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The Unexpected Child
When I asked my friend how she felt when she discovered she was pregnant, she said, "I sat down on my stairs and cried." It certainly wasn't the answer I thought I would hear. But I suppose I really couldn't blame her: She was expecting for the third time, less than a year after giving birth to her second son. Who wouldn't feel completely overwhelmed in that situation? Still, it was a pretty shocking admission. Pregnant women are supposed to be thrilled 24/7. They're supposed to glow with happiness. They're not supposed to cry, unless they're crying tears of joy.
Cut to a couple of years later. I'm standing in the bathroom, knowing very well what the pregnancy test will reveal, yet I'm still stunned when the two pink lines appear. Granted, my third child wasn't truly unplanned; my husband and I had tried unsuccessfully to conceive not that long ago. But now I was pregnant: now, when I'd pretty much accepted that I'd only have two children, when I'd found my exercise groove and felt great about my body, when I could finally devote myself to my career. Now?
Like my friend, I felt anxious, happy, and scared at the same time -- and guilty, of course, for being anything but a blissful mom-to-be. Back then, I had no idea that many women deal with the same mixed emotions. "Our culture leads women to believe that pregnancy should be a time of complete joy," says Jennifer Louden, author of The Pregnant Woman's Comfort Book. "But the reality is that it's a very emotional experience, and the emotions aren't always pretty."
This is particularly true for women whose pregnancy wasn't exactly planned, a scenario that's much more common than anyone realizes -- or wants to admit. The mothers on the following pages talk candidly about the not-so-unusual reasons behind their surprise pregnancies and how they ultimately made peace with their conflicting feelings.
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Katie Farrell, 23 year old mother, got pregnant in the midst of drug addiction and homelessness. She didn't abort like her doctors said to. She cleaned up her life, had her son, and became a devoted, loving mother with a job and college classes. Her unexpected baby saved her life. Sadly, because of this brave choice she made, Katie's life was taken when her son was 13 months old. Find out more about her story, and how to help her son, at www.katiefarrellfund.com. All parents, be inspired by her.
4/22/2012 03:22:34 PM Report Abuseson is 7 daughter is 16 months and I may be pregnant with my third, I'm thinking oh crap what am i gonna do?
1/5/2011 03:56:05 PM Report AbuseToday I found out I am pregnant again for the second time. My son is 16 months old and i got pregnant in the same month as i got pregnant with my son. I got a test and when i saw those two little lines I started crying too. It's shocking to think that you have gotten used to the life you lead then your world is shaken knowing your going to do it all over again All the amazing wonderful things. And all the stressful sleepless repetitive things all over again Its hard thing to take in
1/3/2011 06:30:31 PM Report AbuseOh my gosh I got pregnant again just 3 months after I had my baby girl and I have to admit I cried too. This will be my 3rd child. A little boy that just turned 4 and my baby girl who will be 1 in Feb. I'm due just 2 weeks after her 1st b-day! It's definitely overwhelming but I don't regret a minute of it! I do miss sleeping through the night though! :)
1/3/2011 05:20:50 PM Report AbuseI just had a baby boy 4 months ago and a week ago I found out that I am pregnant again!I was freaking out and didn't know what to think... my husband was not happy at all! I didn't sleep at all the night I found out!But now we are excited, but still wondering how its going to be with a newborn and a little boy that just turned 1yr.I'm due a week after his first birthday!I feel exactly like lia_bia1!
1/3/2011 10:51:07 AM Report AbuseMy daughter was six and I was happy to be in the one kid club. I had dieted and worked out had the best body of the life. Then I found out that I was pregnant. I am excited to be having a boy in July but at 34 it will be a challange
2/19/2010 07:06:27 PM Report AbuseWhen I found out for the second I was pregnant time I cried and cried. This cant be true, it so hard with the one. Working all the time, trying to make time for her, dad's not working, barely have a minute as it is. So its ok not to be happy about it..just know that you will have to accept the fact you cant change, you cant really plan for the future when you have it..just got to take it as it comes. One day at a time.
11/23/2009 12:37:36 PM Report Abuse