The 5-Second Discipline Fix

Thanx for everyone's posts....I do not feel so alone now.

I have a 17month old boy and a 6yr old girl; I know I am suppposed to say and do these things but it's almost virtually impossible at times. My son is out of control; love him dearly but he is a HUGE handful. Any suggestions? And my daughter expects me to play with her or do fun things every second of the day...I am at my wits end. I've tried explaining that are responsibilities that must be attende to. I do the choices, breathing, time outs, it seeems as if nothing is working.

We just got a dog (a little one) Chihuahua mix. My daughter is 2 the puppy is almot 4 months. And the stairs. I have tried talking to her, telling her that she is hurting the puppy giving her ouwies. I just dont know what to do, time out doesn't work. I hit her back one time not hard and she starts hitting me back and the puppy.If you have any advise please email me at exotikchick_60@hotmail.com

My child is going to be four in less than a month and as of a month ago, he has picked up this hole talking back thing. He using a tone when talking to myself and his father, as well as daycare workers. And hs gone from being one of the most polite 3 year olds i know to demanding and telling everyone what to do and when to do it. How am I suppose to be firm with him so he knows whos boss when he turns around and using the same concept on myself and others? Any advice?

i have a 25 month old boy who thinks that he can run the show! he has atleast 2-3 tantrums a day! if he doesnt get his way he will throw himself on the floor bang his head on the ground kick his feet as hard as he can, he hits me when grandma leaves and destroys things! i have done everything i could possibly think of! the whole time out thing does not work if anything it makes it worse! i could use some really good advise on how to deal with this kind of behavior!

My son kicked my father in the leg trying to protect grandma. my father turned around and smaked him in the head before I could say anything. I argued with my dad then left the house. Some say that I should have had my son say sorry to him. but I feel my dad shouldnt have smaked him to beggin with..I am stuck and feel emotionaly distant from my family now. any tips from anyone out there???

thanks for all the comments...they all are work in progress to me..keep posting fellow moms of terrible two's going to three's

KIKI I HAVE 5YRS AND 7MONTHS BOY. AND I TRIED EVERY WAYS SHOUTING, BEGGING, ...THAT HE HAS TO EAT BY HIMSELF BUT IT DID'T WORK. NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! HE STAYS WITH HIS FOOD MORE THAN 1AND HALF HRS. AND TO DO THIS 3TIMES PER DAY IT MAKES ME VERY TIRED.

Reply to lady_bug 6 Sometimes little ones have a need to 'have a tantrum'. What I did with my daughter was tell her she could not do that here (in front of me) I would say, "if you need to cry a while, you have to do it in your room." She would get up, run to her room and cry for however long she needed. Then she would suddenly stop, come out of her room, say: "I'm done now, Mommy, I'm going to go play". It worked like a charm. Mommie-Grandma

momagain: I am raising my grand-daughter. My son,died 6 months before she was born. The mother did not want her so I got an angel.She has his temper and wants to do everything herself.She is 18 months now.I see the things I did incorrectly and am trying not to do them again. Easy to use old ways when the tantrums started. I give her choices that she can understand.It has been working unless she is very tired.Being mom grandma gives me a chance to learn from you new mothers.Thanks for the tips.

my almost 3 year old is very stubborn and has a short fuse. we at first speak to her calmly and explain why she can or cannot do something, and then the screaming begins. we take away tv time as well as her being on punishment. when she is in one of her moods it seems nothing helps

...and I don't just raise my voice as a first approach. I politely will ask something of my daughter and when she starts acting out is when I may start to raise my voice. Even being calm with her gets me nowhere.

My daughter is 3 1/2 years old.She is extremely smart but when I am trying to discipline her, it causes nothing but a war. She is extremely hard headed and stubborn. I've gone as far as taking away television from her by unplugging the tv from the wall. I'll tell her to go to her room and think about what she's done, or ask her to pick up after herself and she yells "NO". Taking things away from her, raising my voice, etc , nothing makes my child listen to me. PLEASE help !

Hi, how can I discliple my 16 month old son? He keeps pulling out plugs and hitting. When I ask him to stop he just keeps doing it.

I am with orti, repitition and consistency...not that I am good at either, but one day when I am I am sure my kids will be better behaved ;-) can't wait to check out the iphone ap though. Kris :-) www.thislittlemommystayedhome.blogspot.com

How true. You can use a nice tone w/out saying please and giving them a choice. I've also realized saying "ok" at the end of a sentence is also giving them the opportunity to say no.

