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The Emotional Ups and Downs of Pregnancy
Mood swings, insecurities, fears, ambivalence, impatience, and anger are all likely to surface during your pregnancy -- often at unpredictable times. Why do you sometimes feel so out of control while you're expecting?
Hormonal surges can cause your emotions to fluctuate wildly, notes psychologist Fred Cavaiani, MA, a consultant for the Women's Center for Medicine at the Detroit Medical Center. But that may only partly explain the changes in your mood. Let's face it: Having a baby is a momentous life change. It's natural to feel joy over this new addition to your family, fears about your new responsibility, and even pangs of longing for your freer pre-baby days.
"You're a walking receptacle of feelings," he says, "and you don't have the ability to suppress them." So express them instead. "Open up to whatever it is you're experiencing," advises Cavaiani. Discuss your mood swings with the people you are closest to. "Sharing your feelings calms you down, helps you see things more clearly, and gives you the objectivity to find solutions."
It's difficult not knowing what the future holds, and typical to feel apprehensive about labor, delivery, and motherhood. There's also the added worry of how you'll manage to balance both work and your family life once the baby has arrived. All moms-to-be have worries, says Adrienne B. Lieberman, a childbirth educator and the author of Easing Labor Pain (Harvard Common Press, 1992). "There's a real crisis of confidence as you approach this exciting, tumultuous time," she says.
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What I hate is that I was opinionated before pregnancy, but now that I am pregnant, I can't have an opinion about anything or be honestly angry about something without everyone patronizing me and not taking me seriously, saying, "Oh, you're just pregnant and you don't really feel that way." It makes my work environment very difficult day after day since I feel I have to always be smiling and agreeable.
12/18/2011 06:24:09 PM Report AbuseI'm having more of a problem of other people telling me to "get over it" or "be more gracious" in my mood swings, like I have control over them. Then I'm made to feel guilty for feeling bad. And I'm getting this attitude from female family members -- not the men! They jump all over me for feeling even the slightest bit bad about anything, & I'm tired & want to start screaming & throwing major hissy fits instead of trying to hold it all in so I don't offend anyone.
7/10/2011 11:30:40 AM Report AbuseI'm 6 months pregnant with my 1st baby. I'm happy about the pregnancy but I feel like I'm out of control with my emotions. Lately, everything my husband does hurts me emotionally & I cry soo much! I'm so scared that all this anger and crying I feel (because its daily) will harm the baby (ie, cause low birth weight, premature delivery, etc). I just can't help it! Does anyone have an opinion on the harm negative emotions can cause the baby (if any)? -Mily(NJ)
2/7/2011 08:37:39 AM Report AbuseI really need help now.this emotional up down is happening to me ,too.but I'm not sure if this is because of pregnancy. the feeling I had of being hurt in our relationship with my partner came up yesterday and I had to tell him.he said this is not the pregnancy mood swing. Before I said this, he was 100%supporting the pregnancy and coming baby. But after, he lost hope in us and he doesn't want to have this baby anymore.I shouldnt have said that if it passes.
1/16/2011 11:31:00 PM Report Abuse(continuation of previous post)Guys take this into consideration: Even if it is hormones, it doesn't make what she's feeling any less real. Its been a huge adjustment and taken more than one crying fit on her part for me to realize blowing off a mood swing isn't the answer, this is easier said than done. I'm still trying to make an adjustment to this school of thinking...not making much progress though :P
1/16/2011 12:30:58 PM Report Abusei am posting from my GF's account and would like to mention the fact that some of these same feelings of uncontrollable frustrations, and fears are shared by the father to be as well. in my situation i tend to chalk up my GF's mood swings to hormonal mood swings. at times they are, sometimes they aren't. but in general my mistake has been to write it off.
1/16/2011 12:30:38 PM Report AbuseI agree with Anonymous. I just got into my first argument with my husband since getting pregnant and he just doesn't understand that this isn't a typical me. He thinks that I am just using being pregnant as an excuse and should learn to control my emotions even if I am upset. I just want to cry all the time because I feel like I am alone in this. I didn't ask for all this stuff to happen to me.
4/15/2010 08:25:25 AM Report AbuseI feel like a crazy all over the spectrumn of emotions..good and bad. And of course my husband just doesnt understand. Half the time he thinks I am faking or just using pregnancy as excuse..
1/13/2010 10:51:46 AM Report AbuseI am happy about the pregnancy, but sometimes I just get so frustrated. Morning sickness all day every day. That's when I start to cry!
12/29/2009 09:58:37 AM Report Abusei cry at the darop of a hat, all the time cry cry cry. cry when i'm ahppy cry when i'm sad and even cry when i wake up cry cry cry
12/3/2009 10:18:26 AM Report AbuseI know what you mean! I feel so pissed off sometimes that I just wamto scream and sometimes I do and I feel like I just need a hug and its hard due to the fact that I am separated from my boyfriend. I know hes there for me but I would have to leave my house to live at his parents house and I hate it because we have no privacy... Were strugling!@@
11/10/2009 10:59:31 AM Report Abuse