hours and we don't even have to get dressed. -So, how about help? How about, you know, asking for-- -Get much help as possible. -It's really was-- -But not people that you-- will distract you and make you feel bad because you're already feeling so overwhelmed. So, people that are gonna bring good things and help you in a positive way. -Right. -If that's someone, I mean, anyone who is willing to help is fine but if someone wants to be in your house and it happens to be someone that you don't want in your house to begin with, you don't really want them the first week at your home. -I remember being so prepared for that birth. I had taken birthing class, I was ready. I had no idea how to sterilize a nipple and no idea-- -But then you have to do it. --how to even change a diaper. I mean, you guys all prepared? -No. -Well, there's somebody more, you know, there's a lot of things that they make it so easy, they almost like make, you know, diaper themselves at this point. Though the diapers are easy and there's this contraption to do this and there's all these products that make it much easier for now. But yeah, I mean, I have never-- I've never even baby sat. My husband has never held a baby, you know. -Yeah. -You know, you'll learn from trial and error also. -Yeah, and I think for some-- to some extent, I mean, I always feel so comfortable when it's my baby but, I mean, you know, with Jenny's baby I would be like 'Oh God, if I drop this baby', I would be more nervous. -Yeah. -When it's your own I think it does come more naturally. -Right. -So did you have someone like show you what to do or did you learn-- how long does it take people to pull the baby's at-- -You get shown what to do but then you make mistakes. Like for the boy, you know, after he actually got me several times, now I know to keep-- take cover better but you'll learn and yeah you just learn. People show you and then you just have to-- but it doesn't matter how many times you've been shown until you do it yourself. It's scary. -A lot of people said to me that they want someone to do everything else and leave them alone with the baby. That it's not that they want someone else to take care the baby that first week, they just want someone else. -To clean the house and do it. I think that's a fair statement. -Yeah. -I mean, if you can just be relieved of all your responsibilities by taking care of the baby-- -Yeah, then you're golden. -That's the best. -But once it's not your first child for, I mean, that-- forget it, that's the hardest part, I think this time. It's just-- -Joggling. --Oh my god, like still taking care of your toddler, however old the other children are. -So what's the one personal advice you'll give to a new mom. -Just don't beat yourself up about things, like try to be good to yourself and realize that, you know, your emotions are gonna change moment to moment, and that's okay. And take, even like 5 minutes for yourself everyday or whatever it is. It's whether it's a shower, I mean, like a hot shower. -That's great. Take some minutes for yourself. -Right. -Just something that-- -Don't beat yourself too a little bit. -Don't take your expectations too high, what you can take on at the beginning. Yeah. -I say the same thing. Absolutely relax and especially if you've older kids, don't expect to get back into the routine within three days with the older kids because a month down the road, which is what happen with me with my second, month down the road I completely fell apart. You know, I needed to relax in the beginning, take my time and then get back into it gradually, which is why I tend to do this. -Okay. Good. Thank you all.