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9 Ways to Prevent a Meltdown -- Your Kid's and Yours, Too
Why it works for your kid: By placing your child in a brief time-out (one minute per year of his age) in a separate room, you'll eliminate a major reason for why he's flipping out in the first place: to get a rise out of you. "The vast majority of the time, a child has a temper tantrum to get attention and control," says Carl Arinoldo, PhD, a child psychologist and coauthor of Essentials of Smart Parenting. "An actor doesn't get onstage and play to an empty house." Plus, time by himself halts the downward emotional spiral, allowing him to regroup more quickly.
Why it works for you: Hiding out behind a closed door for a few minutes gives you space to chill out. You can even say it's the punishment for losing your temper. "I tell my kids, 'I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm going to my room to take a time-out until I can calm down,'" explains Katie Baird, a mother of three from Flower Mound, Texas. "Sometimes they pound the door and try to get in, but more often than not they think it's really funny that Mommy has to go to time-out." Whether you're reading, meditating, or surfing the Web, five minutes alone helps you regain perspective and control.
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I read this article when it first came out in 2008 and I still use the tactics I picked up from this article. Thank you! The most helpful tip is the Mommy Time Out -- it really helps me calm down and it helps the kids take a break, too.
4/26/2012 08:00:53 AM Report AbuseMan, I remember time outs as a kid, I'd scream bloody murder like I was getting tortured or something as I was being taken up to my room. I then would yell and cry at my teddy bear and then about a minute later, I'd walk up to my bedroom door and ask "Can I come out now? LOL
8/19/2011 07:15:16 PM Report AbuseMy daughter actually has a toy that is a birthday cake that has a censor that she can blow into and the lights go off like real candles! I think this would be a good tool for this solution. :) Thank you.
7/15/2011 12:58:03 PM Report AbuseStill put yourself into a time out. Kiddos are trying to gain back control - over you first because they are not able to control themselves. First, if they begin to throw a fit, put them into a time out, and then yourself. Even if they come out, do not respond - take your 2-3 minutes, and then come out. I would not respond to them for that amount of time. When you come out, you must get down on their eye level & talk w/them calmly about why they & you need time outs.
2/21/2011 02:14:17 PM Report AbuseI agree with Kssmith95, my kid pitches an absolute worst fit when he is put in time out for doing wrong. Any suggestions.
2/21/2011 10:21:41 AM Report Abuseclennieg...Oh no. I'm with you. My son goes into an absolute rage if I try to take a time out. If anyone has any suggestions for that problem, I'd love to hear it!
9/4/2010 01:38:43 AM Report AbuseI will not try the lighten up techniques. Those are a VERY bad idea. If you try to say 'no' with a smile, that just tells your toddler that they can get away with anything if they make you laugh. I have seen that idea fail with 2 boys from different families. Grandpa picks them up and tells them 'you hit me! that's not nice silly head.' and later they do it again. Then when one grandpa told his grandson not to stand in his seat, with a smile, the grandson ignored him & fell & hit his head.
2/25/2010 07:19:45 PM Report Abusetried the tickle-fest is works for my son hope others find what works for them
2/17/2010 10:09:38 AM Report AbuseOy, my daughter has a fit if I say I'm putting Mommy in time-out. Am I the only one?
2/9/2010 04:14:54 PM Report Abuse