Q+A: How Can I Stop My Son from Touching His Privates in Public?

A. Have no fear -- you're not alone. This behavior is totally normal for children his age. Your son is learning about his body, and telling you what he thinks about it. That's a good thing! You want to make sure he develops a positive body image; of course, you also need to teach him what's appropriate and what's not.

Explain to him the rules about touching himself: "Your penis is a private part of your body. That's why we go to the potty in private. So when you want to touch your penis, you need to do it in private, too, like in the bathroom or your bedroom."

The more matter-of-fact and less emotional you are when responding to his comments, the less likely he'll be to dwell on them. As you help your son learn the rules about touching his penis, he might need many reminders. When you see him putting his hands in his pants, go over to him and tell him subtly that he needs to go somewhere private or stop. Some parents establish a special signal with their child.

What's most important is that you remain gentle and nonjudgmental, so your son won't feel ashamed and develop a negative feeling about his body as he matures.

Rebecca Parlakian, also of Zero to Three, contributed to this column.

Copyright © 2008. Used with permission from the March 2008 issue of American Baby magazine.

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