Sorry but kids don't learn/listen the first time EVER. It takes constant repitition and consistency. They will test their limits and you have to set the boundaries.

Also, tears are the only weapon kids have. They use their tears b/c they know it tugs at ur heart strings and u give in. Once they realize tears won't work, they will stop (or atleast cry less). My son cries when I put him down sometimes for bed. After 2-3 minutes he's playin with a book in his crib and forgets all about it. Don't give in, it does work.

Children know when you mean business and obedience is not an option. It is in your tone of voice, the look on your face and how well you follow-thru. Empty threats just teach them they can do whatever they want after they try hard enough. When you are confident and expect them to listen and hold them accountable they will react accordingly. If you are sometimey and wishy washy your kids will walk all over you. Consistency is KEY!

GREAT way I found to just "skip" the discipline is this funny, but clever iPhone app: "Am I Done?" http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/need-a-cleaner-kid-there-s-an-app-for-that-1525452 It can be used for tons of common kid-hassles, and bizarrely, it even works on adults as a gag!

My husband & I have disagreed about defining politeness. You don't have to use please to be nice. You aren't necessarily being nice just because you use please. Remember sometimes "please" can be like asking "Can you" to children. Use a pleasant tone & tell a child what you specifically want them to do when "please" & praises fall on deaf ears or are replied to with "No." Remember only to offer a choice when you're willing to go along with either decision! Especially the older the child is!

@naomiynoe It's not easy, but the baby might have to just cry it out. Double check to be sure the baby doesn't have heat rash or itchy tags, but sometimes babies just hate their cribs because they'd rather be directly with Mom or Dad... in which case letting him or her cry and realize they're okay where they are is about all you can do. It's NOT discipline, it's being firm for a good reason - none of us can be holding our child 24/7.

The main thing is to remember that you need to teach your baby right from wrong. They don't come out of the womb knowing the difference. Patience is key and remember, what you put into your child, is what you'll get back.

I try to correct her now because if a don't do now will be worse later.

my daughter could pull out electrical plugs and plug them back in by the time she was 11 mths old. Taking her away from the problem and distracting her never worked, she'd just crawl right back there the minuet i turned my back to answer the phone or something else. She has since learned that if she behaves and doesn't get into anthing she's not supposed to or hit other kids, she has a much better day, than the days where she spends the majority of the day in a corner facing the wall.

to sassy: Part of taking care of a baby is making sure they learn wrong from right. Most parents expect teachers and other people to do their job for them now and just give their 'babies' w/e they want. My daughter is 19 mths old and she has been getting disciplined well before she was 1. Once babies are able to move around on their own, their curiosity expands and they tend to start playing with things they shouldn't.

My son Harper will be 3 years old in April...and he understands well. So far, he is a good baby...he listens and follow directions clearly. He is so thoughtful and comprehend well. Although not perfect, but he understands...and he seems to suprise me everyday :~)

my daughter is 3 going on 4 but she has been singin songs and reapeating TV childrens shows since she was one and i feel like if she can do all that then she can listen to directions and do as I say. mothers are treating their children like they are dumb i don't mean like stupid or disabled but when you dumb your child down misbehavior is what accurs forget thet talkining in a calm tone you should talk to them like your talking to anyone else because trust me they undestand you.

Forgive me if I am wrong, but 2 year olds are considered toddlers not babies, and from 3 or 4 to 5 they are considered kids.

actually i read the thing lisa clark wrote and she said 12 year old not two year old. lol

Dear lisa clark.You said that u have a 2 yr old that has been disobediant since she was (little)She is little,still a baby and is learning new things every day, Being a mom is no easy task but if u include her in daily (activities) Remember children at that age do not have a long attention span,instead of punising her talk to her calmly and tell her thats not the way to behave, if you speak to her in a positive way she will respond to your directons better. use terms that she will understand

.......The child should be taken away and distracted from anything that is not good or would hurt the child. Children are BABIES until they go to regular school and most parents tend to forget that. My Sister-in-law told a little story one time. She said I told Louie to stop behaving like a 2 year old and then remembered that he is 2 years old. That happens a lot from what I see.

