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How to Talk to Your Preschooler About Sex
Last summer, my 5-year-old son, Jonah, and I were chatting at a local cafe. Keenly interested in the human body and how it works, he already knew that an egg from a woman and a "seed" from a man make a baby. But now he wanted specifics. "How do the egg and seed get together?" he asked. Gulp. People at nearby tables put down their coffee and waited, also dying to hear my response.
I shouldn't have been shocked. Preschoolers are notoriously inquisitive, and many develop a healthy sexual curiosity. What's surprising is how sophisticated their questions can be -- and that's when parents may stumble and give kids the brush-off. But it's important to provide answers. "You need to reassure children that they can always ask you a delicate question and get a sensitive and honest answer," says Justin Richardson, MD, coauthor of Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They'd Ask). This way, your child will be more likely to come to you later in life when sex conversations have broader implications. Keep your cool by having these smart responses at the ready.
The scenario: Your child asks a question about how a woman's egg is fertilized.
The solution: If your child catches you unprepared, it's okay to stall. Say, "Let me think about it because it's a great question," says Robie H. Harris, author of It's NOT the Stork! Ideally, you should get back to him with an answer as soon as possible. Explain that when grown-ups want to make a baby, there's a special kind of love called "making love," or sex. It happens when the daddy puts sperm (lots of "seeds") inside the mommy; if a sperm and an egg meet, a baby can grow. That answer may be enough and he'll drop the subject. If he presses you for more info, it's fine to say that the man's penis goes inside the woman's vagina -- but always use proper names for body parts. Harris adds that it's important to explain to your child that only grown-ups share this kind of love.
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Okay, please help me on this. I have a 4 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. They accidentally got a hold of an adult film and months later caught "oh yeah" ing each other. All I got from them is that it means kissing. I dont know what to do about this because I was molested for most of my childhood by my older brother. PLEASE HELP!! Email @ Dwestfa3@wvup.edu
11/23/2011 02:22:59 PM Report AbuseMy daughter is 7 and just went to my computer and read my emails by accident, and this article was showing, so she started to read it and the comments too. She came to me and said: Mommy! I just discover a new word, and I said what?, she said: penis!, then I started to scream!! and laughed. I think that nowdays is normal to speak to your kids about sex, they will find out someday, and I prefer to talk to her about it before other kids do. Be their friends!!!
12/19/2010 02:58:25 PM Report Abusemy 4 year old daughter started playing with her barbies and pretending they are having sex!!!! I don't know were it came from and to say the least it freaked me out. I asked her what that means and she said kissing. I am not sure how to handle this. Please help... email me at lexebeauty@yahoo.com
7/7/2010 09:58:12 AM Report Abuseim having the same problem. my 5 year old son has a 7 year old friend. the friend showed my son his boy parts a month ago, and just now my son told me his friend asked him to have sex with him. i know kids are very curious and i dont want to scare them, but whats the best thing to do here? email me charlynaasko@hotmail.com
5/15/2010 08:11:26 PM Report AbuseHELP HELP HELP!!!! I have a 9 year old step daughter that has been talking about sex with her friends at school and when she comes over she was talking to my 5 year old son about it (of course we didnt know till recently and we told them both its not ok) but now my son thinks its a cool game to play and he talks about it all the time. How do I explain to a 5 year old boy to get him off the subject about sex?
4/12/2010 05:33:10 PM Report Abusemy son, age 4, was at his babysitters and was caught with his pants down and so was the girl of the same age. how do i deal with this problem. email me at landotippy@gmail.com
12/3/2009 04:35:22 PM Report Abuse