Your belly may be big and out there for all to see, but that doesn't make it public property. Thankfully, some people have enough good sense to know that it's never okay to grope someone -- at least not without asking first. If you prefer not to be rubbed like a Buddha, say so. "Being polite doesn't mean letting others treat you in ways that make you uncomfortable," says Leah Ingram, author of The Everything Etiquette Book: A Modern-Day Guide to Good Manners.
Stop it by: Using a bit of humor. Try "Please look, but don't touch." Or turn the tables and say, "You can touch my tummy if I can touch yours."
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Sucks even worse when the nice person is the soon to be mother in law and it my own mother telling me i should get an abortion and asks if im getting fat! Im in the army and the person over me pulled me aside at 9 weeks and said im gaining too much weight too fast.. I hadn't gained a pound! Then people calling me fat behind my back and asking who the father is.. i mean come on i know im not married but its none of your dang business!
3/16/2012 11:52:07 AM Report AbuseMy husband and I were seriously amazed about how opinionated people are about names and how they DO NOT feel the need to spare us their feelings on certain names. You would think we were going to name our baby some off the wall crazy alien name. It is amazing how some people have no filter when you tell them names you are thinking about. We have decided that our final name choice will be announced after our son is born and I dare anyone to say anything about what we choose.
2/29/2012 10:13:47 PM Report AbuseI think my mother in law just looks for the scariest stories to say to me about still births and deaths. She irritates me. Then if i say i dont eat a particlar food during my pregnancy she has to question Why i dont and when she was pregnant she used to eat everything and state that i will cause my unborn baby allergies because of that. I wish i dont have to be around her at all but i need to jus take a deep breath.
1/11/2012 09:23:05 AM Report AbuseI am 35 weeks pregnant. Lately I have been getting comments such as, "Have they moved your due date up yet?", "Boy you got huge over the weekend!", "You are waddling!", "Do you think your maternity clothes are going to hold out" "You're just gonna get bigger and bigger...","Oh, you'll probably mis-carry like your mother did..." I tell my counsleor about the comments and he tells me "Yeah before you looked kinda pregnant...now you are like HELLO I AM PREGNANT!"
11/24/2011 10:20:57 PM Report AbuseWhat really bothers me are the comments my brother in law, who has 3 kids and acts like he wrote What to Expect..., makes whenever I mention something I'm experiencing in my pregnancy. His answer to everything is, "Yeah, I know all about it," or "What, do you think I don't already know about that?" I just want to enjoy my first pregnancy and all that I'm experiencing, even if you've been there already, just let me enjoy my time!
9/19/2011 09:34:07 AM Report Abusethe biggest one for me is my mother in law and sister in law, "how much weight have you gained" I am lucky and so far only gained one lb (im almost 5 months pregnant) another one is when mother in law says she hopes I have a really naughty baby, I replied saying "ill make sure it's naughty for you don't worry!"
8/27/2011 03:50:07 AM Report AbuseI can't believe how rude some people can be. Some of my y favoriates: Was it planned? Yes I am that Amazing and could possibly plan twins!!! How old are you anyway? Don't you already have kids? Your done after the twins are born? You sure are huge for only 15 weeks...HELLO there are two of them!
8/19/2011 05:06:54 PM Report AbuseI work at a pizza place that takes the pizzas table to table for buffet. I asked a man if he wanted some and his response was "I need what you got...you know some more room to put it." lol
7/28/2011 05:09:55 PM Report AbuseAfter nearly six months of non-acknowledgment of my pregnancy from my in-laws, thie first thing my mother in law said to me at 24 / 25 weeks was, " You haven't grown at all. You are going to have a small baby. Huh!" I have no idea why but I was offended. I am actually exactly where I should be and baby Alivia is very healthy. The other in laws either said the same thing or continued to ignore me.
7/4/2011 11:12:23 PM Report AbuseAs far as touching bellies, it doesn't bother me if it's friends or family but strangers NO WAY. That's weird. A woman I worked with touched my belly and it was really bizarre b/c she seemed so envious and jealous.
7/2/2011 09:46:20 AM Report AbuseI think the article should have included the "Were you trying to get pregnant?" question. Or after you've just given birth and people ask "when are you going to have another one?" Seriously is it any of anyone's business whether or not your pregnancy was planned.
