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Raising Sextuplets: Discipline that Works

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-And you and you. -So, tell me how things are going. -I think it depends on the day. -I think, overall, they're doing- I think, overall, it's going really, really well. -Yeah. -But I do think, I mean, we- they're in the age right now, I'd say this is the most difficult. I'm praying to God this is the most difficult stage with sextuplets- -Yeah. -Because it's hard, you know. They wanna be everywhere. -Uh-huh. -They wanna roam everywhere- -Uh-huh. -But you can't reason with them yet. -Uh-huh. -The have little wills of their own, minds of their own. When you tell them no, they don't always like you to tell them no. And they throw fits. How do we know what it's normal 20-month-old behavior that we can discipline versus what do we need to really disciple and nip in the butt. -Let's look at what you do wanna change. What is the most important concerns? -I call them hot button issues. -Yeah. -Yeah. -Behavior change is possible, but the key is consistency. -Yeah, I think the toughest issues right now are fighting and biting problem. -Okay. -Biting, hitting, pulling hair- -Yeah. -Just attacking each other. -Okay. And you've nailed- those are what are called red flag behaviors, the ones that you won't put up with. You don't cross the line and, if you don't stop those behaviors at age 2, it's not a phase. It will become a habit and it will become an epidemic. Immediately, what you're gonna do is set- actually, you're doing 3 things. The first thing is, as a mom and dad team, you're gonna set rules and you're gonna lay them down to the kids. And even if at this age, they'll know the rules if you back each other up. You can warn them to begin with. Too many times saying no is gonna lose its effectiveness. -Right. It's- yes. That doesn't work. Give me more. -Yeah. -So, let's do something else instead. And that is, I want you to teach them the sign. A sign is nothing more than sign language. It's just a gesture, but if you do it, your kids will pick it up and they'll begin to realize, hey, we're doing this when we're doing something we're not supposed to be doing. -Uh-huh. -The sign immediately before they bite or hit is stop that. Let me hear your firm voice, Jenny. -Stop. -That's good. What's yours, dad? -Stop. -Stop. I mean, keep it down a little bit. -Right. -You need a firm voice. You need a strong voice, but you don't need a loud voice. -Okay. -The second rule you do is, if they don't stop, rule 1 is to set your rules. -Uh-huh. -Rule 2 is, there's gonna be a consequence. -Right. -The consequence for red flag behaviors is you pick them up immediately. -Uh-huh. -And you move them. It's called time out. And what you're also gonna do is catch them the moment they're doing it right. You're far better off of changing the child's behavior by always aiming for the positive. The moment they didn't bite- -Uh-huh. -Anytime else during the day, the moment they look like they were being kind little buddies towards one another- -Right. -Praise. -How do we get consistent with all of the things that we're learning? You know, how do we make it so grandma knows these rules and aunts and uncles- -Aunts and uncles. -And everybody that's helping us raise these kids? -The fastest way to change behavior is get everybody on board with the same message and the same way to intervene. So, I gave you homework assignment. -Yeah. -How'd you do, Jenny? -We did-