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The 5-Second Discipline Fix
If you want your kid to wash his hands, pick up his trains, or give his sister's tiara back, don't ask -- tell.
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Let's face it: If you had a dollar for every time you wanted your child to do something, paying the bills would be painless. You need him to listen up so you can make it through the day -- and keep your home from becoming a total disaster zone. Yet, like most parents, you probably don't want to be a nag (or a drill sergeant), so you constantly ask your child to cooperate. You figure he'll be more likely to pick up his towel off the bathroom floor or sit down at the dinner table if you come across as friendly rather than bossy. After all, you'll catch more flies with honey, right?
It seems like a reasonable approach, especially since that's the way that we typically talk to adults. "Being polite in our society requires making indirect requests, such as 'Can you pass the salt?'" explains developmental psychologist Linda Acredolo, PhD, a Parents advisor and coauthor of Baby Hearts. "If you interpret this question literally -- as young children always do -- it isn't actually a request for salt, it's a question of whether or not the person is capable of passing the salt." (Of course, you'd never expect your dinner companion to simply answer, "Yes.") So when you ask your child, "Would you like to take a bath now?" he thinks that you're actually offering him the opportunity to say no -- even though you really meant it as a polite way to make a direct command. The result? "You get upset and your child gets upset -- and confused," says Dr. Acredolo.
Topics in Discipline & Behavior
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I try to correct her now because if a don't do now will be worse later.
3/10/2010 09:11:01 PM Report Abusemy daughter could pull out electrical plugs and plug them back in by the time she was 11 mths old. Taking her away from the problem and distracting her never worked, she'd just crawl right back there the minuet i turned my back to answer the phone or something else. She has since learned that if she behaves and doesn't get into anthing she's not supposed to or hit other kids, she has a much better day, than the days where she spends the majority of the day in a corner facing the wall.
2/28/2010 12:06:26 PM Report Abuseto sassy: Part of taking care of a baby is making sure they learn wrong from right. Most parents expect teachers and other people to do their job for them now and just give their 'babies' w/e they want. My daughter is 19 mths old and she has been getting disciplined well before she was 1. Once babies are able to move around on their own, their curiosity expands and they tend to start playing with things they shouldn't.
2/28/2010 12:06:22 PM Report AbuseMy son Harper will be 3 years old in April...and he understands well. So far, he is a good baby...he listens and follow directions clearly. He is so thoughtful and comprehend well. Although not perfect, but he understands...and he seems to suprise me everyday :~)
2/25/2010 01:02:59 PM Report Abusemy daughter is 3 going on 4 but she has been singin songs and reapeating TV childrens shows since she was one and i feel like if she can do all that then she can listen to directions and do as I say. mothers are treating their children like they are dumb i don't mean like stupid or disabled but when you dumb your child down misbehavior is what accurs forget thet talkining in a calm tone you should talk to them like your talking to anyone else because trust me they undestand you.
2/24/2010 12:05:15 PM Report Abuse