Alternatives to Spanking

We spank our daughter & we explain to her when she receives a spanking why shes getting it & afterward we hug her & tell her we love her.We believe what the Bible says.I dont think the writer was off when he instructed us on how to raise our children.Comparing THIS generation of kids to the kids just a few decades ago proves to me parents today have missed what old timers knew. You may criticize me, but I'll put my child next to those who dont spank any day of the week!

Ok so I have read the previous comments, and I am still trying to come up with a creative alternative to spanking. I have 3 boys, 5yr old, 4 yr old and soon to be 3 yr old, and nothing works. I have sat them in time out, I have taken away toys, I have tried reward charts as incentives and still nothing works. We resort to spanking, but do not like it either. It is hard to take them in public, they act wild and unruley, any suggestions that work would be great.

How would you go about changing disciplinry techniques from spanking to timeout or redirecting? I was raised in the south where a belt or "switch" from a tree was used. My son is almost 4 and has been brought up that a swat on the rear with my hand is normal. I can see the points on these posts that spanking is wrong, so how do I go about changing the rules without looking like Im giving in or letting him get away with things when he doesn't get spanked?

And be consistant. If it takes 100 times,keep puting the child back in time out. Eventually the child will get the point that mom or dad mean business. I highly recommend the Love and Logic parenting program and encourage any parent to check it out.

Children need logical consequences. It is our job as parents to prepare them for the world outside our home. Is the judge or the police going to spank them and tell them no? I dont think so. For whatever they do you must find a logical age appropriate consequence. If a child is not sharing toys, it makes sense that the toys go up until the child can share.

Part 3> I DO NOT WANT MY CHILD FEARFUL OF ME! I just want her to understand that there are consequences to her actions. I don't know if she's getting it because it does seems oxymoron to teach a child not to hit/spank (whatever you chose to refer to it as) when as a parent we do the same thing. Please note spanking to a child is hitting. Desperately seeking an alternative solution that works! Thank you

Part 2> The saying, "this hurts me more than it will hurt you" is now well understood. Initially, I tried time-outs; it worked until she was 2 1/2. The last time-out session I had with her she refused to sit in the chair. She screamed to the top of her lungs, then she took her chair and literally smashed it up I was stunned to say the least; But as shocking as that was, I don't believe spanking is the answer either.

I am 37 years old and like another commenter, I was raised by a mother that believed in spanking. As a child I remember being fearful of my mother. I did not like the way she looked at me when she was disappointed with me and I especially didn't like the spanking/beating. With that said, I vowed not to spank my children. Now as a mother of 2, my youngest being 4 years old, spanking became the disciplinary solution. But it bothers me to know that I have to discipline her in this way.

I am a spanker, and it troubles me that both other parents and this article refer to spanking as "hitting" your child as if done in a rage of anger. In our home, when my child has disobeyed we sit down and talk about what he has done wrong, why it was wrong and that the punishment for that is a spanking. It's a calm experience. After he's spanked there are lots of hugs and kisses and we often pray and ask God's forgiveness for whatever it was my son did.

Lily Yes, Iam sure that spanking the kid doen't work. That only make worst situation and the other hand the kid start growind with the idea that is nornal and create some kind of violence in life.

Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE: Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit. Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals: Plain Talk About Spanking by Jordan Riak, The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children by Tom Johnson, NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

although i do agree that every child is an individual and some forms of disipline work better for some than others. it seems as though the political veiw on dicipline has gone dramatically down hill along with the behavior of alot of kids out there. you the parents are legaly responsible for the actions of your children, yet it seems we are forbiden to disipline them in a mannor we see fit.

i completely disagree that spanking always sends out the "be violent message". when done properly it is a very effective aproch to disipline. my parents used this method, and at the age of 23, i have never been in a fight, nor have i ever been in any physicaly abusive relationships, i wont put up with that kind of treatment.

I have a similar situation. My 5 year old is very defient and absolutely wants to do what she wants to do. how would you handle displine techniques

Wow. What a biased representation of spanking. I'm all for a variety of disciplinary approaches, but to dismiss spanking altogether as ineffective and inappropriate is not presenting a complete picture. Its important to note that spanking must be done in a proper context. Hitting a child out of anger is completely different from calmly enforcing the punishment. Every child is not the same, and the same disciplinary approach will not work for every child.

have you ever thought about doing a time-out in the highchair?

I absolutely adore my 2 yr old boy, Tate. But i really need some advice on how to discipline him without spanking. So far this is the only method i know that works, at least temporarily. HELP!!!!!

Well, I see what the writer is getting at. If we calmly handle the situation and teach the child to be calm and about the situation then we'll see positive results over the long term. I have personally seen this work with my one child. I admit, I have spanked her a couple times and grabbed her and made her walk out of the road but when I am angry I am usually calm with her after. Just like the million times I've done so without spanking.

My children are 6,4 and 2 yr old twins.You have 2 put fear in them so they know what will happen if they misbehave.EVERYONE tells me how behaved my children are in public but that's from knowing when it's ok 2 let things slide and when 2 punish.The only problem I have is that the twins want 2 touch or mess up everything!I say go ahead and spank.Scare them, because when you look serious, it tends 2 sink in their brains a little more.

BTW your examples of children misbehaving are lame. You don't discipline kids for being kids. Please, those are not problems. That's called being little. I am so glad for you that those are the only problems you have with your kid. Just as I would never discipline her for wetting the bed - I wouldn't bother with these things. I just tell her to try better next time. How about when they marker the carpet? Or throw and sit on the cat? Articles like this are wasting my time finding real help.

Oh, I envy the person who can say "You are in time out now." and the kid actually goes. If you have a kid like that - you have never needed to read an article like this. But, when you have to drag your kid over & over kicking and screaming (the kid not me) into to time out and almost have to sit on them to keep them there, when you take all their toys away and they could care less, then you have to consider other options. I don't like spanking, either, so give me some options that work.

and you said that their is other alternatives to spanking but i all i got from it was spanking is a no no....I seen nothing about timeout, a corner , explaining that it's wrong????? sooooooooo....for all the experts what's made your children know right and wrong without a little pop here and there??