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Sibling Squabbles and Fighting
It often seems that the only thing Sara LaFountain's four boys have in common -- besides their DNA -- is the love of a good fight. Whether they're squabbling over who's the fastest runner or brawling because one kid dared to breathe on another, the Rockville, Maryland, brothers spend an awful lot of time and energy mixing it up. "No matter what the issue is, if they can fight about it, they do," says LaFountain.
If you've got more than one child, you can relate. The exhaustion of being summoned to referee the "I had it first" disputes and breaking up the 10th shouting match of the day can make even the most Zen parent lose it. In the heat of the moment, it may be small comfort to know that it's perfectly normal for brothers and sisters to fight. Plus, the experts all agree that constant feuding won't affect the relationship children have with each other when they grow up. Siblings fight because they're hungry, tired, bored, or they want Mom and Dad's attention. Sometimes they squabble because they're simply sick of spending so much time together. But there is an upside to the bickering. "As kids resolve their disputes, they learn how to compromise and cooperate," says Marian Edelman Borden, author of The Baffled Parent's Guide to Sibling Rivalry. We know what you're thinking -- that's great, but how do I maintain the day-to-day harmony? Our experts have advice on keeping mundane conflicts from escalating into nasty free-for-alls.
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I have 3 kids, (7,2, and 4 mo). The two oldest share a room and toys and they constantly fight. I seem to always be telling them "Work it out or no one will play with _____" and I tell myself "This builds negotiation skills.". It's nice to hear an expert agree.
7/3/2011 03:31:47 PM Report AbuseSo does anyone have any solutions? Glad I'm not alone here but could use some good ideas. We had the battle over character cups....solution - pitch them and bought new plastic clear cups (from Walmart, nice and cheap), everyone gets the same, no more battles.
4/4/2011 12:27:07 PM Report AbuseI have a 2 year old daughter and a five year old boy, they fight over everything....my son even flips out if my daughter looks at him
3/10/2011 03:21:34 PM Report AbuseI have 5 girls and 1 boy,3 of my girls cannot stand each other they fight like cats and they also fight over everthing about who goes first and who go's next over video games,tv,computer and on and on and on they just go at it almost everyday and mostly all daylong and sometimes they also fight with there younger sister that is 5yrs. old too, so imagine how much stress i go through and i have cause i have to give my attention to my 3yr old boy and my 1 yr old daughter.
3/8/2011 01:02:50 PM Report AbuseI have 4 boys and you name it they can fight about it! daddy,imaginary friends and things, video games, looking out the others window in the car who is in bathrom first, the car, toys its a never ending list. CAlgon take me away!!!!!lol..
3/8/2011 11:46:18 AM Report AbuseOk, you can relate. My 3 1/2 yr old triplets (Boy, girl, girl) fight about everything too and I am soooo mentally and emotionally tired sometimes from being the referee or trying to teach them to take turns in the middle of one trying to rip the arm off the other. I have so many timers around the house. They scream out get the timer. Thanks for sharing ladies!!!
10/18/2010 09:23:25 PM Report AbuseMy kids, 6 and 3, fight over imaginary friends ALL the time!!
10/18/2010 08:20:22 PM Report AbuseMy sister and I used to have awful fights.Total destruction of the house sometimes.But no one else could mess with the other.Now we're best friends.I don't know what I would do without her.I have two little girls who are the same way at 2 and 4.I'm trying to prepare myself for what is to come.So far it's stealing,hitting,kicking,tattling.I know how bad it will get,but that it will all work out in the end. My eldest is already very protective of her little sister.
10/18/2010 12:31:20 PM Report Abuselol thats very funny
7/6/2010 11:40:32 AM Report Abusetha is my baby i love my baby gril
2/16/2010 12:57:55 AM Report AbuseMy three year old has all of a sudden started having tantrums towards her sister. She will play with her one min and the next willslap or kick her. She has started with the smart mouth and we have taken her toys and movies away and it does not seem to phase her
11/13/2009 02:25:16 PM Report AbusePlay-Doh in the car? Ri-i-i-i-ight...
11/4/2009 10:29:26 AM Report AbuseLol
10/10/2009 02:45:04 PM Report AbuseI'm still laughing over this comment: "My kids once chased each other around the room fighting over an imaginary plate of cookies. When the older one pretended to eat the pretend cookies, the younger one melted down in a 10-minute crying fit." I can see my girls doing that!
10/7/2009 11:15:01 AM Report Abuse