Maybe I'm wrong but what does this BABY do that they would need to be disciplined???? The main word in that sentence is BABY. As a parent, your job is to see that the baby is taken care of. I know it can be difficault but

i have a 12yr old daughter that has been disobediant since she was a little girl ive tryed everything from naughty corners, to putting her in her room, grounding her, taking things of her, barring her from t.v and nothing hs ever worked. if ny one hs any idea's id love to hear them. i really need help.

NAOMIYNOE IM A MOTHER OF 5 CHILDREN AND MY 16 MONTH OLD DAUGTHER LIKES TO PUSH MY BUTTONS AND SEE WHAT SHE CAN GET AWAY WITH SO I STARTED TAKING AWAY HER FAV. TOY OR FOR HER BLANKET AND IF THAT DONT WORK I PUT HER IN HER ROOM ON TIMEOUT AND IF SHE STARTS CRYING I LET HER CRY IT IS GOOD FOR THEM TO CRY ALITTLE (UNLESS DADDY IS AROUND TO BABY HER LOL) SO DONT FEEL BAD IF SHE CRYS IT LETTING THEM KNOW WHAT THEY CAN AND CANT GET AWAY WITH IT WORKED FOR MY OTHER 4 CHILDREN

to naomi...sometimes ya just gotta let them cry..put em in there and walk away i knwo its hard,but it has to be done ,besides my gma says its good for there lungs lol...just let em know ur not leaving him/her and let em cry for a lil while they will stop:)It was hard for me to do it to my boys but they did stop cryin.

My two year old likes to through himself down on the ground everyday. When every I try to disciplin him her cries than he comes to hug me I tell him "NO" he hugs my feet. He also acts up in school which is causing the tearcher to limit his activ

i would like to know how can u dicipline a 17 month old baby, whenever i put him in his crib his starts to cry ??????

to adina1224 I would just redirect him in another direction and see if that helps

to franks1momma1 your child has insecurity issues due to abandonment. My advice is to reassure him always that you will be there for him and hug him and always say you love him. When he throws toys and throw tantrums just ignore him and he will see that it doesnt bother you but instead of saying don't throw that toy say remember I will always love you and nothing you do can make me mad but it hurt my feelings when mommy see you do this. see if he stops. This make take a few months though :}

franksfavorite Our 3/4 year old, adopted 2 years ago with more extreme needs than known, including abuse. Lately he's totally wild: running without stop, crashing cars against everytnhing, etc. He throws including a plastic wheel barrow directly at me. He defies directions and discipline. When asked why the sudden change he says he's scared we're "mad" and are going to leave. We can't get his attention without this funny little whining dance, to explain we'd never leave. Help!

I'd like to know how to discipline a 15 month old. When you tell him "NO" he keeps going back for it. Hitting and everyting.

That is kinda common sense I think. I would like to read more about discipline that will actually help make a child listen and follow directions, the first time.

I am the mother of 4 girls 7,6,5,and 3 I get them to pick up by giving them something they want in return I say please clean up your rooms and when there done correctly we will go to the park.It seems to work so far try it.Comparmizing always works.

We have always treated both our children with respect. Many parents often seem in shock when the hear us speak to our chilren and by the responses we get back from them. I think it goes back to that old saying: Treat others the way you want to be treated. I will say that once our oldest started Kinder she came home saying and acting in ways that we were not expecting. Taking away a toy or taking minutes off her computer or t.v. time has worked well getting her back in line.

I have tried giving choices and it ALWAYS ends up her picking something that would work, but not one of the choices I gave her. Any suggestions?

I'm not a parent yet but I think when you tell your child to do something you should only have to tell them once. It's called respect: You're the parent they're the kid. It's a very fine line! Yeah make stuff fun when they're little but be serious too because if you're always playing a game then they will always think life is a huge game.

To avoid the nagging... I say, asking once nice... twice nice... if I get to three times, a favorite toy gets a time out. Now, I only say "twice nI-ice" and my son hops to it. I also stack chores before a favorite activity... Dawdling on the chores leaves less time for the fun stuff. (A natural consequence)

Hi! I'm a childcare provider. I say praise and manners is key i.e., May I have the salt please? Child passes (toddler). Thanks Michael! Great Job! When it's time to wash our hands? I say "SCRUB-SCRUB TIME!" In an uplifting excited, way. The kids react like it's a game and they want to go wash their little hands. Bathing @ home? I¿d say, "TIME TO TAKE A BATH!" and add something like "Let's see if we can make an Elephant with the bubbles!" Really? Okay! Simple fun. Great word isn't it?