7/2/2011 09:45:30 AM Report AbuseThere is a lady at work who is constantly telling me how big I am and how big my baby is gonna be. It makes me so mad bc my ultrasound showed that the baby is only a little over a pound. Plus I've only gained 13lbs total and I'm 7 months pregnant. I think I'm doing pretty good. Also I'm just all baby bc I'm only 5'0 so my belly has no where to go but out.
6/27/2011 12:04:15 PM Report AbuseOk, I have chosen my daughters name. I love it my husband loves it but this is what I hate. When people ask "Have you decided on a name" and you FINALLY tell them and they say to you.....oh, why would you name your child that? Now the name is not Fairy, Tulip, or Grasshopper....why are people so rude and feel like they get an opinion?
6/20/2011 03:05:14 PM Report AbuseHere is THE worst Pregnancy Comment-- I found out my daughter will be born with a bi-lateral cleft. The initial shock wore off..then I went to the surgeon to have a consultation...his words..."Babies born with clefts are hideous." My jaw just dropped! How dare anyone, let alone a doctor make a comment like that!
6/18/2011 07:51:58 AM Report Abuse"Has your doctor said anything about all this weight you've gained?" "Please take more care of yourself" "Kids are terrible, you'll see" "Can't wait to babysit, so we can teach her to eat meat" (I'm a vegetarian)... Yeah, in-laws can be great...
6/12/2011 01:45:32 PM Report AbuseI'm going to start saying... "Yes that's my personal petting zoo when people touch my belly." funny... It hasn't bothered me yet, but yes, people are pretty forward and just do it I see. I'm only 17 wks and hardly showing yet. As for the unsolicited advice, for the grandparents, I told them from the beginning, "I'm paying my Dr. to tell me the do's and don't's, how about you enjoy being grandparents." It's actually worked quite well.
4/22/2011 02:57:56 PM Report AbuseI found that t-shirts are an easy way to avoid the "can I touch your belly" and people get a kick out of it. It says "It is a belly, not a petting zoo"
4/4/2011 05:32:22 PM Report AbuseMy friends all tell me how even though Im pregnant, Im still "tiny". My fiancee's friends, however, cant WAIT until he leaves the room so they can tell me how "big" im getting, and how hard it is to lose the weight afterwards. Like they are some kind of pregnancy experts.One of them said "good luck with keeping him around! Enjoy those muffin tops, mama!" I was so shocked that they could say that to my face, what are they saying behind my back? Very hurtfull, and hard to shake off.
3/11/2011 12:06:03 PM Report AbuseMy most recent comment received was "I bet if you squeeze your belly it will pop just like a zit". I wanted to squeeze his head like a zit.... Got to love the "WHOA!" and the "are you sure its not twins?" Seeing a pregnant woman = loss of brain/mouth filter.
3/4/2011 11:50:51 AM Report AbuseI got a comment the other day while I was in a grocery store. Some elderly woman looked at me when she walked by and said loudly "Oh these teenagers these days. They think it's funny to get pregnant and then show it off. Disgusting!" It took me a second to realize that she was talking about me. Then I didn't know if I should be mad or flattered because I'm 38 years old and she thought I was a teenager!!!
2/23/2011 06:02:15 PM Report Abuse1
2/15/2011 12:46:03 AM Report AbuseHad a female co-worker ask me if I was still pregnant because she thought I looked like I was losing weight...in loose-fitting scrubs. I thought, but did not say, well you should see me when I am naked. What a question to ask someone who is experiencing the most exciting time of her life.
2/2/2011 05:10:42 PM Report AbuseIn response to Iwade44. Any negative comment that is made to a pregnant woman can be considered rude regardless what the comment is. My neighbor had to deal with a barrage of insults on her weight when she was pregnant & she was nowhere close to being huge or overweight. People should be mindful what they say to others: follow the rule if you do not have anything nice to say then do not say anything at all.
1/24/2011 04:59:18 PM Report AbuseI'm 4 months pregnant and don't have a baby belly yet. But i've had several people as me if i'd lost my baby yet. I'm like are you serious. Just because i'm not showing yet doesn't mean I lost it and if i did theres a more reasonable way in asking. I've even had people tell me that i wasnt showing because i was heavy to begin with. I'm 5'9" and i weigh 182 pounds. thats not over weight. I told the lady well you must know all about it then huh. People are so rude!!!
