"Don't Leave Me!" Expert Tips for Dealing with Separation Anxiety

What to Do on the First Day of School

7. Pack something soothing. Mementos from home will calm your kid, but don't give her a potentially taboo item (blankies and stuffed animals may not be welcome; photos are usually okay).

8. Take the drama out of goodbye. Give your child a hug, say "I love you," and say you'll be back at the end of the day. Then leave. He might cling and cry, but lingering won't help either of you.

9. Don't hang around. Peeking into the classroom to see if your child stopped crying or to offer her a reassuring look will just send her into a meltdown, says Dr. Denham. "She'll think, 'If Mommy's so worried that she has to watch me, this place must be scary!'"

10. Don't overdo your reunion. Follow your child's lead at pickup time. He may run to you for a hug, he may just say "Hi, Mommy," or he might even be upset that you're taking him away from the fun. "If you go on and on about how much you missed him, your child may feel guilty for making you sad," says Dr. Pianta.