Strange Sex Dreams During Pregnancy

Expert advice on what could be causing one woman to have out-of-the-ordinary sexual fantasy dreams during her pregnancy.
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Q. I love my husband, but now that I'm pregnant, I'm having lots of erotic dreams, and some have nothing to do with him! The dreams that bother me the most are the ones where I'm having sex with women. I know I'm not gay, so what could these dreams mean?

A. Pregnancy is a time of life when your dreams are wilder than ever. Extra blood flow to your genitals, raised estrogen levels that increase vaginal secretions, and sensitive, enlarged breasts mean your sex drive may be raging. The result? Your pregnancy dreams may reflect your joys and fears about your body in some unexpectedly lusty ways. Moreover, since you're waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom or massage a leg cramp, you tend to remember more of your nighttime imaginings and more vividly.

If your dreams trouble you, keep a journal and try to dissect what they might mean. Remember, dreams are not literal messages from your subconscious but more complex reflections on your life. For instance, if some of your erotic dreams have to do with old boyfriends or strangers, perhaps part of your subconscious is saying a final goodbye to that "lost" self as you cross the threshold into parenthood. And those dreams about women probably have less to do with being a lesbian and more to do with appreciating your body in new ways.

"Now that you're pregnant, you're going to be very focused on your body," says Sallie Foley, a sex therapist and coauthor of Sex Matters for Women (Guilford, 2002). "And your dreams may reflect the fact that you love the new life your body is creating. You're discovering that a woman's body is pleasurable, exciting, and powerful in ways you've never experienced before."

Holly Robinson is a writer who lives with her husband and their five children north of Boston.

Originally published in American Baby magazine, September 2004.

 

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Comments
Comments (12)
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crerunner wrote:

so glad i found this article and read the comments....now i know i am normal! thank god all of my drams have been with my husband, but they always start out that we are fighting or no longer together then in a fit of an argument we have wildest craziest night ever. now they are more about me begging for more from him......crazy huh

10/20/2011 11:37:10 AM Report Abuse
plroland881 wrote:

omg this happened to me the other night! and it was about a girl who i find the most annoying and un-attractive. but it did happen in my first trimester as well. i blamed it on the fact i was having a boy and he's a freak already lol...i knew i wasnt gay but these dreams did start to scare me. im glad i read this and im not the only woman going thru this freaky stuff.

8/25/2011 12:35:08 PM Report Abuse
mtvalles wrote:

I had a dream the other night where I was looking at my stomach and my babys foot came out and I could feel her little foot! Have no idea what it means... Hope it doesn't mean she's going to come early

6/30/2011 04:38:53 PM Report Abuse
aliciacorral wrote:

I had a weird dream the other date. I dreamt that my baby boy was moving around inside me and i was looking down at my belly and i could actually see his little hand sticking out! He did that like three times. What could that mean?

8/26/2010 03:48:36 PM Report Abuse
tcoco80 wrote:

I have sex dreams about old boyfriends and sometime in my dreams my husband is there and watching, but sometime the dream would be so vivided that I wake up feel upeasy for the rest of the day and ask myself what was that all about?

5/13/2010 11:19:17 AM Report Abuse
tamikyoblake wrote:

Its so weird how pregnancy and hormones can make ur dreams erotic. I have been having some of the same dreams about my husband, myself and other women. I've even had dreams about attractive friends of mine that I feel weird about. I know that this would never be a reality, nor do I wish for that...but it is weird how after a few days of no sexual activity with my hubby, these dreams pop up! But he loves it :)

4/25/2010 06:24:13 PM Report Abuse
reapers_baby wrote:

I have never had a sex dream with me and somebody else but I have had dreams about my husband haveing sex with somebody else I have had 6 dreams so far and they are all with different women what do these dreams mean?? someone please message me or something and tell me.....

3/25/2010 11:26:58 AM Report Abuse
brittanypittmon wrote:

I'm glad I'm not the only one!!! I have been having sexual dreams about my boyfriend and also other women. I thought I was crazy. I was wondering why I was having these dreams and what they meant as well. I'm glad I came across this.

3/11/2010 11:35:30 PM Report Abuse
Nabresha522 wrote:

I ALWAYS HAVE THE DREAMS OF PURE EROTIC INTIMACY WITH VERY ATTRACTIVE FEMALES...SOMETIMES MY FRIENDS(WHOM I AREN'T ATTRACTED TO)THESE ARE THE DAYS AFTER I'M INTIMATE WITH MY PARTNER MOSTLY!!! I DONT REALLY MIND THE DREAMS,THEY FEEL SO REAL!

3/5/2010 02:42:48 PM Report Abuse
danitfri wrote:

I have sex dreams too. I think that it is when my husband and I have not been intimate in a while and then my mind gets flooded with past relationships. Not all of them are sexual, but it still makes me feel weird because I am dreaming about them and not my husband. I am not sure how to tell him, "let's be intimate" without explaining the other part as well. We talk about everything. I just have to use some discretion and trust my husband. I know that he would understand

2/10/2010 10:34:12 AM Report Abuse
a_lopez12 wrote:

thats funny because i had same dreams as well.... just crazy sex dreams of me and my husband about things we wouldn't usually be doing! It did excite me but when i told him about it he was kind of scared wondering what is going through my head! lol

1/7/2010 10:25:01 PM Report Abuse
tiffany.mcgaughey wrote:

I have had some crazy dreams lately, most of which are a mix of sexually exciting and enriched with violence. I fluctuate between being turned on and terrified in the same dream! Some mornings, I wake up and wonder where the freak show came from...then push it all from my mind so that I can get through the day.

10/21/2009 10:33:13 AM Report Abuse
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