1/8/2011 02:38:03 PM Report Abusei wouldn't even take most of these comments as rude. maybe annoying, but not rude. like the comment below, I find comments like "Haven't you ever heard of an abortion?" and "Its going to be hard" and "Whats going on with the dad?" to be much more rude and invasive. I guess unmarried women are the ones who get comments like those the most, but still married women should quit being so prude if those are the nost rude comments they get!
12/15/2010 03:31:03 PM Report AbuseI can top that! My MIL told me she would pay for an abortion. At the time her son and I were not married. She was not happy about that nor was she happy that I was 20 years old when I got pregnant. But its the women that is always the loose one.
11/12/2010 04:31:11 PM Report AbuseDon't be afraid to be "blunt" right back and definitely voice your opinions, especially if you feel someone is being rude. They are obviously not thinking of your feelings about the issue, so why worry about theirs? People won't know they are being rude unless you open up and tell them about it.
11/6/2010 06:18:36 PM Report Abuseno one ever askes me if they cn touch my belly they kinda jst do it...bt i guess since its happened so mch i've already gotten use to it...one thing that does suck is that where i work at everybdy jst thought i was getting fat i hate getting asked like 20 times in one night( are yu prego ) obviously so im nt jst fat...
11/6/2010 05:07:20 PM Report AbuseWhen I was 6 weeks pregnant, I had a scare at the hospital (but everything ended up being fine:-) A close friend who somehow thought she was being supportive told me a story about another friend who miscarried at 14 weeks and had to have a d and c. Not very reassuring! THEN I guess she forgot she'd told me, and she sent me the same story in a text message the next week!
10/30/2010 03:09:52 AM Report AbuseI guess I've been really lucky in terms of advice and belly rubbing. I haven't been so lucky with the unsolicited horror stories. My MIL was an OB/GYN nurse practitioner for years and she has TONS of awful stories to tell. Working in the field, you'd think she'd be smart enough to know that I don't want to hear that stuff.
10/4/2010 11:11:32 AM Report AbuseWhy everyone wanna touch the woman's belly to say: Congratulations, but never touch the husband's penis to say: Good Job???
10/3/2010 11:51:13 PM Report AbuseA lady I work with said, "Aw, you worked so hard to lose all that weight and now you are pregnant." I am only 17 weeks and I've only gained 5lbs and I am pregnant with twins! Everyone else tells me I don't look that big for carrying twins. Crazy. People are unbelieveable. Does anyone else tire of all the sudden "mommy" advice that everyone wants to bestow upon you? I'm getting very annoyed!!!
9/10/2010 07:56:45 PM Report AbuseA woman I had just met when I was 6 months pregnant told me..."Are you pregnant? Ooooh, I thought you were big!" How nice is that! And I'm not overweight. When you look at me it's obvious I'm pregnant!!
8/30/2010 10:39:17 PM Report AbuseA lady at work looked at my ultrasound at 8 weeks and said "OMG it's huge, it's KingKong." I didn't know how to react...
8/27/2010 02:31:43 PM Report AbuseWhen I was 20 wks the women at work said I was larger than another co-worker that was 36 wks with twins. That is so not cool! I am 5'5" the co-worker is almost 6'. That's a really big difference. My MIL also says all the time "I hope you are taking care of yourself." Next time she says that I'm going to reply, "So that bottle of vodka and that pound of drugs I had this morning are ok, right?" I am very capable of taking care of myself, I'm 30 years old!
8/9/2010 12:04:12 PM Report AbuseI had a co-worker who says negative things ALL the time...I was drinking orange juice and she says you better not drink so much juice you are going to have gestational diabetes...wow! then another client brought in her daughter and she was so sweet and cute and we hit it off immediately.I complemented her mother. My co-worker says you know your child wont be good like that. Now every time she says something awful (still often) I just say please stop with the negativity!
8/2/2010 05:47:50 PM Report AbuseI have a sister in law that is 14 yrs old and doing really bad things like drinking smoking and so on. My father in law and his wife tell me and my husband just wait your baby is going to be worse. I feel like saying take care of your own and I'll raise my child how I see fit. They always try to make everyone else seem worse than their own wild child. Besides comments like that they never ask how my baby is growing. So I just stay away from them so I dont have to hear stupid comments from them.
