Fantastic Fibs

Raise a More Honest Kid

A fib now and again is no big deal, but if your child develops a habit of lying, it could signal a deeper problem. If you notice any of the following warning signs, consult your pediatrician, school counselor, a child psychologist, or your clergyman.

• A pattern of deceit at home, at school, and with friends.
• Other antisocial behaviors, such as stealing or bullying.
• No sadness or remorse when a lie is unmasked.

To encourage honesty:

1. Set an example. Kids will imitate what you do and say. So instead of sweet-talking your way out of a parking ticket, admit your mistake and pay the fine. When your mother-in-law phones, don't duck the call by pretending you're out. You get the picture.

2. Be honest about your emotions too. If your child sees that you're sad or worried, don't tell him, "It's nothing; I'm fine." Kids need to know that it's unhealthy to stuff negative feelings inside and pretend everything's all right.

3. Nurture self-esteem. Confident kids are less likely to embellish the truth. Find ways to help your child feel good about herself. Spend more one-on-one time with her, help her explore a new hobby, and cheer on her achievements.

Copyright © 2007. Reprinted with permission from the August 2007 issue of Parents magazine.