7/12/2010 04:19:01 PM Report AbuseMother is laws can be very frustrating. I really get tired of hearing "o make sure u do this" or "ur not gonna wanna do that"...I think its my kid and my life and I will decide what is best for the both of us.
7/12/2010 03:07:54 AM Report AbuseI had this really good friend on mine say to me every time she saw me that i was HUGE,after a third time i told a friend we have in common to tell my friend ( she is older than me in her 50's),that she was hurting me with her comments,she was so taken back and surprised,she said that she meant as a compliment that she loved when people said that to her when she was pregnant ,so i said not me,i don't like it when you say that i'm fat so she stoped and apologized ...
7/11/2010 11:13:09 AM Report AbuseWhen my husband and I told everyone I was pregnant, alot of people asked if we were trying. Or they said, "I didn't know you were trying." It's really no one's business. I felt like saying, do I really need to call and give everyone a heads up when we are going to "try"?
6/19/2010 08:31:45 AM Report AbuseI had a lady who said she thought I was just stout, meaning fat. First time I've ever gotten that comment in my life, since I'm usually 98lbs. I don't mind family and close friends touching my tummy without my permission each time, but I've had one random person do so in disbelief. I was livid. If I say I'm pregnant then just believe without touching me!
6/7/2010 09:47:56 PM Report AbuseI work in retail and am 6 months pregnant. I had a customer ask me, "When are you due?" I responded "September." She said "Are you sure?" I said, "Yes, I know when I got pregnant." Her response-"Well, It's just that you are so big!" I am 5 ft tall and my belly measures 24 inches from top to bottom.....How is that BIG?????
6/5/2010 07:59:07 AM Report Abusemother in-law my fiances mom had the audasity to tell me if we didnt get married before the babby came all ill be giving her is a bast**d grand kid then told me (not if but when)we decide to give up the babby she always has a crib open i mean seriously youd think after 26 adopted kids you would be done? all i could do is cry she could have been so much nicer about that
5/29/2010 08:53:45 PM Report AbuseThe other day a boy (maybe 8 or 10?) come up to me and started asking about my baby, and he just put his head right on my tummy while he was talking and said he wanted to "hear the baby move" - I was flabbergasted! how do you tell a kid like that to back off, and that he wouldn't hear the baby, he would feel it? I worried if I told him he would have to feel the baby, he was going to keep his head or his hand on my belly forever. I ended up saying "sorry the baby is asleep" and walking away
5/27/2010 12:20:32 AM Report AbuseWhen friends quickly reach to touch my belly (usually asking without waiting for my permission), I quickly brush their hand away gently, saying "ohhhh please don't do that; I feel nauseous!" I feel like making a t-shirt iron-on that says "look but don't touch."
5/24/2010 11:31:21 AM Report Abuse"you have no idea what you're in for...." (I just laughed)
5/10/2010 06:39:58 PM Report AbuseMy neighbor asked to touch my belly to feel my son kick. I was okay with it. But then since he wouldn't move she started shaking and pinching my stomach! I was upset! Almost lost it. My poor baby didn't move until the next day!
5/8/2010 07:23:29 AM Report AbuseOne of my friends was carrying her baby while shopping when some person felt the need to correct the way she was carrying him. Her response, "I know, I dropped him last night! I should be more careful!" Obviously she was joking, but the other person didn't know what to say!
4/28/2010 12:13:59 PM Report AbuseAlthough I am big now that I am pregnant I am glad that I am petit, so I when I hear one of those "look how huge you are" comments, I like saying "thanks I know! this baby is going to be so healthy, when I am a size 0 again I am going to love looking at my pregnancy pictures!" Most people then answer, "size 0??? wow! that means your pregnancy clothes probably fit me now?" I think "that's right, that's how big I am"! ha,ha,ha.
4/28/2010 07:06:44 AM Report AbuseThere's this lady at work,who once told me: I don't know if you believe in this,but I have a sister in law who did'nt wore a red lace around her belly while pregnant and she lost the baby".I don't get why do people would try to put bad thougs in you when you just want to enjoy your growing baby,I have absolute faith in God,and I truly don't think any mom should be afraid of something that stupid.I didn't say a word to her,my face gave her my answer...
4/23/2010 08:43:42 PM Report AbuseMy Mother-in-Law, "Poor you. You have such a hard time keeping the weight off anyway, and now you get pregnant!"
4/16/2010 01:54:39 PM Report AbuseHow about the comment my tor really popping out there....I so wanted to say yea I am pregnant what is your excuse, but I did not it so caught me by suprise....
4/16/2010 10:59:02 AM Report AbuseI had my boss tell me " You looking pretty thick today" and " you are looking pretty big today"comments like those really hurt and I am sorry us ladies who are going through this time have to deal with them. Also had someone say I can tell you are pregnant cause your face looks fuller and I just thought you we having too much good food lately and had a gut. LOL I am finding out people just dont know what to say but it still hurts. Most of the comments have come from men
4/10/2010 01:19:09 PM Report Abuseespecially not from monter in laws loololo. I am sure everyone can appreciate that one.
3/21/2010 11:38:06 AM Report AbuseI dont mind people touching my belly its huge and its outthere so its tempting i understand what i do dislike is the unwanted comments and advice im having my third child dont need advice from anyone.
3/21/2010 11:37:22 AM Report AbusePeople I work with are now saying I'm getting fat and my face is getting pudgy. Nice huh? Oh and another lady at work said as she was looking at the sonogram of my baby on my locker that he looks like an alien. It's annoying hearing these things but I just have to keep in mind the types of people that are saying them.
3/20/2010 03:26:18 PM Report AbuseMy father-in-law thinks is super funny to tell pregant people they are fat. I however am not a fan. The first thing out of his mouth when he sees me is "how much weight have you gained". He is a great guy and I know cares about me alot I just wish he cared a little less about my baby weight and if I lose it or not.
3/12/2010 01:18:37 PM Report AbuseI have one lady at work who is constantly telling me what i should and shouldn't do. She tells me i shouldn't be working at all even though we still have bills to pay, i shouldn't take tylenol for my back (i have a bulging disc) even though the doctors say it's okay, and so on and so on. If i go to take my prenatal or DHA pill she's right there asking what it is i'm taking like i'm going to put my baby in danger by taking narcotics or something.
3/7/2010 07:49:58 PM Report Abuseif they ask then its ok, its when they dont ask and thinks its ok, when I dont know them at all.
2/24/2010 11:25:59 AM Report Abusei absolutely hate when somebody puts thier head on my belly and stands there and hugs it forever!! it makes me soo uncomfortable and they do it without asking!! i wouldn't mind if it was a family member but its my friends that do it(even though i love them dearly) i really wish they wouldn't do that!!!
2/4/2010 11:52:58 AM Report AbuseI had the "are you sure there's only one in there?" comment from my husbands aunt and grandmother all the time when I was pregnant with my second and I would end up crying later to my husband about it it just made me feel like I was HUGE (I was but that's beside the point) I was all baby and straight out with my second. I am pregnant with my third, not showing yet but am just waiting for the comments to start again this time I know that it's just them and 'hopefully' it won't get to me as much.
1/14/2010 02:56:34 AM Report AbuseThe worst thing that has happened to me while being pregnant though has been this one lady at my work who constantly tells me that the name we have chosen for our daughter is basically bad luck and every child she knows with that name is basically "bad-news". I just keep telling her that I don't believe in that nonsense and try to laugh it off, because it actually really hurts my feelings...how could anyone be so insensitive!
1/11/2010 01:35:41 PM Report AbuseOne of my husband's friends went in to touch my belly and without even really thinking about it, I reached out and started shaking his hand as if we were just being introduced and then just laughed it off when I realized he was going in for my belly...it was just a natural instinct, but it's been good to do to others who have tried to sneak in there!
1/11/2010 01:35:34 PM Report AbuseAs long as they ask its okay with me.
12/7/2009 11:49:34 AM Report AbuseIt makes me uncomfortable when someone just reaches out and pats my belly..Then I have some people touch my belly and it seems totally natural. So for me It depends on who it is. I've had 1 person ask if she may touch my belly in 34 weeks of pregnancy and it made my day that she would have enough respect to ask...
10/8/2009 04:26:48 PM Report AbuseI have found that when I say, "Can I touch your belly then?" people say sure! So I have just become really mean about it. When a hand comes near my belly, I grab it and move it away. I also don't understand when people ASK if they can touch my belly and I say "no", why would they ask me why and get upset? If you really wanted to touch my belly, why didn't you just go after it instead of asking a yes or no question where you have a 50/50 shot of getting an answer of "no"!
10/3/2009 10:06:48 AM Report Abuse